Not so very long ago, a girl named Cole desired a teddy bear for a festive winter holiday known as Christmas. She searched high and low for a bear that was friendly and soft, cuddly and cute until she found her heart’s desire. Unfortunately, a horrible monster called Outofstock would not let poor Cole have her desire. Day and night it stalked pages of the internet, refusing to give way until, finally it was defeated by a brave warrior known as Instock.

Cole was elated when this happened and told her tall, dark and handsome protector of her desire and although he consented, he was far too busy with more pressing matters to fetch the bear. Cole was lonely and sad at this turn of events and it prompted her to take action.

Cole wrote him an e-mail:

Dear Sir or Madame,
My name is Frost, Jack Frost. I am blue, fuzzy and approximately 15 inches tall. Don’t let my name get you wrong, I can keep you warm on a cold winter’s night and I am a GREAT cuddler!

“Why is Jack writing me?” you might ask yourself! Well, I will tell you, my friend. I am seeking a new home, a warm, comfortable home with a loving family whom I can love and spend many long days (and nights). I want to be held and hugged and I want to help people when they feel blue because I know what it’s like to be blue!

If you know a someone who could use a bear like me, please click this link to help a friend in need. Your kindness will not go unappreciated or unnoticed. For a low, one-time price of $89.95 American dollars, you can save a life and bring a smile to someone’s face!

So, please, friend, click this link now! Don’t wait. We need you!

Sincerely,
Jack

Cole thought herself clever until she read his reply.

Sorry, don’t know anyone who could use a bear like you. Try craigslist.

He had outwitted Cole but she would not give up. She pestered him incessantly for days but his replies were only scathing judgments made on Jack, a bear who “stalks” and inappropriately “hits on” men. In jest, he feigned fear of Jack, wonder how he could have appropriated the e-mail address.

This play went on for several days until he noted that Jack’s stalking behaviour had further increased – Jack now had ahold of his other e-mail addresses and was sending e-mails threatening to visit him. These e-mails said the “bear was on his journey.”

Cole was further elated until he began threatening Jack. Jack would be destroyed and defeated before Jack would be allowed to replace Cole’s protector. Jack had his sights on Cole and was evil. He meant to sneak into Cole’s life and blind her by his cute and blue fuzziness.

But Cole knows her protector will be a good boy and deliver to her a lovely blue bear named Jack. Or else!

I dreamed that I was at war with Korea. Not necessarily Korea, though, but just “the Koreans.” But, don’t worry, Alexander (the land he ruled was simply called “Alexander” and was next to “Alexanjra”) came to save the day when we sent him a rice hotdish through a magical oven. Strangely enough, our map (which somehow mom could read perfectly. Who would think she would make a good commander?) didn’t have any oceans on it. I guess this was before the continents formed?

Tomorrow I return to work after being off since last Friday (I was scheduled to work Sunday but called in) and it feels like forever since I’ve stepped foot in that building.

Unfortunately, I spend most of that time being ill with a cold. That combined with Rian working on New Years Eve meant I spent the night home along watching movies online. It was quiet, for the most part, and I realized I haven’t celebrated the new year for some time. It seems to me that this is due mostly to being graduated and away from my friends. I was never much of a partier but my social life is extremely lacking here due to the aforementioned reasons. I’m not quite sure if I’m bothered by this or not. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed bringing in the new year with your loved ones.

In other news, I found it unusually difficult to accomplish anything during this time. I do have some site projects underway and some new tasks to take on but I just haven’t felt as up to it lately.

Instead, I change my desktop wallpaper and theme to match. I present to you, the glory that is NCIS.

I did, however, discover that Blogger’s comment code is invalid and thus invalidates my blog and there’s nothing I can do about it. Wonderful, eh? But should I really be surprised? Neither Blogger nor Google (which owns it) have valid sites.

I also joined a few new forums, one of which I’d like to give special mention of. In the few short days I’ve been posting at Ecstasy, I’ve come to love it. It’s active and is really the story of board I’ve been looking for. I encourage you to take a look.

Dear Mother Nature (“Mother”),

Mother, I want to preface this by saying that I respect you but you sure do piss me off. I know that you could kick my ass any day of the week and I’m sure many ancestor-of-Coles have been subdued by your eternal powers and dragged into the murky abyss that is the world of the unliving but I still feel that I need to say my piece. Now, I know your job is a hard one and you must have a hell of a time keeping everyone happy, especially with humans are meddlesome as we are but..

Come on! What kind of cruel trick is this? No snow for Christmas? But you decide to snow on us for New Years? A holiday that isn’t actually a holiday and isn’t made any better with snow? (I’m sure all the drunk drivers agree, not that they’re of upstanding reputation).

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to keep up the good work but please halt the not-so-commendable work.

Sincerely,

P1010150, originally uploaded by Cole on 16 Dec ’07, 8.31pm JST PST.

More to come later