Yes

The movie “Yes, Man” really resognated with me in a powerful way. It sounds kind of silly in writing but it did. And so, I decided, with the prompting of my now ex-husband, that I needed to say yes to more things. I began to wonder if perhaps I was missing out because I was declining invitations and turning down ideas to do things simply because they did not sound immediately interesting. But, perhaps there was enjoyment to be found in doing something with people I love or simply to try new things even if they weren’t exactly my cup of tea or if my anxiety surrounding new activities can be frustrating.

So, for the past year or so, I’ve said “Yes” a lot. I’ve wound up doing things that I probably wouldn’t have done, simply to spend time with friends and family and expand my horizons. I’ve wound up having some good times and enjoying myself quite a bit and am glad of my decision to be a Yes, man. Or woman, as it may be.

I think I’ve come out on the other side of the equation, however. There’ve been a few times when saying “yes” to something wound up being pretty stressful and the payout far lower than the sacrifice or effort than I had to come in. I’ve come to the point where saying yes to some things just isn’t worth it. I never meant to say yes to every thing but it just sort of happened that I was rarely saying “no” and maybe I temporarily forgot I could reject an invitation, too.

I have been reminded of that and I’ve also been reminded that sometimes, no matter how much fun others may have and how many people I love may be doing it, some things just aren’t for me. It’s okay to say “no” when I know I’ll have felt like I’ve wasted my time after. Sometimes not doing something is exactly the change of pace I need. There’s no forcing myself to enjoy something that I just don’t find enjoyable.

I’m much more open to ideas than I once was and I think that’s the point, to consider things, to try some new things but not to run myself ragged in the process.