7 Truths about Women

1. We have hair in unfeminine places…
and if you notice it, that’s great but you don’t need to speak up. It’s extremely likely that, yes, we are already aware and that we’re hoping you won’t notice or we’re in between treatments (read removal or bleaching). Women don’t just shave their underarms and legs; stomaches, backs, butts, feet, chests and faces all have hair that can be a little more persistent than peach fuzz and we’d rather do without. If you luck out and end up being with one of the women who doesn’t give a rats ass and likes to leave it natural, good for you but the majority of us secretly deal with these hair issues and that’s that.

2. Beauty takes time..
and if you knew half of what many of us feel “needs” to be done, you’d be a bit more understanding. Instead of being a dick and saying something like “You look fine, let’s go already!” why not try “You are so naturally beautiful” as we just step out of the shower, instead. The aforementioned hair, skin cleansing, make up application, slipping into undergarments both protective and shaping as well as the actual dressing and the fine tuning are what make the complete package. Celebrities don’t naturally look like that and neither do we but it feels good to know that we can. Is it so bad if we always want to put out best face out there?

3. Women burp, fart, poop and pee..
just like the rest of the world, and just because we are women, doesn’t mean it’s dainty; it can be nasty. We would appreciate if you both didn’t freak out about it one you realize this and also don’t make it into some sort of party. Grow up and accept that it happens but don’t encourage us to do so (unless we’ve given you some sign that we’re into that sort of thing and we usually don’t).

4. Women like sex..
perhaps just as much as men and as often. We like to experiment, we like it rough, we like it with no strings attached and we like it a certain way. It doesn’t mean we’re freaks or perverted and wanting a guy to actually do something to get us off doesn’t make us bossy. It doesn’t mean we don’t also want to make love but don’t be afraid to spank or pull hair or talk dirty.

5. Women like porn…
because we like to see good looking people and get off by ourselves, too. Stop gaping and accept it.

6. We won’t break but we’re not one of the guys
We’re strong too and many of us strive to prove that we’re just as strong as you. But this doesn’t mean that we’re not different. We can take criticism but, yes, sometimes it will make us cry. We like rough sex but that doesn’t mean we want to wrestle with you. We may be emotional sometimes but we’re also here to take care of you when you’re upset. While you should treat us better than your buddies and not go out of your way to hurt us (mentally, physically or emotionally) you also shouldn’t go out of your way to protect us; we know the world’s hard and we like the challenge (and rough sex).

7. Women want you to be a man..
and just because we can change the oil, fix the sink, move the furniture, program the VCR, beat you at sports and drink you under the table, doesn’t mean we want to all the time. Women are stronger than they used to be and it means men should be stronger than they used to be. Unless you’re with some radical feminist who, by some reason, isn’t a lesbian, we want you to open doors, open jars and hold umbrellas. We want you to be a shoulder we can cry on, sometimes, without having to deal with your tears, too (there’s some for those later, I promise). “I’ll never be good enough” is not an excuse to not try and never will be!