I have a love-hate relationship with my kitchen.

On the one hand, it’s mine or, at least, as close to mine as anything gets these days. Ryan tends to leave it alone so I govern it in any way I choose.

On the other hand, I don’t particularly love anything that the kitchen was made for using it for – dishes and cooking mainly and the messes left by said activity.

Dishes are messy and I always wind up wet with dishwater or get a fair amount on the floor. I also don’t love having to scrub until my fingers fall off. Ryan, as much as I love him, is hopeless when it comes to the fine art of rinsing dishes before putting them into the sink rather than letting them sit and become encrusting with what might have once been a sandwich or chicken strips or the-end-all-be-all of disgusting food remains RANCH DRESSING.

Now let’s talk about cooking. Some people are wonderful cooks and chefs. They do not need recipes and, if for some reasons they choose to use them, they deviate in a way that turns a simple meal into a piece of fucking art. I once knew a man with white carpet in his kitchen; he is one of those people. Let’s get this straight: I am not one of those people!

I don’t know how anyone can make food look like a masterpiece. My goal? Make it edible. I don’t know how anyone can finish baking or cooking with a spotless kitchen. My goal? Make it without any major catastrophes. And I certainly can’t keep myself looking like one of those 50s housewives by the time I’m done. My goal? Don’t sweat into the chicken too much.

Cooking demands far more time and energy than I want to give to something that I don’t naturally love. I am not a great chef because I lack 2 important qualities: desire for precision and patience. Coincidentally, this is also why I would make a bad sniper.

Precision, you ask? Yes, precision. Precisely. It’s not something I strive for. I like the feeling of a job well done if it’s a job I like to do not one I must do out of necessity or because someone else tells me to do it. Cooking is just one of those things. Even if I really desire the outcome – edible, even delicious food – the process is something I despise.

What’s the deal with patience? Unless it’s something I can put in the oven and forget about, I become agitated about the time and attention cooking demands. I don’t want to stand around “stirring occasionally” or watching for bubbles or thickening of paste or what-have-you. Even if I know that something needs constant attention I tend to get distracted by – oh – the internet and – wouldn’t you know it! – the food has become slightly charred.

So this attitude toward cooking generally means I do a sloppy job. I don’t tend to fully read through recipes which means I usually don’t get them quite right and don’t notice until it’s too late.

No, the food isn’t art and, yes the kitchen is a mess by the time I’m done which usually means more dishes that I’m not happy to do. It also results in careless accidents like, say, leaving the sugar bag over the burner where the vent pipe it for the oven and having it turn into a molten glob of sugar-lava on top of and inside my oven!

Remember how I don’t like scrubbing? I’m still working on that one. Coincidentally, those cookies were the best I ever made despite the fact that I thought they’d turn out horribly.

You’d think this fuck all attitude would make me the perfect candidate for playing Grand Theft Auto IV buuut, I’ll leave that pleasure to my beloved. -smirks-

I didn’t go out with a bang so much. no, work went out with a bang or, rather, it sent me out with what seemed like a bullet to the stomach. My last day was horrible.

Underlying it all was the unbearable heat in the cage. I’d say it wagers from 20 – a million degrees hotter in there than the rest of the club and out doors. Unfortunately, it’s a glassed in room with no circulation. I literally would be dripping sweat unless I was sitting directly in front of the fan, not moving at all. It’s probably issue enough to arise health concerns but no one seems to give a damn at all. This made me miserable.

It also gave me a headache. For some reason, heat like that makes my mouth dry and causes my jaw to hurt which turns into a headache. I know it probably sounds like whining when I say “OMG it’s hot in there” and use it as part of my reason to quit but if you worked there, you’d understand.

I awoke with my back hurting and although this eventually subsides, I found myself having new pains during the day: cramps. Now, I haven’t had cramps or even a period for some time because of my IUD so I wasn’t expecting it at all. In fact I assumed it couldn’t even be my period and didn’t check until I accidentally noticed while flushing the toilet. Nice one, ovaries.

Now on top of those two things I experienced the usual feast-or-famine deal with customers which means I either have a bunch at once or none – for hours. I’m not a person who takes being bored very well, especially when a proxy blocks all the good sites at work. After checking in on a few forums, I was bored out of my skull for the entire day while being physically uncomfortable. Nothing like having time on your hands to think about being miserable.

Besides that, nothing went horribly wrong except for the fact that my eyes were bigger than my stomach when it came to ordering lunch – I had a fajita and a sandwich. I ate the former and had no room for the latter. I wound up tossing most of it because it quickly became disgusitng sitting in the heat of the cage. This made me a bit sad.

I’m really glad to be done with that place, though!

So DisneySea was a lot of fun. It makes up a little less than half of the Tokyo Disney Resort with the other features being Disneyland, Ikspiari, a shopping center, Bon Voyage, the largest collection if Disney merchandise anywhere in Japan and a handful of hotels.

Tokyo Disney Resort has been around for 25 years. Disneyland there is actually the oldest Disneyland outside of the United States. Interestingly enough, neither park is owned by Disney park, something no other Disney park can say. Anyway, the park was full of signs and attractions celebrating the 25th anniversary in bright, bold colours.

I was simply amazed by the park, as I was with Disneyland but even moreso. These parks are both amazingly detailed bringing you into another place, not just showing it to you. It starts as soon as you enter the gate and see the giant rotating globe above a fountain of water with characters in gold decorating.

However, Disneysea is more geared toward the adults so princesses and Stitch have no place there. There are 7 themed areas known as ports (to follow the overall water theme): Mediterranean Harbour, American Waterfront, Mermaid Lagoon, Mystery Island, Arabian Coast, Lost River Delta and Port Discovery.

The entrance leads you into Mediterranean Harbour, a gorgeous port with Venetian influence. Ryan and I rode the gondola through the harbour where I snapped many pictures including one of a pirate ship! Toward the end, our gondolier even sang a bit of a song though I couldn’t tell you what he said. I definitely would love to visit Venice/Italy someday!

We checked out the American Waterfront, a rustic imitation of early America – where I even convinced Ryan to join me on the Tower of Terror. Let me tell you, I was a bit terrified once I was actually strapped in but it wasn’t that bad. It’s not one continuous drop of 13 stories; you don’t even go all the way to the top! Still, feeling myself being lifted off the seat was a bit terrifying.

Other highlights include the Indiana Jones Temple of the Crystal Skull ride which was inside a giant, amazing temple (of course). We were in a jeep-like ride on a track that bumped and jerked its way through the course. It featured an odd Japanese-speaking robotic Indiana who looked just like Harrison Ford, “poison darts” being blown at us and, of course, the large rock ball thingy.

We also rode the StormRider in Port Discovery, the Electric Railway between Port Discovery and the American Railway, 20,000 Leagues Under the sea in Mystery Island and we saw Sinbad’s Storybook Voyage – a show you progress ‘though’ on a little river while in a boat. I especially liked seeing Sinbad’s tiger Chandu who was adorable!

I’m happy to say I was finally able to see the characters and take picture of them, at least, if not with them. I tried to get one with Mickey but the crowd was crazy and girls were grabbing him before anyone else had a chance. I just don’t have it in me to compete with that!

We didn’t see any night time events, however; we chose to go home early as we’d been rained on all day and were quite wet by the time 5 o’clock rolled around and the early bus departed. I had hoped for nicer weather and the light mist in the morning wasn’t too bad but it eventually just became to much to continue walking around the park in the rain.

Of course, we did buy a few things before we left including some sweets for ourselves and a t-shirt for Samantha. Ryan even played a few games and, though he didn’t win, got some cute consolation prizes. I also have a few souvenir coins from the “coin pressing machines” to remember DisneySea by, though I doubt I’ll be forgetting it any time soon!

I had a lot of fun in Wausau and I’m sure the pictures prove it. I transfered upwards of 500 pictures to my computer from my trip to Wausau and from our visit to Tokyo and DisneySea. I am in the process of uploading them all to Myspace, Flickr and Facebook. Keep your eyes open as I add the rest.

So far, you can see all the pictures from the Miss Gay Wausau Pageant and if you’d like to see some of the professional shots, you can do so here. I had a great time watching last year’s Miss Gay Wausau as well as the current winner and the other talent who entertained that night, including Mr Gay Central WI.

I also just finished adding pictures of friends and family including and especially focusing on Samantha who, although a monster, is quite amazing when she feels like it. I have a lot of silly shots as her as well as her stuffed animals and even one of her betta Angel.

Not to worry, there’s a few other pictures as well. Robyn, Savannah and Fernie all made appearances and Wendy even made several! I even have a few shots of Ginger’s son Aiden who is adorable but oh-so-tiny for being 2 years old. Other faces make appearances, too. Floppy graciously shows his gorgeous self for us even!

When I finish, you can see all the shots of my new haircut (when it was still new and awesome!) as well as DisneySea and Tokyo’s Ueno Zoon.

63, originally uploaded by Cole on 22 Apr ’08, 9.16am JST PST.

You know how I hate my job? Well I put in my resignation a few days ago. Less than 2 weeks left in that hellhole.