I have felt.. moved my music more and have wanted to move to music more lately. I listen to it and it strikes a deeper chord than it’s done with years. I’ve never been one of those people who could just give or take music, never much thought about it. It’s always had some importance in my life and that importance has changed over time, of course. I noticed I hadn’t been feeling music the same way I once had and it made me a little sad. I think I wasn’t feeling much of anything for a while but now I just kind of want to, sing along and loud.. and maybe find something else to sing or move along with.

So give me a band and/or song suggestion? Recommend me a song that’s just great to feel or something that is lyrically significant. And I’ll let you know what I think.

Lately, I’ve gotten the impression that a lot of people expect the internet to be a certain way. That assume it will be, well, nice. And honest. And welcoming. Understanding. Comfortable. I’ve got news for you: it’s not. It hasn’t been. It never will be.

It’s not that I don’t want it to be. I am compassionate enough that I want a place like that, at least some of the time. But the reality is that this is the internet and it offers a sense of anonymity which means many people throw morals, compassion or even just common sense out the window. Even if I put my name behind something, there’s no real ramifications for my behaviour (unless it’s illegal and, even then, internet crimes seem to be prosecuted far less than “real” ones). Who is Cole to you? And what can be done if I’m mean? Quite frankly, I like having a place where I sometimes can be mean.

But even if anonymity weren’t an issue, the internet is just not one place. It is many, many places with many different visitors and purposes and, perhaps most importantly, many different rules. In fact, I go many places online where they are no rules about bad behaviour. GASP! But even places with rules all have different rules and you have to seek them out, really. It’s pretty much a given that you can’t spend all your time in those places. I’m sorry. You will, almost certainly, wind up on some website where it’s okay to be a dick. Which means that either you can whine about it or suck it up because at the end of the day, people will be rude whether online or in your face and you can just turn off the damned computer anyway. No one is making you stay, participate in the drama or be a “victim.” You know how it goes: if you can’t take the heat, get the fuck off the internet.

But, like I said, even I enjoy having places with rules to visit. I like being able to go someplace and know what to expect (and that isn’t drama or harassment). Sometimes I don’t really want to deal with hostility and sometimes I want a place to rant or rave and to feel that people care. There is a time and place for that and I commend the people and groups who provide those safe havens in an otherwise unsafe internet world. It sometimes adds a level of comfort that cannot be found on anonymous, no holds barred websites. As much as you can say whatever the hell you want, it adds a safety net.

But it’s not impervious, either. Even if you make rules, they cannot be enforced unless someone breaks them. Sometimes? That’s already too late. The damage is done. Even if you try to stick to those safe places, shit will happen. People will break the rules because, honestly, how serious is banning as a consequence when there are a million other sites online? And how much shit can one person stir before a moderator has the chance to step in, especially if there is only one or two?

This is the internet. Sure, there are lots of LOLcats but there’s also many negatives about it because, at the end of the day, it’s made up of people and even good ones have bad days and make poor judgment calls. If that’s too much for handle you, I suspect your monthly internet fund would be better spent getting professional help.

I’ve begun to make a few phone calls regarding moving and apartments. Our plan is for the end of next month. We’ll have most of our stuff moved and drive to Milwaukee with the cats. Simultaneously, I have become so frustrated with this apartment. It’s the one I wanted but I’m done with it. We’ll likely have much less time to apartment hunt (because we will probably be in a hotel) but I hope to be a more discerning “shopper” when we do. There are just some things I am no longer willing to put up with or do without.

No more shallow sink.

Our dishes pile up incredibly fast, my back hurts and I have trouble washing some dishes because we have midget sinks. I didn’t notice at first. I will in the future.

Carpet Bars.

All our carpets simply just end with no bars to attach them to the floor. This makes it easy for them to fall apart and our cats sometimes paw at the floors if the doors are closed. The carpets are pretty much falling apart because of this.

Bedroom Lights

There is no lighting fixture in our bedroom. I know. Ridiculous. Even with all the lamps on, it’s still dark.

A working oven.

Maintenance thinks my oven works fine but everything I’ve ever burned begs to differ. Everything remains cold on the top and middle while the bottom is burned black. No thank you.

No Fireplace.

Don’t ask me why nearly every apartment we looked at in San Antonio had a fireplace. We’ve never used ours and I don’t know who would, unless it’s to hide the evidence . It’s Texas! We have a wall that looks okay with a shelf and some decoration but it’s mostly a waste of space that limits how we can arrange our furniture.

A higher tub.

Again, with the ridiculously sized water related things. Our tub is so low that water always spills over the side because the faucet is so high above it. And our shower curtain looks stupid.

Ryan says we can’t be picky but, to be honest, I’ve never experienced most of these problems in any of the other apartments I’ve lived in. It just seems like some ridiculous oversight by the construction/management companies. Carpet falling apart? No problem! Just distract yourself with the fireplace! Maybe I was distracted when we were looking. Not this time.

I make brownies quite frequently. They’re good. As much as I enjoy the finished product, I love licking the spoon just as much. I remember when I was younger, waiting for mom to finish so I could lick the spoon. I hated having to share with my sister. We’d fight over who got what implement. Ryan doesn’t care to lick the spoon because he has no love for life he’s not a fan of sweets, really. Oh well. More for me.

So, I sign onto Maplestory, excited to see all the changes. There was a massive update last night that lasted over 9 hours which ended all the November/Turkey Day quests and brought in a bunch of new events. All of the related items for the old quests expired, as is expected. Included in this was a belt my character was wearing which raised her stats enough to be able to wear her armour and weapon. Those items became deactivated. At first, I just noticed the armour and figured, no big deal. I could run around naked for a bit until I leveled. A little nudity never hurt anyone, right?

But then I realize that my weapon is no longer active and I have one on another character but because I’ve just started a quest which requires me to stay logged in for at least an hour, I cannot fetch it. So, now I am naked and weaponless waiting for the quest to finish so I can remedy at least one of those problems. Boo.