C: Lies
C: Pies
C: Meal of fries
C: Happy sighs
C: Sunrise
That’s it? Eyes
C: I have a surprise
C: Is that wise?
C: Let a blog post arise.

I’m just sniffling because I think I’m developing allergies and that is something to cry about.

Once upon a time, I would avoid the mirror. I’d run past, especially if I were naked. I’d force my gaze to stray from the areas I didn’t like. There wasn’t much that I did like. And it wasn’t just the morning routine that was disturbed by my self loathing. It was detrimental to my relationships. My self-consciousness infiltrated every area of my life in a way that others probably didn’t understand and maybe you can’t also understand unless you’ve been there, too.

Lately, as I’ve watched the pounds slowly melt off, as I’ve put on pants that I couldn’t wear for years, as I’ve shopped for clothes that actually fit, as I’ve found styles that accent my curves, I’ve been less reluctant to face what the mirror has to show me. I started with small steps. I allowed forced myself to view a little at a time, then a little more. Now I can stand in front of the mirror in full. I suppose I have desensitized myself to the images that I had convinced myself were so vile before.

Now I see me in the mirror, every day, as I apply lotion. I see my skin, my hair. I see my shape, I see my scars, my marks, my blemishes. I don’t love it all but I don’t hate it, either, and that’s the accomplishment. I don’t flinch or run away. I am more or less at peace and, yes, sometimes even happy with what I see, with parts that I used to hate.

The difference plays out in my life. I walk taller, shoulders back with my chin up. I spend more time beautifying myself. I laugh more. I am less self conscious in public, which makes me less uptight in general. I am more open because I am not trying to hide myself for fear that someone may realize that I am not an attractive person or, rather, that I don’t find myself attractive.

All this confidence only pushes me to do more because I can see it, in those mirror images, that I am almost where I want to be.

Cause it was so hopeful. It didn’t matter if you were a single guy. There was a mannequin waiting to come to life for you, just around the corners! Fret not ladies! You, too, can have your very own comic-book character stepping out of the pages. What can possibly go wrong?

I have decided to embark upon a mission and, that mission is to watch a whole bunch of classic, epic and well-respected movies. Y’know, the type that everyone should see before they die. Or before they turn 25. I started off with Blade Runner and This is Spinal Tap. I know! It’s a shame that I had yet to see them. My list includes such titles as

• Appocalypse Now
• Dr. Strangelove
• Footloose
• Fast Times as Ridgemont High
• It’s a Wonderful Life
• Goldfinger
• Psycho
• Animal House
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
• The Godfather
• Rebel Without a Cause

Suggestions are welcome, as always. After this, I might just delve into some classic literature–although, that will likely take me much longer.