I checked my email yesterday to see a notice from my host about how one of my websites, Lyrical Musings, was acting as a phishing scam. It seems that someone gained access, changed a bit of code in my main theme and uploaded a couple dozen directories to use my website as part of their phishing activities. I hadn’t noticed, because I don’t often update it. In fact, WordPress came out with a pretty recent security update, and I was on the ball with my other three websites that use it, but totally forgot to update my writing blog.

Someone must have fallen for the phishing scam and then reported it to the actual website, who then took the time to contact my host and myself. My host immediately shut down the website, and I went to work, because I was at the computer right when I received the email. Although they didn’t touch my WordPress database, they’d uploaded a bunch of files, so I logged into FTP to delete those. I then manually updated WordPress and reinstated the website, so that I could update any plug-ins, all of which were up to date.

I was receiving an odd error, so I ran through all my WordPress files that I hadn’t updated to see if that was any inappropriate code, and I found a single line in the beginning of the index for my main theme. I deleted it, and everything is safe now. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve only personally been “hacked once” in over ten years, so I’m doing okay. The hack was also pretty weak. They accessed no passwords, and didn’t lock me out. I didn’t need to do a complete roll back; although, I could have.

There were a few lessons to be learned anyway:

• Just because you don’t frequently update a website doesn’t mean it’s less of a target. In fact, that may very well be the reason it is a target.
• This is why it’s so important to update all your scripts.
• Scripts as popular as WordPress take security seriously, but can only do so much if you don’t update your stuff.
• You may not necessarily notice that you’ve been hacked. It could take several weeks, if you don’t frequently check the website.
• Every single anti-virus company has a tool to check websites for compromises (although, efficacy varies).

Have you ever been hacked?

I’m no fool. I know that I burn. I know my white skin doesn’t tan, not really. I know that I should wear sunblock and, in fact, I did on Saturday, which I spent all day at the pool. I diligently checked my skin for any signs of mistreatment from the sun, even though it was cloudy most of the day. I saw nothing and.. then I guess I forgot all about it–until, that is, I realized I was bright red, but only in splotches. I’d burned one shoulder, one leg, one half of my chest and all my upper back. Even though I had the tub of sunblock in my bag, it didn’t go to any good use. I saw every one reapplying, but thought nothing of it.

Obviously, burns happens when you least expect it, and you need to reapply product before you see them. I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me. I guess it’s because I never spend that much time out in the sun? Luckily, it looks worse than it is. It’s a little uncomfortable but not itchy. There’s no blistering and I don’t think it will even peel. The red has quickly faded, at least to me.

In the end, was it worth it? Absolutely! I’ll be more diligent next time, but I had fun with old friends and making new ones. I dipped my feet and waded into the lake. I played with others’ kids and enjoyed some grillin’ food. I felt so normal and stress-free! I needed that. Even though I’d only had an hour of sleep, I enjoyed  relaxing under the best-placed tree I’ve ever met! And looking at this:

Mission Lake

So I’m not super rich, bitchy or dumb–well, maybe bitchy–but you can keep up with me in a variety of ways, you know.

• Grab my feed and stick it into your RSS reader, Google home page or feed app on your phone.
• Subscribe to my blog on your Kindle. It’s just $.99!
• Go mobile. Her Realm now uses an awesome mobile app that should autodetect your phone, tablet or other devices.

Saturday evening, I invited a few friends over to play games and have a lowkey birthday bash. I was worried it would be too boring for people, but it wound up being quite fun. A smaller group of us went out to dinner beforehand, and I enjoyed some food from Olive Garden. We retired to my place, where we played several rounds of a game called celebrities, which I found online. Everyone liked it more than I figured, and it was funny to see glimpse into how people thought. We enjoyed some snack foods and a movie–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Everyone left at a different time–and not everyone who I invited could show up–but it was good nonetheless.

There were no presents or alcohol, but that’s okay with me. There was a little cop-pulling-one-of-my-friends incident, but that seemed to resolve itself. All in all, a success.

Today I am 26, and I don’t feel all that great about it. 25 was amazing. I was at the top of my game when it came to managing my anxiety. I’d made new friends. I had new hopes for the future. I was falling in love and starting to envision my future.

I feel like the 366 days between then and now have been more of a setback. I still have those new friends. I’m still doing better with anxiety management, but I’m not doing as well as I was then, and it bothers me. A lot. So today didn’t feel fantastic. I wasn’t enthused. I spent some time with my mom and sister, and Mom kept mentioning how I felt down. I did. I do. I just can’t hide it today. I didn’t quite respond, either. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to articulate that I feel like a complete failure, sometimes.

The truth is, I’m being hard on myself. I’m still better than I was, say, two years ago. This has been a trying year, but it’s not been just one failure after another. There have been successes, too. Everything, really, has been maintained. That should be good but to me it just feels the same. Perhaps that’s my problem. I just need something new. I’m no good at sustain positivity when things aren’t constantly changing.

I’m also being hard on you guys. I would have loved for someone to plan a tiny surprise–not a giant party, just a little show up at my door, a bottle of Mountain Dew, an actual call. I really need someone in my life who is as thoughtful as I try to be for my loved ones. I would have liked for anyone to try to make the day a little better, for someone to do my dishes or take out the trash so I could have just one day where I didn’t have to worry like every other day of the year. Just one day that felt different.

But I know that people are busy. I know that sometimes a text is all that I can get. I realize that I am lucky to have 20+ Facebook well wishes. I’m lucky enough to work from home. I’m lucky to see my shortcomings and have the opportunity to fix them. Some days, I just wish I could relax and that others would take care of stuff–and I really want my birthday to be one of those days.