I don’t think that tomatoes get a fair shake. You see, it’s a fruit that isn’t sweet, so people treat it like a vegetable. However, it doesn’t seem to stack up against other veggies. I single-handedly know more people who dislike tomatoes than any other vegetables, which is a shame. It’s one of the few “vegetables” that I can stand. A few one a sandwich are okay. Some in pasta? Great. Add to salsa or sauce? You betcha.

Perhaps I like tomatoes because they are the most fruit-like vegetable.. or is that the most veggie-like fruit? Either way, everyone else ought to give them a chance. If I were a tomato, I’d be downright depressed.

Perhaps the better title of this post would be “everyone loves me.” But I thought that sounded a bit too egotistical. It’s true though. I have no enemies. People don’t dislike me. They meet me, they learn about me and they love me.

I think this is because I make their lives better. I listen, I make them laugh, I’m a good friend, sister, daughter, whatever. And people tell me this all the time. It’s amazingly touching. It’s also reaffirming because I always suspect that I am beneficial to others, but that they take the time to tell me proves it.

I am a lot of things, and not all of them are good, but it more than balances out in the end. It makes my life worth living, truly. It makes me glad to wake up in the morning and look forward to tomorrow.

The thing about this is that I don’t really try. I mean, I do, but it’s not like it’s difficult. What could feel better than knowing you’re a positive factor to those that you love — and knowing that everyone you’ve ever loved pretty much agrees — than the knowledge that you’re just naturally good at it?

I don’t know. Maybe nothing better exists, just like my enemies don’t.

My heart is broken. I’ve lost a good friend, and arguing over blogging isn’t on top of my list of things I’d like to do. However, I’m doing it anyway. Any I’m not even sure why. I’m not even sure what the argument is anymore, but here’s the back story.

A blogger asked a group of bloggers about where to draw the line between pleasing brands and readers. She viewed her readers as ultimately the most important. I agreed, and replied about how my main goal with Reviews by Cole is to be honest and to provide a real service to my readers. In fact, my most commented on posts are reviews of items that I bought myself and gave honest, and usually negative, reviews on. Consumers search out those reviews, and they feel so strongly about the same subject that they are compelled to leave comments. It’s kind of amazing because some of the things I’ve written and have expected to be less popular are the most popular posts on my site.

And, yes, I write for my readers because my review blog is a hobby. Oh, it’s a labor of love, all right, and I bet some people wonder why I do it considering that I don’t get paid for it, and I can understand that. Then again, plenty of people put time and money and labor into hobbies like that. However, I started blogging so many years ago, and monetization wasn’t a word. I mean, we were just trying to figure out HTML and how to add comments. No one was how PR and social media would be in 2013.

It’s been almost five years since I started Reviews by Cole, and I did it for two reasons.

1. I wanted the extra cash from sponsored posts
2. I really wanted to provide a forum for people to have information about products

For about a year, I almost exclusively reviewed things I purchased because it created the content I needed for my blog. Was it getting companies some backlinks? Maybe, but I was writing honest reviews, some good, some bad. The more often I work with companies for reviews and giveaways, the more work I have to do. I’m searching for companies, sending pitches, replying to pitches, posting on social networks, communicating with other bloggers, so on and so forth. So, yes, it’s a lot of work that I don’t get paid for. I understand why people would want to get paid for it, and I even understand that it’s something of a luxury that I have a choice at all.

“Cole,” they say “we have to get paid to blog to pay our bills.” I don’t want to be classist here, but the only thing I can think of in response is “Sucks to be you.” Because these bloggers will never be able to enjoy blogging the way I’ve been able to. But, you see, I don’t want my job to be something that I love doing. I can’t turn into a truly pro blogger because I would hate doing it. I would hate the restrictions that come from working at something I love like that. Perhaps it sounds odd, but I’m just not the type of person who can do that. I would become resentful and eventually come to hate the very thing I’d love. No, if I’m going to have to work for someone else, I’m going to pick a job I’m not crazy about to begin with because I can handle disliking it.

I digress a bit, however. The point isn’t necessarily that I would dislike blogging as a job, but that coming as it as a hobbyist, I cannot help but view some people who see it as a job as less genuine. Because they have to get paid. They have bills. They have to do what brands and companies ask, and they might be doing things they don’t love or fully endorse “because it’s a job.”

This is where my beef comes in, though. Stay with me. As bloggers working with companies, we’re constantly fighting a battle to prove that what we have to offer — backlinks, honest opinions, Tweets and our audiences — are of value. We try to avoid underselling and convince PR reps  that what we have is worth something, and that something is often cold, hard cash. To prove our value, we have to sell ourselves. We put on our best smiles and we try to win people over to our side. We negotiate what is fair and acceptable. Even the FTC has something to say about that, now.

Blogging will never go back to what it once was, and I don’t have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is selling out. Because when you will do anything for a buck, aren’t you essentially saying that you have nothing of value to offer? If you bend over backwards or restrain yourself from telling the truth to your readers in the name of your relationship with a company, are you really helping anyone? Doesn’t the power of “Yes” only stem from the option to say “No”? Hint: yes, that’s exactly where it comes from. So when people sign up for brands and do all their bidding in the name of paying their bills, I understand, but I don’t condone it.  If you have to push aside your values to pay your bills, perhaps you need a different job — honestly.

There’s a difference between professionalism when it comes to brand interaction and being a slave to the brand just like there’s a difference between selling what you have and selling out. In fact, if you’ve only ever made your blog after you figured out that you could make money from it, you probably didn’t have anything to offer in the first place. Sorry. It’s not the same as starting an shop or a restaurant because then you make money directly from customers. You want to please the general public with your products and services, and their needs have to be met if you want to stay in business. Now, most of us aren’t going to have readers pay to read our blogs, but you should still provide some sort of value to your readers. If you don’t, you’re selling out and, yes, polluting the Internet.

And if you’re offended? Maybe you secretly know that you’re in the wrong.

There, I said it.

I mean, dating at 26 is weird because it’s the first time in my life I’ve actually done all the awkward do-I, does-he, do-we stuff in person. So there’s that.

And dating is weird when you’re divorced. I inevitably have to bring it up, to explain why and to detail my ex-husband’s role in my life (none). I feel pretty self conscious about that.

With Facebook? Dating is even weirder. I can’t quite say everything I want to say because even if the person I’m discussing isn’t on my friends list, someone who knows them is. Words spreads quickly in a small city like this.

Finally, dating is weird when you become romantically involved with people who have historically been your friend. I’d never expected to have to navigate that road. It’s just. Strange. It’s slow and awkward. It’s still fun and exciting, but you’ve got to be careful when becoming more-than-friends. In fact, I think this is trickier than dating someone who was previously a stranger. There’s just so much at risk.

So, you can guess what I’ve been doing from this post.

I don’t even know the last time I blogged here. To be honest, I don’t know the last time I sat down and had a little time for myself. While part of me — the old me who is afraid of change — wants to say that I need time to be alone and relax, I’m really not feeling anxiety like I did last year. In fact, if you’ve been following me on Twitter or Facebook, then you know that I think 2013 is pretty awesome and I’ve been having a good time.

I’ve been more social in this past week or so than I ever have in my life, I think. February was full of movies, restaurants and bars, but the beginning of March has included cuddles on my couch, game and movie nights, drinking with friends, catching up with family, reconnecting with old friends and general entertaining. There’s been very little time for me to even sleep, but I don’t seem to mind. I get up in the morning way before I expect to and am so excited for my day.

Someone suggested that is almost seems like I go through sl0w-motion manic-depressive states. In hindsight, this doesn’t necessarily seem untrue. I am on a really high high at this moment. I know it’s not sustainable, but it’s also not dangerous, and I am okay with that. Even my lows haven’t been quite so horrible, and I know I’ll fly through them, too. In the meantime, here’s a list of what you need to know about my life:

• Boys want me but they can’t have me because..
• Something romantic is in the works
• My friends are hilarious
• And they think I am, too, even when I’m drunk
• Pizza at two o’clock in the morning is awesome
• Sometimes a broken lamp is the price of admission
• Spring needs to come soon!
• The cats needs to chill out
• I hate the laundry room appliances here
• I am more comfortable with myself than I’ve ever been
• Cuddles are awesome!
• I really need to stop playing Candy Crush Saga. At first, it was boring. Now it’s an addiction.