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This week’s theme for WeBlogIt on Daydreamz is habits.. and it’s one that I didn’t want to write about in an obvious way and I thought of a really good topic and proceeded to forget about it. And that is my bad habit and because of it, I am writing an obvious post.

You see, I frequently think of things I want to write about. Things that are interesting or humourous or through provoking. I frequently think of these things at a time when I am unable to write them down, such as before bed or while I am working on something else (like my articles). I do it for blog posts, forums posts and emails. In fact, as I am typing this, I am reminded of a layout idea that I had–quite a detailed one at that!

So i’m drawing that on paper as I write this here blog.

The problem is, I don’t have a memo system. Sometimes I think I need a voice recorder, like Cruella DeVille in the 101 Dalmations cartoon that Toon Disney used to air. Something simple and quick because sometimes it just doesn’t pay to turn on a light, turn on a computer, search for a pen and paper and write it all down.

Those are flimsy excuses, I know. Still, I make no memo and sometimes these awesome ideas slip into the abyss–lost forever. Usually, I remember them. Not usually in a timely manner. This is what happened during the pets week theme of WeBlogIt. I love my pets and you know how important that are to me, yet I didn’t write about them. And I kind of lost the drive to do so after I forgot, then remembered again, and the week passed by. I get kind of bummed when I forget stuff and even if I remember again, it’s not the same.

So, this shall suffice as my habits post. Forgetting is a bad habit but so, too, is being lame when I remember. I should just post anyway, right?

Actually, I did not make a friend. But I did move a friendship to a new level and that’s kind of exciting. You see, I met this awesome lady and we started chatting in the same room and then we moved out friendship to AIM and, just this last week, it progressed to the phone.

I feel a bit like a school girl again! In fact, I feel a lot like a school girl again and I certainly felt that way when I was a wee bit nervous before the first time she called. It reminds me of how I made friends online when I was a teenager. We’d talk in a public place, we’d move to IM and eventually, if we became close enough, we’d talk on the phone. That was the natural progression of the Internet friendship when I was younger.

And it was fun. I could talk on the phone a lot. I still can. Im a talker. After 2 hours on the phone with my friend last night, my throat was begging for me to STFU. I have a lot of friends and not all of them are so awesome on the phone. I hadn’t realized how much I miss it.

Nor did I give much thought to why I pretty much stopped moving to the phone with my Internet friends. There is no single reason but many factors. The places where I chatted shut down. I became busier in high school, a trend that continued after I graduated and I began working. I began dating and married Ryan so much of my time was dedicated to him. I moved to Japan and I rarely called my mom, let alone new friends. I struggled with depression and other issues and, in general, I kind of stopped making new friends via the Internet for a while.

But this ain’t no pity party. It’s actually the exact opposite because now I remember how awesome friends are and I’ve made a great new friend. That isn’t to say I didn’t have any good friends. Some of my best friends now, both locally and internationally, are Internet friends. We just don’t talk on the phone much.

Whether or not our friendships rely on the phone, I’ve made some really awesome friends online. Somehow, I have connected with people across time zones, state lines and cultural divides. I’ve found wonderful people who listen to me when I need a friend and amazing people who make me laugh like crazy. And crazy people who are a match for my own insanity. And, hopefully, I’ve been able to provide the same for them.

So for those critics who say you can’t forge real relationships online, maybe you just fail at making friends while we do not. The Internet has changed my life with these amazing friendships.e

Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.
Denis Waitley

The future it unknown. To me, to you, to anyone. And this used to terrify me. I used to try to control things in the present because I feared the future would be something uncomfortable, something I didn’t want. Ironically, the future did turn out to be something I didn’t want. Only, the future was now my present and I was stuck in it, for better or worse.

So I did the only logical thing and I began learning how to appreciate what I did have: my friends, my family, my pets, my job. I taught myself to be grateful. I began to seek enjoyment from the little things, the things I may have overlooked before. And wouldn’t you know it, I became happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.

And there’s where I am now. So when I look at the future, I don’t fear that I don’t know what it will bring. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it will be more awesome than I could ever imagine. And even if there are bumps in the road, and I am sure there will be, if I can manage to be happy now then I’m pretty sure that I can make myself be happy at any times.

So if you want to know what I am looking forward in the future? I say all of it.

Because no matter what happens. Whether or not I see my friends and family soon, whether I get to plan a Halloween party, whether I wind up moving across the country, whether college happens sooner rather than later, I will be happy regardless. Because my happiness depends not on any person or any event but on me.