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Not too much is going on. I suppose life has slowed down as snow has blanketed the Earth leaving everything literally and metaphorically quiet.

I received my bear, Jack, in the mail the other day. He came complete with an air hole in the box and a bear shaped chocolate snack. The box itself was even creative (besides the air hole) with the inside containing a board game, the story of the first teddy bear and a list of “Things To Do With This Box.” I must say I am impressed with the company. A Vermont Teddy Bear would be perfect for kids of all ages.

Jack himself is impressive. He’s a bit more stiff than I would like but still cuddly and his fur is soft. He’s a gorgeous shade of blue and his attire is impressive made up of velvet and brocade with intricate details on his cap (in the traditional night stocking), jacket and adorable little boots – all of which can be removed when you need to put him in the washing machine to clean (gentle cycle, in a pillow case).

I recently finished The Color of Magic, the first Discworld book by Terry Pratchett. Although short, it was really a fast read. It’s satirical and irreverent without being wordy, poking fun at many fantasy cliches which have dominated the genre for years. Yet, Pratchett uses some of these himself as well as some creative techniques. I’ll admit that some things we simply cannot wrap our heads around because they are so fantastic! Often, his style reminds me of the late Douglas Adams whose series The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has been a favourite of mine since I first discovered it in middle school.

The novel starts quickly with a great city afire (though Pratchett assures us it will rebuild as it always has) which as been accidentally started by one of the main characters, Twoflower who begins the novel by fleeing said city with his newfound companion Rincewind “the Wizard” who has actually flunked out of wizardry school and isn’t much of a magic handler at all.

The book flashes back to their acquaintanceship where Rincewind discovers Twoflower (and his mysterious sentient chest of Luggage), a visitor to Rincewind’s home city Ankh-Morpork (the first ever tourist on Discworld) and follows them on their coming journey which eventually leads them to the end of the world, literally.

Rincewind and Twoflower live on Discworld, literally a disc sitting on the backs of 4 elephants who themselves sit on the back of a giant turtle (gender unknown which is quite the curiosity to Discworld inhabitants). In such a world, direction is measured in relation to the rim of the disc (rimward) or hub (hubward).

Though they battle the original fire, common thieves, a soul eating monster, imagined dragons who reside in an upside down mountain with their quarreling family of royal imaginers, and eventually end up in Krull at the edge of the world, while avoiding saying the number 8 (which Pratchett also avoids saying by describing it any number of round-about ways) which is closely associated with magic, Octarine (the eighth color, that of magic) and all-things-generally-unpleasant as Rincewind repeatedly eludes the none-too-happy-about-it Death, they remain generally unscathed.

Or do they? I recommend you try this book out and see for yourself (as do countless editors, critics and journalists whose opinions of Pratchett and his works who preface this novel)!

Not so very long ago, a girl named Cole desired a teddy bear for a festive winter holiday known as Christmas. She searched high and low for a bear that was friendly and soft, cuddly and cute until she found her heart’s desire. Unfortunately, a horrible monster called Outofstock would not let poor Cole have her desire. Day and night it stalked pages of the internet, refusing to give way until, finally it was defeated by a brave warrior known as Instock.

Cole was elated when this happened and told her tall, dark and handsome protector of her desire and although he consented, he was far too busy with more pressing matters to fetch the bear. Cole was lonely and sad at this turn of events and it prompted her to take action.

Cole wrote him an e-mail:

Dear Sir or Madame,
My name is Frost, Jack Frost. I am blue, fuzzy and approximately 15 inches tall. Don’t let my name get you wrong, I can keep you warm on a cold winter’s night and I am a GREAT cuddler!

“Why is Jack writing me?” you might ask yourself! Well, I will tell you, my friend. I am seeking a new home, a warm, comfortable home with a loving family whom I can love and spend many long days (and nights). I want to be held and hugged and I want to help people when they feel blue because I know what it’s like to be blue!

If you know a someone who could use a bear like me, please click this link to help a friend in need. Your kindness will not go unappreciated or unnoticed. For a low, one-time price of $89.95 American dollars, you can save a life and bring a smile to someone’s face!

So, please, friend, click this link now! Don’t wait. We need you!

Sincerely,
Jack

Cole thought herself clever until she read his reply.

Sorry, don’t know anyone who could use a bear like you. Try craigslist.

He had outwitted Cole but she would not give up. She pestered him incessantly for days but his replies were only scathing judgments made on Jack, a bear who “stalks” and inappropriately “hits on” men. In jest, he feigned fear of Jack, wonder how he could have appropriated the e-mail address.

This play went on for several days until he noted that Jack’s stalking behaviour had further increased – Jack now had ahold of his other e-mail addresses and was sending e-mails threatening to visit him. These e-mails said the “bear was on his journey.”

Cole was further elated until he began threatening Jack. Jack would be destroyed and defeated before Jack would be allowed to replace Cole’s protector. Jack had his sights on Cole and was evil. He meant to sneak into Cole’s life and blind her by his cute and blue fuzziness.

But Cole knows her protector will be a good boy and deliver to her a lovely blue bear named Jack. Or else!