I’m judging you

• If I go to your house and there’s no soap in the bathroom. Or if there’s soap but no hand towel. Do you not wash your hands? Gross!
• If you don’t wash your hands when cooking for other people. I don’t need to eat your food, thanks.
• If you’re a shitty tipper. Seriously? We’re not neanderthals.
• If you drop food and pick it up and eat it. From the ground.
• If you share food with your animals. I am a crazy cat lady, but this is seriously weird.
• If you doubt that dinosaurs actually walked the Earth. They did, okay?
• If you come over to spend time with me but spend the entire time on your phone.
• If you refuse to have fun because you’ve convinced yourself you won’t.
• If you say you’re not into drama but every damned thing you do creates it.

Maybe this makes me a judgmental person, but I feel like most of these things make me a clean and hygienic human being. And there’s a basic foundation that I need to even feel somewhat human so I just don’t understand when other people can bypass all these things and not.

I’m not going to leave the house without being clean and dressed. I can’t even spend a day without taking a shower. Now, it won’t kill me, and I certainly adjust my way of thinking when I am in another person’s home, but these things still cross my mind.

The thing is.. I won’t tell you that I they cross my mind. I won’t say a thing to embarrass you because that’s rude. But I will wonder, and you may see evidence of this cross my face for just an instant because I have nothing close to a poker face.

But, hey, maybe you’re happier than I am anyway.