Here I am

hearing: Audioslave
feeling: Alone, incomplete, miserable, you name it
browsing: Talk

I’m home. I am safe and none of my flights back were canceled. Although I don’t think I would have minded if they had been, just to spend more time with Rian.

My aunt Karen picked me up from O’hare and we stopped for breakfast on the way to my aunt Becky’s house in one of Milwaukee’s suburbs. Karen is extremely religious so I got to listen to her talk about God and she made ‘us’ say “grace” before eating because our tote at McDonald’s had been $7.77 and the total at Starbucks had been $6.66. XD

Becky was at the store when we arrived and Ed, Grandma and Reine, who were supposed to be driving me from Milwaukee back home, weren’t there yet. I had been hoping they’d be there so I could head straight home but that hope was dashed. So, I missed Samantha’s little birthday party thing and I felt bad because I told her I’d see her on Sunday. )=

Karen had to leave because she sold her condo and is preparing for a 12 year mission trip Romania so I hung out with my cousin Violet who is now 13 and I simply cannot believe how grown up she seems. I always remember her as an 8 year old but she isn’t anymore.

Eventually Becky returned home and we hung out as she planned a meal and I realized Ed and the group wouldn’t be there for several hours. We played cards and talked about the family, my trip, etc. I really enjoy being around her and hope that I will be able to spend more time with her in the future. We talked about how she looks like Dr. Weir from Stargate: Atlantis. (=

I don’t often have the chance to spend time with Becky, Violet or Karen so that was nice. I have more of a chance to see Ed or my grandparents but I don’t or can’t make the effort so seeing them was also pleasant. We all stayed at Becky’s for supper after which I started falling asleep until we left.

On the way to Grandma’s it started raining and then eventually turned to snow. Apparently, there was some big semi crash on the highway and it was started to go completely white out so Ed was relieved once he was able to find the first exit from the highway.

We stopped at Grandma’s long enough for refreshments and for Ed and I to make our calls back home to Wausau then we transferred all my stuff from Reinie’s car to Ed’s and headed home. It took us about 2 hours to make a 45 minute trip because of the snow and road conditions, however, and I was so tired that I bought a Diet Dew at a gas station instead of Dew and didn’t notice until after I started drinking it!

At home, Wendy was all huggy and told me she loved me which I appreciated. Karen gave me another box and bag of stuff and I have an additionally bag of gifts I bought for friends so I have quite a bit more than I did when I left which might seem expected to you but I didn’t expect to buy anything at all, really!

I’m slowly readjusting to being home. Somehow, everything seems not quite right although I know it should be. I was in shock at what a mess everything is and I know, for the most part, it’s my fault and just how I left it.

However, it would have been nice for the roommate to do a bit of cleaning. At least sweep and mop all the tiles floors or clean the bathroom. It would have been a nice surprise to come home to.

Alas, I will have to start cleaning. I think I’ll take a shower first and then tackle the bathroom and see what I can do about the front hall.

I feel extremely incomplete. I cried a bit when it was time to sleep because I didn’t want to sleep without Rian. While part of me is relieved to be home, I know that I should be with him and I’m not so sure I can keep doing this. I know he would have left for Afghanistan anyway, even if I had been able to stay somehow, but I still didn’t want to leave. )=

Well, off to the shower for me.