Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature (“Mother”),

Mother, I want to preface this by saying that I respect you but you sure do piss me off. I know that you could kick my ass any day of the week and I’m sure many ancestor-of-Coles have been subdued by your eternal powers and dragged into the murky abyss that is the world of the unliving but I still feel that I need to say my piece. Now, I know your job is a hard one and you must have a hell of a time keeping everyone happy, especially with humans are meddlesome as we are but..

Come on! What kind of cruel trick is this? No snow for Christmas? But you decide to snow on us for New Years? A holiday that isn’t actually a holiday and isn’t made any better with snow? (I’m sure all the drunk drivers agree, not that they’re of upstanding reputation).

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to keep up the good work but please halt the not-so-commendable work.

Sincerely,