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Social class and perception – 2 ideas that don’t usually go hand on hand, except when I’m talking.

I had always perceived my family to be lower middle class. We certainly weren’t any higher but we were doing abut as well as most people I knew and, in my mind, I equated average with middle class. I definitely was envious of those with more money but was a firsthand witness to the hard work necessary to put food on the table, especially in my early teen years when my single mother was trying to support the both of us after just having left her husband.

We saw some improvement after Mom married Tim. For once, there were 2 working adults compared to a single parent or how it had been with Mom’s ex-husband who worked when he wasn’t too lazy in a very unstable profession. I hesitate to call him an entrepreneur but he did “own his own company” in the very lightest sense of the term. Whether we had any money depended on whether he wanted to work that day which often wasn’t the case and was never a good idea in the field he was in.

But things looked up, not much but we always had a roof over our heads and food to eat plus little perks here or there. I reveled at having my own money when I was working part time in high school. I partook in shopping to an extent I’d never had to chance to explore, before; even though it really wasn’t much. I could choose what I wanted and when and, since it was my own money, my purchases were mine and mine alone.

i think that little taste of freedom led me to feel very restricted by the financial situation I’d known all my life. As I graduated, started working full time and moved out, and found myself with money to spend, I continued to do so, more than before but only what I could afford. And what I could afford, I realized, was more than what we could afford before even though I was only working as a cashier. It only occurred to me what the reality of the situation was after I’d been removed from it.

And it’s interesting that what had been average was much lower than I realized. What I had considered middle class, was in fact, working class. What I had considered to be well off was more along the lines of middle class because my perception had been skewed. All of this, of course, I only just found out recently as I had been browsing Wikipedia pages on American classes.

But I’m not the exception. I think that people tend to spend greater amounts of time with others of similar classes and thus their children will also spend time with people in similar situations and they tend to assume it’s the norm. Only when removed from the situation can people see that yes, that is indeed the norm or, no, it’s actually lower or higher than the norm.

And once you’re out on your own without support from your parents anymore, it doesn’t really matter. You start at the bottom and, hopefully, work yourself up to the standard that you are most comfortable with. But whether you’re effective at saving and budgeting can certainly revolve around the perceptions you develop about money from a young age.

I think it does us all good to have our perceptions challenged from time to time.

In December, we ordered furniture – a sofa, chair and matching ottoman – from AAFES. We had to go online, print out the page, bring it in the store, fill out paperwork and be told to wait 2 – 6 months. Great. We didn’t know it would take so long and were understandably (in my opinion) a little disappointed.

It actually didn’t take that long which was awesome, considering as it’s a crazy amount of time to wait and also because it was ordered and shipped in the middle of winter. We received something that might pass as a phone call telling us it was in and were able to schedule a drop off a a few days later.

Unfortunately, we also had to schedule a pick up for our “rented” furniture. The pickup was scheduled from 7am to 11am the the drop up from 1pm to 6pm. Now, as anyone can see, this plainly takes up the majority of my day.

With relatively little pain, our rental furniture was picked up including a few pieces that had just been in the way for some time. They came early enough that I was able to fall back asleep until early afternoon but excitement woke and kept me up. Shortly after, the delivery guys rang the bell and I let them in.

The first unfortunate thing I noticed was 2 packages rather than 3. “Where is our ottoman?” I asked? The delivery man told me it was indeed on the list to be delivered and perhaps it was packaged with the chair. “Okay,” I thought. But it wasn’t.

The second unfortunate issue I had was when the delivery man told me “Ma’am, your furniture has some damages.” This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear. The couch is beat up on both back corners with rips and, on one corner, parts sticking out. Additionally, it’s torn on the center back.

The delivery man offered to call the furniture store but wanted to open the chair, too. That was was damaged, albeit less severely than the couch, with a bent up corner. So he called the store and explain the damaged products and the missing ottoman and I talked to a man at the store and explained, again, the issue.

Both men were sympathetic but the man on the phone didn’t seem to be accustomed to this issue and offered to have someone else call me back.

In the mean time, we have no furniture so we must use it and he instructed me to have the delivery men bring it in, which they did.

Now, the third unfortunate point which is not entirely anyone’s fault is that what we expected to be nice red furniture was, in fact, an ugly orange. The color difference from monitor to reality was more than a little disturbing.

So yesterday we go down to the furniture store only to find nothing we like and decide we’ll just order the same thing again and pray it shows up okay. I decide that, in the event it is damaged, as long as we can switched colours, we can just get it mended back in the states later this year.

This is where the woman tells us that she’s just finished dealing with a family who have ordered something 3 times and, each time, the furniture was damaged. Add to this that they had also ordered from the same company and Ryan and I are pretty anxious by the time we leave.

The woman says we need to return the furniture and to give a call when we have arranged rental furniture for temporary use.

It would be nice if the story ended there, at that less than desired ending but, alas, it worsens. After calling to inquire about getting rented furniture again, I was politely told we can not, despite the fact that our furniture was damaged and we must give it back to the furniture store.

So, we need to return our damaged furniture and cannot have any rental furniture in the meantime? I’m sorry that’s just ridiculous.

What really adds insult to injury is that, one of the major factors in purchasing this set, is awesome. It looked incredibly comfortable and is! The chair is huge and I can lie across it completely. The sofa is just as comfortable and I’ve secretly been wanting to sleep there instead of in bed.

What to do, what to do? I could sure use a miracle now.

Despite my strong urge to go home next month and continuous dreams of family and friends, there are a few places my soul longs to see before I lay me down to sleep forever.

The list includes (but may not be limited to)

• Niagra Falls (but I won’t be going overing)
• Italy (Venice and Rome maybe even the Vatican to both the pope!)
• Germany, Austria (the motherland as Ashley calls it and it’s sidekick)
• Phoenix, AZ (I know, right?)
• Las Vegas (Ryan says I can’t sell myself but at least I can try to make some money)
• Australia (Home of Nemo and many of Cole’s internet buddies)
• Ireland/Scotland (Okay, any place with a cool accent is on my list)
• Amsterdam (I just have to see the dirt first-hand)
• Sweden (The birthplace of Ace of Base and many awesome bands d=)
• Paris, France (I could almost think in the language at one point)
• London, England (Rain, rain come to stay)
• Russia (I can’t be Tsarina Cole the Terribly Great without stepping foot in my kingdom, can I?)
• Alaska (If the great outdoors didn’t call to me before the Simpsons Movie, it does now!)
• The east coast of the US (which hopefully will be a reality, soon!)

Most of these places are European countries or cities so I’ve long decided it would be perfect for me to take a tour of the continent, probably a castle viewing tour as that would be pretty awesome, no?

And after living abroad, the idea of traveling within the continental US seems to ridiculously easy that I’m sure I’ll knock all those destinations off my list lickety split, once I can.

Which leaves Australia as the most unlikely place I’ll ever visit. It’s a shame that I’m so close to it now and won’t be able to but reality sucks, eh?

So where would you go, had you the chance?

Straight from the office of Cole comes this official message:

I am going home. I don’t think I’ve really talked about that here. I took leave from March 16 – April 15 or so and I bought tickets to fly out from March 17 and fly back on April 5ish. I’ll be home for Easter.

I’m really excited to see Samantha. I keep dreaming about it. I dreamed I was home last night and she hugged and kissed me. )= I doubt she’ll do that right away as she’s always a little shy with me in the beginning of my visits but I hope to spend a lot of time with her as well as friends and family I haven’t seen in over a year.

New poll. Tell us about your criminal past or lack there-of.

I also updated the navigation to use acces keys and will be adding an article about HTML access keys soon. I’m constantly looking for ways to improve the accessibility of Her Realm and I hope this is a useful tool for people. Hovering over the links will show you the access key shortcut.

To access they, press Alt+ the access key in IE, Alt, Shift+ the access key in Mozilla/Firefox, Ctrl + the access key on a Mac, Or Shift, Escape + the access key in Opera.

I’ve added a legend page and here is also a legend to the access keys.

I must also report, with some that distress it appears my vote for the primaries will not be counted. )= I realized, too late, that I would not be able to send my ballot back in time for it to be counted. Furthermore, I’m pretty sure I didn’t even receive it in time to do so.

But, to add insult to injury, I found out there there was an online vote for the Democratic party through Democrats Abroad that I probably would have been able to take advantage of as it is made specifically for American citizens outside the country, like myself.

Had I realized this organization exist before January 31, I would have said “count me in.” Unfortunately, I didn’t hear anything like that nor did I see anything until after the fact. I would have been a nice thing for base officials to let us know about (I only registered for my absentee ballot after receiving a mass e-mail about sites that help with that.)

Pah! I sent my ballot off anyway. At least my state served me well and voted for Obama. d=