Category Archives: Thoughts

While I am not a big fan of sports, I did once wear a football jersey to school in middle school. d= It was A Troy Aikman jersey which belonged to a friend of mine. I didn’t really care about either him, the Cowboys or football in general but I was something of a tomboy back then.

I hate the way I laugh. I do not like the way it sounds or how my body moves but.. I love to laugh and that wins out over the dislike of my odd laughter.

I like pink, the colour. I don’t walk around in all pink but I like it as an accent and several pieces of clothing and/or shoes I own do contain some pink.

I am compassionate. Not all the time but I really have a soft spot for people who are good and deserving. Extreme Home Makeover makes me cry all the time because of this.

I swallow pills weird. I could never swallow them when I was younger so, after years of headaches, I finally learned to shove them down my throat so they’re already swallowed. It’s not really pretty to look at. LOL But it works and I don’t even need to drink water.

Even when I don’t want to be, I am something of a romantic. fairy tales and true love and forever and ever, amen. Sometimes it clashes with the reality of my life but it’s a strong drive nonetheless.

I am incredibly in favour of the phrase “Yes Ma’am.”

My favourite letter of the alphabet is “A.”

There are just some times when you listen to the lyrics of a song and you wonder how someone could possibly be writing the very things which you are thinking and feeling yourself. In some ways, I can take parts of many songs and apply them to me and I always have been able to. When I was a teenager, I felt such a deep connection to music and the enjoyment I derived from listening to it was emotionally based. Over time, I became less angsty, angry and broken hearted and I found that I just couldn’t feel music the way I used to. On the one hand, I knew this was because I was feeling better but part of me couldn’t help but wonder if I wasn’t somehow feeling less, instead. I did begin to enjoy music in a different way, however; I began to enjoy music for its sound and its beats. I developed an appreciation for music which is good to move to but it just wasn’t the same. I felt a little bit like I’d lost a part of myself.

Now that my life has spiraled out of control, I find myself feeling music in a way I hadn’t in years.. but I wish it weren’t the case. I wish I couldn’t feel the lyrics quite so easily. I wish those sentiments didn’t apply to me. Call it a case of not appreciating what you have when you have it. Maybe I was just caught up in thinking the grass was greener in the past-ure (haha, bad joke). So I know it won’t help to repeat that attitude now but I cannot help but feel a tinge of regret.

I must admit that when people talk about banning gay marriage to preserve the institution of marriage, I am entirely confused as to what the hell that means. It’s not like the one man-one woman ideal has exactly helped the institution. Society has come to a point where people view marriage as something as fleeting. Divorce is seen as an acceptable answer to every little problem. People quit instead of facing the facts: marriage is not for the faint of heart but with a little elbow grease, most problems are fixable.

And if you take a look at why people are getting married, you see that many times the intentions are not what can be considered good. They’re selfish or manipulative. People are marrying for money, legal status, because there is nothing better to do or for power. Sure, some people marry for love but society doesn’t seem to have a bone to pick with those reasons. I mean really, it’s like society has made a mockery of marriage anyway so wouldn’t letting people who want to marry because they love each others and their families actually help preserve this institution? Could just be me, though..

Speaking of families, procreation is often listed as a reason why gay marriage is a bad idea. As if gay people don’t want families? It’s not like they haven’t or won’t jump through hoops to have children and manage parental rights. No straight person would stand for that kind of legal red tape so why is it fair to ask that of gay people? And if procreation is so damned important, then shouldn’t we ban people from marrying who have no plans to or are not able to conceive children?

None of these arguments just make any sense when viewed from a logical perspective.

And not just my sister’s favourite colour. It’s my newest musical obsession, I guess. I happened to catch a concert of hers on TV the other day and I was really impressed with how she treated her audience and her show was simply amazing. She puts a lot of effort into it and it’s very entertaining. She also comes off as a very real person.

I remember liking her when she first came out. I liked her brand of “girl power” which, while feminine, has never been.. well, girly. And her songs are just so anthemic of my life right now; so many of them portray my feelings to a T. I guess I never realized how much I like her as an artist.

You know what else? She’s hot. Like, seriously. I’d do her.

Being away from central Wisconsin has allowed me to grow unaccustomed of the way things are done here. On the one hand, that means I have had an opportunity to see how things are done differently elsewhere and by people other than my family. I have and continue to grow away from bad habits. And when the way we do things has proven effective, I can see that, too. Really, there’s almost no negative to growth.

And there is nothing really awful (although, it is quite dramatic and stressful; I wouldn’t be remiss to call it dysfunctional) about being back here in what I used to call “home” and, yet, there’s nothing I really want to return to, either. The local culture just isn’t me, anymore. It’s blue collar. It’s small town/city. It’s everyone-knows-everyone else. It’s a situation and a place which I can respect. People work hard to take care of their families. They make do without complaining because they know that what they have is better than having nothing at all. And there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just someplace I don’t want to return to after having gotten a taste of the world.

And. having had that taste, I want to give it to everyone else, too, so we can all be motivated to do better.