Category Archives: Thoughts

I am no super activist. I don’t picket. Or burn my bras. I’m not even good at boycotting stuff. But I talk and, perhaps more importantly, I listen. This is how I’ve come to learn a lot more about issues like feminism and women’s rights in the recent months. And the more I learn, the more I agree. And the more I learn and agree, the more I talk. And not everyone wants to hear about movements. A lot of people are okay with the status quo. A lot of people don’t want to put their necks on the chopping block. People don’t want to lead the fight.

That’s okay. You don’t have to. You can just talk about it. After all, I am only one person. I can only do so much but instead of that convincing me that I shouldn’t try at all, I’ll just open an avenue of communication and help spread the word as much as I can. Isn’t that what change is, anyway? Isn’t knowing half the battle? Even if I’m imparting knowledge to people who may not necessarily care. They may still take something away fro the conversation. And movements need people at every level.

If enough individuals open up those lines of communication and spread knowledge and awareness, change will come. Uniformity will happen. Bonds will form. It may not be easy. Or quick. And sometimes it may not be legal. Yet, I have never shied away from doing something because I was afraid it would be too hard (okay, except for calculus. Sorry Roch!) and I don’t intend to start now.

If all I can do is talk about the things that matter, then I plan to do it.

Last night (well, technically the night before by now), Ryan and I went to a WNBA (that’s women’s basketball for you!) game. It’s really not something we would have done had the opportunity not arisen (I got the tickets for free from a review network!) but I am glad we did. I have had a history of not trying new things because I get so nervous over being in unknown situations and not having control. I have been working through that, however, and try to remind myself that while the initial moments may be uncomfortable, that usually fades pretty quickly.

For instance, I didn’t know the layout of the venue but Ryan did and I was over my initial unease in 5 minutes (if it even took that long!). I thought about skipping out on the autograph session for that same reason but wound up going, anyway, and now my sister will have her very own Silver Stars t-shirt with an autograph! In the end, the perceived discomfort was far greater than the actual discomfort but I could have let that perception prevent me from doing something new. In hindsight, that’s a bad habit to develop.

Most people are so afraid ore rejection. They are afraid to ask because they don’t want to hear the word “No.” As if those two letters, side by side, are the end of the world. They’re not really. Few things can be answered by “No” that promise to be horrendous. Perhaps “Doctor, will I live to see Christmas?” but most people really won’t be any worse off if they receive a negative response.

And let’s not forget that even if something is a “no” now, doesn’t mean it always will be. People can change their minds. Circumstances change. “No” can become “yes” before you realize it.

And, while it’s not the focus of my thoughts at the moment, sometimes “No” can be what we need even when we don’t realize it.

But the thing is, if you don’t ask, you won’t eve get a “Yes.” If you want someone to do something with or for you, they probably won’t unless you give them the idea in the first place. If you don’t put yourself out there and take that risk, the risk that is almost always much smaller than we convince ourselves, you won’t ever reap the benefits. You will be causing the very thing you fear.

I used to do that a lot.I would want to do things and not tell Ryan and the day would pass and we wouldn’t do things and I’d be all pissed off at the universe for not letting me do something or at Ryan for not being a mind reader when, really, all I had to do was ask. Wow! What a run-on sentence. Ryan might say “No” or he may say “Yes.” He may say “Maybe later” and we’d find a happy medium if he really isn’t interested in what I want.

The thing is, I cannot possibly know until I ask and to become frustrated over something that I caused myself, something that I may be partially inventing in my head? Does no one any good.

Sometimes I will take a risk. Sometimes I will be shut down. Then I’ll try again. It’s the only way to really get a “Yes,” though.

If you have joked with me about how awesome I am, it might seem surprising to hear that I don’t like to too my own horn but, truthfully, I don’t. But I don’t truly talk about or even recognize some of my strengths and sometimes that’s a shame.

Lately, I’ve been working to effect positive changes within myself and I’ve got a little bit of pride about the progress I’ve been making.

One thing I’ve been working on is time management. I’ve been paying more attention to the clock so I get things done in a timely manner and don’t wind up spending hours playing a game or chatting. I feel like I have more time in the day, sometimes.

This has also helped me be a better communicator. I used to takes weeks or months to respond to emails but I am much more on top of things.

Another ‘side effect’ to this is me being able to accomplish more things on a more reasonable schedule – whether it’s blogging, reviewing or taking care of the house. This definitely makes writing for DemandStudios work better than it would have with my previous schedule. Working at all is definitely a change, too, compared to the past 2 years or so. It’s both confidence boosting and stressful.

I’ve also been working on changing the way I think about a lot of things–like the challenges life gives me. I’ve been learning to be happy despite them, not waiting for them to pass. Additionally, I’ve made a commitment to let things slide, to try to look at the bigger picture. These two things have led to me having less anxiety than I previous had; although, I can understand if it’s hard to see that in these stressful times.

All of these things have contributed to me sleeping better. I get the best sleep when I’m not overtired (because I lost track of time) and less anxious. I’ve managed to break some of my really bad sleeping habits. I just wish the cats would work with me more on this one.

So, I’ve noticed a of progress. I’ll come out of this a better problem, for sure. A better friend and family member and significant other. But progress does not equal perfection and I still have a ways to go.

Did you know that I mostly write for eHow and you can see a bunch of my articles there? Honestly, it inspires me to write more tutorials on this site because the format there is very particular and super specific topics (such as those about WordPress or website maintenance) can seem a little out of place on eHow.