Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Apr 08

I’m alive!

I owe you all an update – on the site, my life, friendships, work and everything.

Some things don’t change – same job, same apartment, same site, same husband (of course) and the same roommate.

The site is the same, too, but not. My host had some issues with the server on which my site is, and hence the site when down. I was less than thrilled that they didn’t contact me at all, so I contacted them (unfortunately, my internet was also being shitty at the time so this took aaaaages) and they alerted me of the situation so I was just waiting for the site to return.

When it did, no one could visit it because it asked you to login and there was no “right” login: you just got a “authorized personal only” popup. Funny, isn’t it because the word is personnel. XD

It turned out that some file was making the site go crazy and while it may have existed it didn’t do anything until the server issues and once we got that fixed, my site kept loading the WP index.. which no one is supposed to see!

So, if you did see it, forget it. ;) It took a bit, but the splash page finally shows up again.

Also sitely related, I have a new affiliate. Visit Lotte!

Nonsitely related, I’m counting down the days until I move. I’m planning to leave Wausau for Milwaukee after the lease is up. It will only be a few months, but it will be enough time to spend some time in someplace else, with more people, more to do, so I can really live a bit. Plus, I’ll be able to spend more time with my aunt, whom I really like, and cousin down there, and the family in Chicago.

Though Ashley says it won’t happen (because I have lots of ideas all the time and I don’t usually go through with them) I have no reason to stay here and no place to go, either, once the lease is up.

I’ll probably stay with my aunt for a while and temp a bit. If worse comes to worst, I’ll transfer to another Wal-mart, though I’m reluctant to do so. Hopefully, it’ll be easy enough to find my own place and easier to live without a rooommate.

Wendy.. is a unique person. She’s cute, sometimes annoying, energetic but too submissive and unassertive for her own good (and mine) sometimes. If I send her an e-mail or write her a note she never replies (and I don’t see any improvement) and sometimes I have to ask her 3 or 4 times, face to face, to get a straight answer about things.

I thought that living with a friend would mean I’d do more but she rarely wants to do anything when I do, thus we only do stuff when she wants to and she pretty much refuses to drive me anywhere.

It’s only made worse by how she locks herself in her room. (I wonder if she thinks I do the same?) It makers her seem unapproachable and me feel alienated and alone. )=

Also, she isn’t very helpful. She owes me money and I think Iv’e been pretty understanding but I would like to see it come back to me someday, and the sooner the better. Besides that, I don’t think she’s ever touched a broom in the past almost year she’s lived here. I always have to clean hte kitchen, bathroom and front hall. I don’t expect her to clean the living room because it’s almost always my mess but the other two rooms are (usually) mutually messy.

When I have to do it all myself, I do it less frequently than I should and sometimes I wind up letting things go (the dishes, the garbage) just to see if she’ll do it but the garbage never gets switched or taken out unless I do it, or ask her to. Also, she never washed the towels and if I wash them, she’ll just throw them on the dryer instead of folding them. I at least help out by putting dishes away she’s washed and it shows that I know she did something.

She’s just not good roommate material and while I feel like she’s ‘dumping’ me to go live with her sister in a few months, I’ll be relieved to not have to deal with having to wonder why she couldn’t just put the bills (which were stamped!) into the mailbox isntead of on the entertainment center where I only accidentally found then. Speaking of which, the electric company sent us another bill and it says we owe $450-some dollars which isn’t right at all.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with friends.. I finally got fed up with hearing Ashe always bitching about not having a job when she obviously wasn’t searching very hard at all (hey, I’ve been there and we all think we’re doing more than we are). I gave up trying to tell her nicely and told her in plain English to “get a fucking job.” Then, she went and posted it in her blog and went on with other things that made me not so happy.

So, I sunk lower than I should have and said things I feel sorry for saying but that I meant. I gave her honesty in less than friendly terms and I told her she wouldn’t get that from any of her other friends. I now consider the friendship severed because I figure it’s best we both cut our losses. I think it was coming to this for a while, anyway but it’s still sad..

It angers me that she still hasn’t gotten her stuff from my house. In fact she came over yesterday and left it. Come Tuesday, it’s out with the trash.

It makes me wonder, now, if any of the friends I made in high school.. were meant to be. If any of them will last because most of them I never talk to (because both parties don’t make the effort), I don’t talk to enough to have a good friendship, or we have had some sort of falling out.

On the bright side – I’m really feeling sooo much better about Rian and I. Things have been rocky-ish lately and it affected me to such an extent that I was feeling quite devastated even after we’d talked about it and worked some things about. However, I’ve been grinnign like an idiot and generally really happy about us lately. <3 name="work">Lastly my job still sucks and I’m pretty much counting down the days until I’m out of there.

That’s all!


Mar 04

Major Updates

hearing: Some country song
feeling: Tired but ambitious

The first major update is that I have renamed Canadia to Hockeyland USA. Canadians will now be known as Hockeylandics. Anyone who has any problem with this decision will be beheaded by me, Tsarina Cole the Terribly Great of Hockleyland USA. Actually, I’m not from Hockeyland USA but since I renamed it, I decided to appoint myself the new ruler. Prime Minister what? In all seriousness, now you Hockeylandics can’t insult Americans because you are officially apart of the USA! Ha!

On a truly serious note, I’m pretty happy with my most recent purchase: a new vacuum. It was $15 cheaper than the piece of shit I was using which had been a housewarming present from Mom and Tim and is about 15 times better, too. It sucks, in a good way. I picked up and vacuumed the living room so now it’s not such a mess. Maybe it’ll spur Wendy into cleaning something. Nah, who am I kidding?!

I find, though, that I have no place to put my stuff because Ashley’s stuff is in the closet. Actually, it’s just one exercise machine but it takes up the whole damned thing and her stupid broken piece of crap fake tree is sitting in my front hall because I don’t want to waste the effort to put it in the basement. Just get the shit out of my house!

Speaking of, I could put my stuff in the basement but a) it’s too much effort b) I’d need someone’s help c) I’d just be moving it in a few months, anyway and d) there are a ton of spiders down there. Besides, the tree smelled all gross when we brought it up anyway.

Enough of that. It seems that I will be doing some work for Regeneration magazine which is really cool! Check it out!

Lastly, I’ve updated the vote link on the blog pages. (oops!) and added an affiliate. I’ll try to upload a new song for you guys to download, too.

You know what’s crazy? How I’ve deleted, literally, hundreds off e-mails from my Gmail account and I still have 1921 left! It’s unbelievable that I could have more than that in the first place, though I do use it for all my mailing lists/Yahoo groups so I can keep up with music!

I’ve also taken on the task of typing up song lists for all my burned Cd’s, some of which are years old. It’s interesting to remember old songs I used to (and still do!) love and the ones I can’t quite recall as well. I’ve had to Google a lot of lyrics. So far I’ve typed up about 20. I knew I had some actually written down somewhere to I turned my room upside down looking for those little yellow papers only to remember I had typed them up months ago and they were already on my computer. -lol* I am such a dork!

Anyway, in that process I wound up going through a lot of my papers and while I threw many of them away, I found an article about Amanda after she died, lots of pictures of old friends and a lot of crappy, angsty poetry which I wrote when I was either a) depressed b) in love c) broken-hearted or d) all of the above. I really am a pack rat and hold on to a lot of shit I don’t need. I tossed a couple of binders of school stuff which is almost 2 years old, although I’m going to keep all my French stuff because I hope to relearn it and actually use it someday.

Anyway, enough from me for now.


Dec 20

I rock!

hearing: the dryer
feeling: cold
wanting: sleep

Although I’m sure you already know that and if you just so happen to want to reward me for how much I rock(or just want to see some of the things which interest me), head on over to my wishlists, the links to which are located here.

I believe that I have accomplished everything I intended to do over my days off, except go driving. However, My Christmas shopping is done (mostly),
Samantha's Presents

the presents are wrapped,
Presents

my room is a bit cleaner and I put together the book shelf.
My new bookcase

I took pictures of most of these things and I’ll upload them to the computer for your viewing pleasure at a later date, probably tonight. It’s about time these entries had a little more than just text. I know how daunting it can be to see pages upon pages of only text so I’m going to put forth some effort in adding other things here, too.

Also, I’ll have the time to upload some more picture of Samantha, which I’m sure you’ll all love.


Dec 17

It’s Christimas Time in the City

A week already since the last post?
I’ve been busy; hell, everyone’s been busy. If they weren’t, work wouldn’t be so damned busy.
Unfortunately I still have a job but I guess it’s good with all the money I’ve been spending on Christmas gifts. I just need to buy the ones for Mom and Tim but I know what I want to buy them and I know where I’ll buy Tim’s but I’m not sure about mom.

I still have to wrap and label everything I bought as well as put some extra ornaments on the tree. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned the tree but it’s a fake tree which belongs to my ex roommate’s step-father and is about 10 years old. Needless to say, it wasn’t very pretty when we first put up the lights and then I had trouble with those.

We got them all up and we we plugged them in, part of a strand wasn’t working. After some fiddling, I found a loose bulb on the floor and put it in its spot, but it still didn’t work so I bought some replacement bulbs and another strand of lights thinking that, if worse came to worse, I’d just change them. At one point, I’d thought the unlit section had actually moved from the middle of the strand to another place, but I’m not sure now. I thought that the place where the bulbs didn’t work was in the middle of the strand so that confused me even more but, as it turns out, it was at the end of the first strand.

Well, I did replace a couple dead bulbs and that helped, but the lights still didn’t work. As I’m playing with them, I realize another bulb is completely missing so I think that I’ll use one of the spares from the new set, even though I didn’t want to. It doesn’t matter as those don’t even fit.

To make a long story short, I found the last bulb in the box, put it in and the lights worked. I returned the extra bulbs and lights to Wal-mart but it wasn’t to the one in Wausau and they ripped me off.

Anyway, I bought some garland and hung the bulbs which Grandma gave to me along with the very few decorations I have and the tree looks much better. I’ll take a picture of it (and probably all the presents I bought for my sister) once I put up the rest of the new decorations I bought, which will be this morning.

I also need to clean up the living room, which is so full of boxes it looks like I’m moving again, send out my Christmas cards, and put together my bookcase. Luckily, I have off Sunday and Monday. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some sleep, too, and play Maplestory (I’m now level 23).

PS, I’ve edited the song of the week.


Dec 18

more questions and stuff

Well I know have an hour and a half off at the end of every day because I dropped calc. I wasn’t doing well, but I know I could have done well if I’d put any effort into it. I didn’t try and I feel as though I let myself (and Roch) down just walking out the easy way; however, I do feel relieved and I will devote more time to chemistry, and it’s not like I need it for any of the colleges I’m looking at. Yesterdya I felt bad aobut this. I felt as though I had done the typical thing people in my family do: run away from their problems. It’s probably the only thing I really regret about my life so far.. So in a way i’m punishing myself by not letting me go back; I made mymind and I have to deal with the consequences which means I will learn from my mistakes. Don’t I sound like a psycho?

In other words Valarya gave me an xmas card and she drew a little comic book thingy. It shows our tree falling down on us and me dying. It’s true except for the dying part. ^_^

I have one more college ap to send off and if I didn’t tell you I was accepted to Collins as well. Mom needs to sign something and we fax it in then I’m all done! I’m so excited

Tomorrow is our last day of school and the only class I’m doing anything serious in is chemistry. We have to finish the lab we started today and I really had no idear what i was doing. o.0 But I think everyone was behind and not just us. In every other class I have some sort of party. I’m going to get fatter than I already am. All I can say is wow, I though this was high school? -laughs*

Anyway I love Rian

Daily Dirt
1. What’s your favourite celebration ever? I don’t really plan things like this. If it happens it happens and I go along with it and things are much more fun when they’re spontaneous anyway.
2. Where do you love to celebrate your birthday? I don’t anymore. It’s been forgotten for the past two years and I have learned not to get my expectations too high. Whenever I have parties there are fights or I wind up not being the centero f attention and feel like no one cares and I get all melodramatic and then the shit really hits the fan.
3. Do you celebrate anniversaries? On the 7th Rian and I always say happy anniversary in some way…
4. What other stuff do you celebrate that does not have an exact dates? Floppy’s birthday.. I don’t know when it is, but sometime in may I tihnk. This year he turned 4 and I bought him a pink catnip mouse!
5. Ever celebrated anything alone? I don’t know..


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