Category Archives: Life

Sometimes I forget. I’m sure you do too, though. I want to be adult, I want to be in control of my feelings but sometimes I go overboard in such a way that allows my feelings to run me over, anyway.

Sometimes I just need to be reminded “It’s okay to have feelings.” After all, it would be weird if I didn’t have negative feelings at this time in my life. I need to remember to expect feelings, to accept them, to experience them and let them go. But I get caught up in not wanting to feel certain ways. I wind up berating myself, thinking that I am stupid and I should be beyond this.

Have you ever tried to make yourself stop crying by telling yourself how stupid you’re being? Yea, it doesn’t work very well.

There are people in my life who help perpetuate those unproductive thoughts, though. There are some who think I shouldn’t have feelings. They cannot possibly understand why I would be upset now but the truth is that they are irrational. I am just human. Alive. I care about my marriage. To have feelings now really is the most logical thing I can do.

To repeat:

It’s okay to have feelings.

If you have joked with me about how awesome I am, it might seem surprising to hear that I don’t like to too my own horn but, truthfully, I don’t. But I don’t truly talk about or even recognize some of my strengths and sometimes that’s a shame.

Lately, I’ve been working to effect positive changes within myself and I’ve got a little bit of pride about the progress I’ve been making.

One thing I’ve been working on is time management. I’ve been paying more attention to the clock so I get things done in a timely manner and don’t wind up spending hours playing a game or chatting. I feel like I have more time in the day, sometimes.

This has also helped me be a better communicator. I used to takes weeks or months to respond to emails but I am much more on top of things.

Another ‘side effect’ to this is me being able to accomplish more things on a more reasonable schedule – whether it’s blogging, reviewing or taking care of the house. This definitely makes writing for DemandStudios work better than it would have with my previous schedule. Working at all is definitely a change, too, compared to the past 2 years or so. It’s both confidence boosting and stressful.

I’ve also been working on changing the way I think about a lot of things–like the challenges life gives me. I’ve been learning to be happy despite them, not waiting for them to pass. Additionally, I’ve made a commitment to let things slide, to try to look at the bigger picture. These two things have led to me having less anxiety than I previous had; although, I can understand if it’s hard to see that in these stressful times.

All of these things have contributed to me sleeping better. I get the best sleep when I’m not overtired (because I lost track of time) and less anxious. I’ve managed to break some of my really bad sleeping habits. I just wish the cats would work with me more on this one.

So, I’ve noticed a of progress. I’ll come out of this a better problem, for sure. A better friend and family member and significant other. But progress does not equal perfection and I still have a ways to go.

Did you know that I mostly write for eHow and you can see a bunch of my articles there? Honestly, it inspires me to write more tutorials on this site because the format there is very particular and super specific topics (such as those about WordPress or website maintenance) can seem a little out of place on eHow.

May didn’t go out with a bang, big or otherwise. It did end on a high note if only because I have been working on being more grateful for what I do have. I hit up the mall on Saturday and got a new pair of jeans, a new game for my DS (Galactrix) and a bunch of soap from Bath and Body Works. Rather than being stressful, the trip to the mall was quite enjoyable despite the influx of shoppers for Memorial Day sales. To add to that, I walked into a dressing room with 2 sizes of jeans and only had to try on the smaller one.

May was my first full month working for Demand Studios and I got a good feel for it. I’ve definitely improved and have a better feel for the site.

I got a lovely birthday call, shortly after midnight, from Dez and Ryan and I hit up iHop in the wee morning hours of my birthday. My Facebook was full of well wishes and I got cards in the mail, unexpectedly. I honestly don’t even expect cards anymore so it’s always nice!

I feel like May was a perfect example of lowing your standards a bit and being pleasantly surprised by the world. In fact, it was the best month this year.

My lack of posting her lately has had much to do with my increase in writing elsewhere. I took up a few projects at Elance and Freelancer.com, only to move on to greener pastures. Currently, I am writing for Demand Studios which pays better, has better work and is immensely more interesting (less of a grind-fest) than the writing I’d been doing on other freelance sites.

However, as I am wont to do, I tend to multitask in a way that takes up more time rather than using it wisely so, by the time I finish my work, I just wanna chill and ignore you folks.

Just like I’m going to do now. d=