A is for..

A is for anxiety.

Anxiety manifests as anger and aloofness and alarming sadness.

(A is also for alliteration)

Anxiety is to be expected when your cat is dying, your bank account is empty, your credit card won’t work, and your debit card has been stolen.

But one of the worst things about anxiety is how it makes you feel bad for being anxious. Why should you feel so bad when other people could handle this better, perhaps in stride?

When you feel bad about feeling anxious, you don’t want to let people know that you’re experiencing anxiety. By the time I’ve made it to sadness, I’ve found myself so overcome by anxiety that I cannot hide it, even if I want to. If you see it, I’ve been struggling for a while and I didn’t want to or couldn’t reach out. It comes out because if it doesn’t, it feels like I will burst. Keeping it inside prevents me from eating, sleepy, and certainly thinking clearly.

Anxiety is not helped by those who tell you to relax or repeat platitudes like “It will all be okay,” especially when the issues are guaranteed to have a negative ending. Anxiety eases with time, with medication, with meditation, with a good sleep, with the resolution or lessening of those problems. And while just getting it out doesn’t necessary decrease anxiety, it’s easier to bear the load with a few shoulders to help.