Why is the issue of virginity so complicated? If someone else’s body part goes into one of your body parts: not a virgin.
Honestly, if you’re so uptight about sex and virginity that you need to justify an action as not-devirginizing or you have to participate in some alternative form of sex which isn’t vaginal intercourse in order to sooth your guilty conscience, then you should not be having sex, period.
I won’t lie and say that I’m not judgmental, because I am but I don’t like to say what you should or should not be doing if you have your head on straight about it. IE, you’re educated about it and are being smart. This goes for all things – not just sex. Want to race cars? Do it but be smart about it, know what it takes and judge if you have it. People don’t do that with sex, maybe because it’s easy, maybe because all you need is another willing person and that’s easy enough to find. I don’t know.
But I think if you fall into either of the aforementioned categories, and countless others which I do not have the time to mention, you need to take a step back and evaluate what you’re doing. If you have oral, anal or PIV sex and cannot say “Okay, I’m not a virgin anymore,” then perhaps sex is just not for you at this moment.
Sex is sex is sex. The only people who try to personalize the definition of virginity are those who are lying to themselves (and probably others) or those who are trying to cover their ass. Save yourself the time – and the snickers behind your back – and just stop, please.