Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Jan 18

Turn the Page

In the book that is Cole’s life, this chapter would start with something stereotypical such as “I never expected to return home and part of me dreaded it, as much as the rest of me was looking forward to it.” I would continue on with words about how things were not how they were when I left them (true), how I needed to cut ties with some of the people and things that used to be part of my life (also true) and how, despite all this, things would turn out even more amazingly that I could ever imagine (the truest).

I think what surprises me most about returning home is not the reconnections I looked forward to but the new connections I am constantly fostering. I have become good friends with complete strangers and better friends with mere acquaintances. The area itself and the individual people in it are continuing to surprise me. I never realized my home town, my home state was so full of versatility, options and adventure.

If you hadn’t noticed, the holidays were a little difficult and moving was stressful. I wasn’t able to be as positive as I’d have liked and that in itself was bringing me down a bit. I have been so positive these last few weeks, however. I’ve been dealing with, if not managing to overcome my anxieties and, at the end of the day, I am most surprised–yet pleased–with myself. As confident as I might sometimes appear, I guess I never knew I had it in me.

I am so fucking glad to be exactly where I am.

4 comments on “Turn the Page”

  1. That’s awesome! Good for you!

  2. FYI.. I loved this post.

    Not only is it awesome for you, but I felt like you were speaking for me – and it’s awesome for me! ha.


  3. That’s so awesome. It’s always a good thing when even though the negatives seem to be pressing you for their attention – you can still draw attention to and acknowledge the positives :)

  4. I’m really happy you’re in a place you love being right now. I think that’s what’s most important when pushing through diversity in your life, is coming out on the other side and being able to recognize how happy you are.

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