I would like to think that I am on the road to mental recovery, even if I didn’t even realize I wasn’t mentally awesome before. One side effect of this is the tendency to want to apply these newfound lessons to others around me. I am hyper-aware of the negative attitudes they are still perpetuating because I am trying to unlearn those same attitudes. And, sometimes I am able to share the lessons I’ve been learning with them. Still, it’s a little depressing because I’ve come to realize just how many mentally unhealthy people are close to me. I don’t know if it’s just because most people could use a little help in that department or if I attracted these people for some reason. To make matters even scarier, I can see how many people I know and love have no desire at all to be better than what they are. Maybe it’s not my place but I want to help them and I know that sometimes you just can’t. Some days.. I just want to cut all these negative people out of my life but then.. then I’d have no one.
The thing that I see on a daily basis is how much the people who I call my loved ones play the victim, blame others. They bitch. They want change but they do nothing to make it happen. They ask advice but they don’t listen or they come to me wanting to vent and wanting me to coddle them and when I want to give them advice instead, they become angry.
I guess that I just want everyone else to grow up with me. Not because I’m super controlling. Not because I think it’s unfair but because I know it will do them good to own their feelings and take responsibility for their situations. And because growing up feels really good even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Sometimes we get so caught up in what is normal for us, never realizing that our normal is absolutely unhealthy. We don’t realize it because it’s just how we think. We’ve always done it that way but sometimes that’s not a good enough reason to keep doing it that way. Now that I see that, I just want everyone else to as well. I know it’s key to.. everything.