If you've made the choice to remain abstinent - for life, until marriage, until the right time/person - congratulations. This can be a very difficult decision to make and, sometimes, an even more difficult decision to commit to.
In a society where sex is all but personal, one might feel as though everyone is engaging in sex and sexual activities or that it's abnormal to abstain. This could not be further from the truth. Although, sex is often used in the media (movies, music, magazines, commercials, etc), people, especially young adults/teens, seem more eager to talk about their sexual experiences, teens seem to become involved with sex younger and younger and sexual activities seem more varied than ever, what seems to be isn't always what is.
Those who talk about and engage in sex have become emboldened, thus silencing those who aren't sexually active which, in turn, causes sexually active people to become even louder about it, creating a catch-22. People, especially teens and young adults will lie/exaggerate their sexual experience in order to appear cool. But who's really having sex and who isn't?
- 80% of girls and 70% of boys are sexually inexperienced at age 15. - The Alan Guttmacher Institute
- More than half of teenagers are virgins until they are at least 17 years of age - The Alan Guttmacher Institute
- Sexual activity has declined among unmarried teens EXCEPT for those under age 15 - Teen Pregnancy.org
- 20% of young people do not have intercourse while teenagers - The Alan Guttmacher Institute
There you have it: you are not alone. In fact, you are far from alone or abnormal. Although the chances of becoming sexually active increase with age, most teenagers are not having sexual intercourse. More teenagers do participate in other sexual activities, however, the definition of a sexual activity varies from person to person.
Even if you are aware that others are not having sex, there is still pressure from peers and boyfriends and girlfriends to have sex. There is absolutely no reason to have sex unless you really want to! It doesn't matter if it will help/harm your reputation, if your boyfriend or girlfriend will leave you, if it will make you look cool, if it will make someone else happy, if you've given someone "blue balls," or if you're a tease, the decision to have sex is yours and yours alone!
Saving yourself for marriage or until you meet that special someone can help to make your first sexual experience more intimimate, enjoyable and memorable even if remaining abstinent is difficult.
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