Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Jan 18

This Is Why I Don’t Answer Doors

It’s cold, so I’ve been answering the back door for people more. I really don’t want to, but it annoys the fuck out of me when people pound on the door.

9 times out of 10, it’s someone who’s been locked out or the Fedex guy. The last time, though? It’s a doozy.

It’s a woman whose care has been stolen by her drug dealing baby daddy who is trying to visit someone in the building because her phone has no network or something. But that person isn’t home.

So she winds up sitting in my living room for an hour, calling a dozen different people on Ashe’s phone (because, again, hers doesn’t work), trying to get someone to come pick her up.

She calls her brother and baby daddy’s sister to complain and threaten to call the cops on this guy, who is most definitely on probation, and has taken her brother’s car for an out-of-state drug run.

I’m not making this shit up. I don’t even wish that I was because it’s such a weird story.

All her texting, calling and threatening does little, so she tries to get in touch with the guy’s PO, but it’s well after business hours, and I can tell by the sound of her voice that she doesn’t like the option and isn’t actually going to follow through by visiting the police station in the morning.

She finally gets someone to pick her up, leaves. But then she comes back because the guy who fathered her children — an error in judgment, if you ask me — hasn’t showed up. So she returns to my living room.

Meanwhile, Ashe and I can’t believe this is happening or how rude she is. She hasn’t introduced herself before using Ashe’s phone. She hasn’t apologized for invading my space, and she doesn’t say “Thank you, ” as far as I can remember.

Keep it classy, lady. You’re a reminder of who I don’t want to be.. and why I should just let people freeze to death outside.


Feb 05

The Strangest Thing Just Happened

I was painting my nails — trying to be patient because I wanted to layer two colors and both are tricky formulas — when my bra started to feel strange. The band felt like it wasn’t quite in the right position. I soon realized that my convertible strap had slipped its hook, and was loose. I was able to pull the strap right to the front.

Of course, I have — and had — wet nails. Taking off my shirt and bra to slip the hook back into the hole and put it all back on is going to fuck up my nails. I have no idea what to do, but I also am confused as to how this happened. I’ve had this bra for some months, and this has never happened before.

So strange.


Jun 09

Deepshit Horizon

In the event that you’ve been hiding under a rock, some major shit has been going on in the Gulf of Mexico. Namely, an oil rig owned by BP exploded, killing 11 crew members (if I recall correctly) and leaving a hole wide open on the ocean floor, from which oil has been flowing ever since. Known as the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, it has become the largest offshore spill in U.S. history and has leaked oil onto shores in Louisiana and Florida.

Now, I’m not oceanographer or bigwig CEO. I’ve never been swimming in the ocean let alone working in it. I know there’s a shitload of pressure 5,000 feet beneath the surface of the ocean but this shit has been going on since April 20th and every solution that BP has tried has been akin to a “band-aid over a bullet hole.” I know some folks hate that terms but, really, it’s true.

In the mean time, 500,000 to 4,200,000 US gallons of oil have been leaking into the oil per day. If you’re a fan of beach vacations or own land in Louisiana, you’re fucked. The news is even worse if you’re some ocean dwelling creature . The internet is full of heartbreaking images of struggling birds and dead sea turtles. It ain’t pretty, folks.

I’m sure we will come up with a solution. Some great minds have already proposed other solutions. I’m sure even if they are valid, bureaucratic bullshit will prevent the solutions from being applied as swiftly as possible and with hurricane season on our hills, this is not good news.

But you know what’s even worse? Even when we do fix this, it will happen again. That’s right. Experts agree that this sort of thing is more likely to happen because we are having to go deeper and deeper to drill for oil and that’s kinda dangerous. Now, the republicans say this can all be prevented if the democrats would just let them drill in the ANWR. And democrats are quick to report that if the republicans would sell all those damned SUVs, maybe this could be prevented.

Maybe. I don’t buy either debate but I do think that something is clear; if there are fingers to be pointed, none of us innocent. Consumers who continued to let car companies build cars that depend on oil? Guilty. Car companies who considered to build those cars? Guilty. Government that failed to protect consumers and the environment while allowing car companies to be all sorts of ridiculous? Guilty.

Fear not, though. I just read an article that lists 10 Things You Can Do to Help. From volunteering to donating, your helping hand will be appreciate. If you haven’t picked up a bottle of Dawn lately or seen some commercials, the dish soap was used during the Exxon-Valdez oil spill to clean up animals. You can register online to donate $1 per every bottle of Dawn you purchase toward the cause. I’m almost out, anyway. You can also help out if you are a sailor or fisherman, own a hair salon or see an animal injured by the oil spill.

It’s the least you can do, really.


Jun 08

Save The Drama For Your Mama

Pardon the cliche. A manager from my first job used to use it and while it annoyed us and the way he said it only made us suspect he was gay but I digress. There’s some drama going on with one of my family members and her husband which has escalated  from petty gossip to a potentially dangerous train wreck of a problem and while the original issue isn’t really anyone’s fault, the current state of affairs is so much more dramatic than it need be.

Long story short, the husband of a family member has a history of mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia, as far as I know) which, in the past, let him to being institutionalized. This hasn’t been an issue as long as she’s known him except that he does seem to have an awful lot of safety deposit boxes and safes. While everyone thought he was strange, maybe eccentric, no one thought anything more of it. Why would they? Why would his wife even think she needed to look into his mental history before marrying?

The past few months, he has really taken a turn for the worse, however. At first it was annoying and weird more than alarming. He would mention things like his family was plotting against him or someone was watching him. He was generally showing a lot of distrust in people. Now, he has spent close to $1,000 having his wife and family investigated – $1,000 he does not have as his health has recently taken a turn for the worse and medical bills are forcing him to file bankruptcy. He goes back and forth, multiple times a day, about whether or not he wants to stay married to his wife. One minute he hates her, the next he wants to buy a house in California. He follows his wife when she visits friends and family and photographs the places she goes. He has acquired somewhere in the vicinity of 8 guns, with ammunition, and even went to far as to try to convince his wife that she needs to put her fingerprints on one of those guns.

It’s unclear whether he was medicated and it stopped working. Or perhaps he stopped taking his medication. There’s also the possibility that he has been fine without his medication for some time and it’s just now become an issue. It could easily have been trigger with his health going downhill.  Either way, while he is acting in a disturbing manner – even scary, I don’t know that it’s his fault. It’s not her fault but she has certainly be reacting in a strange way. At first, she just bitched, making a big fuss but doing nothing. In fact, she bitched for months until someone forced her to call his doctor and the police – both of whom told her they could do nothing at the time.

With the most recent turn of events (the gun/fingerprints comment), she called the police once more and they removed all the firearms from her house so she  could pick them up at the police station and take them someplace her husband cannot access them. She had no idea how many guns were in her house  and considering as she has been spending much time at my mother’s, this worries the hell out of me.

My bone here, is that it never had to go this far. It’s not her fault, of course, but instead of bitching for months she could have done something. It looks like the only feasible option would be to contact his family and have him committed but that certainly seems like the best option for everyone involved. In fact, it could even potentially result in him getting “better” or medicated and their marriage being saved. But she didn’t do that. Instead, she bitched and and slept with some guy.

I don’t know. I wouldn’t be happy if the same thing happened with Ryan but my concern would be dealing with it, for both of our sakes, rather than bitching or cheating. The fact is, no one should have to deal with that but mental illness is a reality we cannot escape; we can only hope to deal with it and by avoiding the heart of the issue, she has caused more drama and damage than ever had to arise from this all. My family doesn’t need that and my sister certainly doesn’t need to be involved in that.

My life doesn’t have a ton of drama and there’s a reason. I don’t let it. Period. It’s really as easy as that. Drop the situations and people who bring drama. Don’t do stupid things. Think before you at or speak. Don’t talk behind other people’s backs. Don’t piss people off just because.  Don’t do anything without good reason. Don’t do drugs. Don’t be a crack whore. Don’t mess with the authorities. Deal with issues that arise, instead of ignoring them. To sum it up: certain people and things will lead to drama; avoid them. If you complain about the drama all the time but allow it into your life, you’re an idiot.


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