Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Feb 23


I’m in San Antonio now, staying with a friend, and relieved to be away from the stress and drama of home. I enjoyed some warmer weather the first day or so but today is a bit cooler and we’ve even seen some flakes. Of course, it’s nothing I can’t handle and I took a nice walk today, the first long and leisurely walk I’ve had in some time. I definitely feel better and not just because of the walk.

I was sad to leave friends and family, especially because I was no able to see (or see enough) some folks, but circumstances just were not enabling me to be the healthier person I want to be. Samantha is clingy enough as is but, as it turns out, I just could not handle that in my current state.

Plus, the fact that mom has someone living in her house and I had no idea, made things a little awkward. She has a lot of space but not a lot of furniture so I had to borrow an air mattress. I’m glad I was able to but it definitely was not the most comfortable of situations and people constantly made me feel like I was demanding unreasonable things and perhaps I was, given that I just decided to drop in, but I do not believe it is so unreasonable to prefer sleeping in a bed.

Mom has additional drama going on in her life, like everyone else I talked to. There was always gossip to be had and Wausau just seemed like a bubble keeping in the drama and crises and keeping out well adjusted-ness. It was frustrating from the start and it is easy to see where I developed some of my bad habits and it is good motivation to stop those habits and learn new ones (like being on time). I definitely am more appreciative of some of the differences I have experienced from Ryan and other people I’ve met since leaving home.

Home is a funny word. I do not think it is appropriate to call Wausau home anymore. San Antonio is not necessarily home either but I do appreciate all it has to offer a bit more (I guess I became accustomed to living in a bigger city, gasp!). For several years, home has been wherever Ryan is and facing the idea of life without him is a bit scary, especially now that I realize I do not necessarily want to return to the place I left almost 4 years ago. I suppose it’s all an opportunity. That’s the silver lining, right?However, my trip was not all a waste. I spent much time with Samantha and Wendy and was even able to see Ashley while she is in transit to their next duty station. I had a blast with my aunt and cousin, enjoyed some local food, and got to see the seasons changing which is something San Antonio definitely lacks. The wrap things up, Wendy and I drove to Appleton on my last full day to visit the history Museum (which has a Houdini feature), an occult-y store and the mall. We ate in a cute little pub which is supposedly haunted and enjoyed wandering around downtown. The day ended on a good note as we pulled into town with the Numa Numa song playing in the background. You can’t ask for much more than that.

I’ve taken some time to relax and unwind which was definitely needed after my trip, even though it was shorter than I had planned and now I am just taking one day at a time.

Mar 02

Down the rabbit hole

Last night, Wendy and I headed out to a local bar/venue known as the White Rabbit. We saw 3 bands play before heading out. Toward the end, we could definitely tell which was the local favourite and there was some talent to be seen but the bar itself was a little lame. All drinks were prebottled and just sitting in refrigerators to sell. If you wanted something non-alcoholic, there were vending machines outside. How odd, no? Still it was an interesting experience.

Dec 05

Here I Am

Back home. I awoke yesterday long before the sun would be up after too few hours of sleep. Not to mention late. I had enough time to hop in the shower, pack up the rest of my things and we were off to the airport. Samantha’s coat and snow pants were pulled over her fuzzy Spongebob pajamas and during the course of the ride, she dozed a bit and held onto my arm the whole time.

It was only 9 days and it went amazingly fast. On the other hand, most of those days Samantha did not have school and she was plastered to my side. I felt suffocated by the time I left. Still, seeing the tears on her pudgy little face in the airport made me cry as well.

On the other hand, I had an adorable little kitty to go home to and he’d been on his own – for the most part – a couple of days since Ryan left. I missed my kitty terribly yet part of me wondered why I should go home when no one would be there.

I felt more at home with the colder weather and it snowed a bit the last few days. It definitely felt more like winter weather and it didn’t seem so strange to hear Christmas music. Nevertheless, it was cold and I knew the weather in San Antonio would be much more enjoyable.

I enjoyed seeing almost all of my family and friends, some of whom I had not seen for years. We hung out and went out and I got to know a few new people as well. However, my time there was so packed with acitivities that I felt really tense by the time I needed to leave.

I was exhausted and slept a bit on the plane back. Both physically and emotionally, I was ready to return home. But after I entered the door, it wasn’t long before I was heading back out to check the mail, open packages and return to unpack my bags. I checked e-mail and completed tasks that had been put on the back burner for over a week. All in all, I didn’t head to sleep until after midnight – over 7 hours after I had headed home.

And I suppose the best way to sum up my return home is that I was conflicted. It was bittersweet, after all.

Sep 10

Rarities, B-Sides and other Oddities

This weekend we headed downtown and visited Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum and Louis Tussaud’s Wax Works museum. Ripley’s was, as always, interesting. Full of the weird, scary, death-defying, unnatural and other just plain stupid things people have either the natural ability or took the time to learn, it’s sure to amaze. Add some of the interesting people who are naturally different and you can spend a few hours gawking. Of course, since I’ve spent so much time watching the TV show that some of the stories were already familiar.

The “odditorium” was much larger than it might appear, perhaps due to unique organization of the building and we traveled through several rooms seeing giant skeletons, locks of hair belonging to celebrities like Marylin Monroe, shrunken heads, tribal tools and weapons, lots of art made from matchsticks (like a 24′ Eiffel Tower), torture devices and more. Toward the end were rooms with information about the Titanic and Mars which seemed a little out of place. Overall, however, it was quite interesting.

On the other hand, Wax works was a little disappointing. I suppose because it was smaller and, by its nature, there’s less to do but to see the statues, figure out who they are supposed to be and determine if you think they actually look like the person. Unless your Ryan, then you do your best Tom Cruise impression and jump on the chair next to Oprah.

Toward the end was a section of horror wax works and I was a bit nervous because I didn’t know if anything was going to jump out at me or whatever. Of course, nothing did and I probably wasted the experience a bit, being a ‘fraidy cat.

Before that, we stopped off at the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch which was good but not great. It was a nice atmosphere and we enjoyed our time there, even if we were distracted by our new cell phones which we had purchased the day before.

Saturday we’d stopped at T-Mobile and signed up for a family plan. I had decided on either the Nokia 5610 or 5310 online and headed to those while Ryan like the Samsung blast. The staff were very helpful and brought out the purple version of the 5310 for me, which I decided on. After looking at the 5310, Ryan decided he wanted one also, only in red. The copycat.

So we walked out with new phones and have been enjoying them ever since, for the most part. It seems that the phone can lag a bit and I am having trouble using MSN on it now, even though it worked before. Hopefully that clears up soon.

Besides that, I’m very excited about moving into the apartment on Friday and on Sunday our bedroom furniture will be delivered! Yay!

Jun 01

Let the good times roll

Actually, that’s kind of a weird phrase.

Anyway, here I am writing to you, dear world, at the ripe old age of 22. I’m not entirely sure I feel any different nor am I sure that I don’t feel different. I do feel a bit nostalgic and regretful as this year many of my friends from school have graduated college or, at least, the first portion of their post-secondary education. I admit that I am jealous but hope to catch up with when I am able to and things are looking good that I may be able to do that this fall once we are back in the states.

I feel as though I am counting unhatched chicks by saying this as many things are unsure yet but I can say with good authority we will be relocated to a base in San Antonio. It wasn’t my first pick, or his, but it will be something new and better than where we are for sure.

Back to the birthday subject, I had a pretty good time. I went bowling Friday night with friends. It was a very casual celebration with no expectations and I think perhaps that is what made it go off so well. Often, high expectations about birthdays often resulted in a very disappointed Cole. We followed up bowling by heading back to a friend’s house and playing board games.

Saturday, my birthday, Ryan and I went out to eat at a restaurant he did not remember liking. I remember loving the corn soup. Surprisingly, he enjoyed it even more than I did, I think. He believes they have a larger selection now which may be the case. I don’t know. Ryan even bugged me to go again today but my craving for Chinese had been satisfied.

After dinner we picked up pre-sale vouchers to be able to see Iron Man. On Monday we’d gone down to see it but hadn’t realized they were preselling and we weren’t able to. Because it was a holiday, nothing else was open. Gah!

Luckily, we got out vouchers, headed home for a minute and returned just in time to get in line. Most of the theatre was already packed by the time we got in there and I was seriously worried that we wouldn’t be able to find seats together but we did.

We both liked the movie quite a bit. It was fast moving, exciting and funny in many places. The background music reminded me a lot of the music that was used in Transformers.

We weren’t the only ones who liked it as, I’m sure most of you know. People were there who had already seen it once or twice and as we were leaving, people were discussing going back to see it tonight! But I didn’t like it enough to try to deal with our ghetto as movie theatre. Right now there’s doing construction so only 1/2 of the seating is available. As we were leaving last night, I saw 2 folding chairs that must have been set up for customers who could not find any place to sit in the theatre! How awful!

By the time we left the movie, by birthday was finished. I was rather pleased. I’ll need to do this again in another 365 days. Thanks to everyone who sent wishes!

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