Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Mar 03

A Balancing Act

I can’t recall the last time I posted in this blog, which doesn’t bode well for the success of the blog. I want to say that it’s not because I’ve been busy, but that’s not entirely true. There have been thoughts and feelings and goings-on that I don’t think belong in a space where you, stranger, can read them.

This is consistent with a gradual shift toward more offline communication and fewer and more trivial interactions within the online realm, even with friends I was once incredibly close to. It’s sad, but it makes sense.

As I look forward, there are a few things I’d like to do, and most of them have something to do with finding balance. for example, I want to read more, but I want to find the happy medium between novels and short story collections, fiction and non-fiction, so on and so forth. I think I’ve been doing a lot of light reading, which certainly isn’t terrible, but I should do some more novel reading, too.

The same balance needs to exist between socializing and taking down time. I find that I am socializing maybe more than is comfortable, so I thirst down recharging time. But when I have that time, I often wind up contacting others instead of really vegging out, which I think I need to do for my own sanity.

This leads to me wasting a lot of time with Facebook games and such, which I need to pare down. If I did, I’d definitely have enough time to do more reading and to both relax completely without trying to distract myself from other thoughts.

One thing I am struggling with is how I feel so completely done with being single. In the past, being single hasn’t been such an issue, but it’s been a while and I’m struggling with the desire to be with someone and my general loathing of most people. It kinda makes meeting new people difficult, heh. I’ve been considering online dating again, but it just isn’t the best fit for me.

Perhaps most importantly, I need to find the balance between having goals and wanting to improve myself but not being so hard on myself that it stalls progress.


Oct 20

Closer to the Self

i’m so sad to finish the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. In fact, I may be finished with the book by the time this post goes live. You see, I’ve enjoyed reading it, but I’ve enjoyed reading about it even more. Each night, after I turned off the Kindle, I drift away to a world where I am Watson, and Sherlock and I are solving intricate mysteries. There’s such a sense of calm about them, though. They’re not troublesome mysteries.

I can’t remember what I dreamed about in the morning. I only recall the vague ambiance of the dreams themselves. I don’t even think we’ve solved a mystery yet, but my slumbertime travel to and travails in London is fantastic. I rarely have dreams that feel like interesting adventures rather than worrisome chases. My anxiety is no more lenient on me during my sleeping hours than it is during my waking ones.

I’m afraid to leave the world of Holmes and Watson when my eyes are open and when they’re closed. There is something about this world that I love so much, and it’s something due to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s writing. I’ve seen the movie. I’ve watched multiple shows (Elementary is turning out to be quite interesting!), but neither of them leave me quite so smitten and breathless.

I had no idea the effect the words on the screen would have on me. It’s so rare that I am so taken with anything or anyone. I think I may understand how Irene Adler felt to be Sherlocked.


Jan 06

Turn the Page

Apparently, Dez wants to read 25 books this year or did last year or whatever. I am such a horrible friend. I don’t pay enough attention. Anyway, when I saw this announcement I thought “That doesn’t seem like a lot of books” even though it’s slightly more than two per month and almost double what I read last year. I can count all the books I read, more or less, off the top of my head.

I’ve technically read 1.5 books this year so I’m on a roll. I’m finishing one that I started last month and I’ve got two more on my plate so I’m doing pretty well. Inevitably, I’ll slow down at some point as my life is taken over by MMOs or blogging but I hope to be slightly more consistent this year than last.


Jul 23

Pee Ess

I finally finished the book I have been reading for something like 7/8 months! God! I’ll probably finished the second edition of Ultimate Sandman and start Neverwhere and/or the next novel in the Death Gate Series.

On the mention of books, I entered to win a signed copy of Neil Gaiman’s the Graveyard Book – but you shouldn’t (so I can win, duh! ;)) Giveaways are also the subject of one of my recent posts on Reviews by Cole.


Nov 22

Hello Hello

hearing: Lennon(music) and the wind
feeling: dirty

Just a little update. I know it’s been a while. I started reading Eragon as an illegal e-book a while ago. I figured it looked interesting and the movie looks decent, too, so it was a place to start.

While browsing through gobs and gobs of illegal e-books I took the time to download quite a few more, including much of the Narnia series. I remember reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe in elementary school but I’m not entirely sure we finished it. As it is a classic, I figure it doesn’t hurt to read.

We went to look for furry rodent type things at the petshop at the mall off base but they didn’t have anything so I might just find an old warehouse and steal a rat. Kidding, about that but I was a little disappointed.

We did, however, get this cute Nightmare Before Christmas clock. It’s an analog clock with Jack and Sally figures “behind” it and there legs move like a pendulum, or they would if I knew how to make them work. -l- I think I’ll make Rian take a picture so that I can show the world.

We’re slowly adding domestic type things to the place. I think that after I start working, I’ll start adding “womanly” decorative touches as the place is pretty bare as it is. That’s okay for now but, in the long run, I’ll want to spruce it up.

The weather has been rather crappy lately. It’s either drizzling rain or blowing insanely and while I don’t much mind the rain, when I hear the wind outside it makes it feel like the world is extremely desolate and lonely and makes my mood a little more blah than it otherwise might be.

I’ve been posting at forums more as of late so why don’t you waste some time with me, too? At all of these I go as anaesthetic.

Lavish JRI Tape Reservation Road


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