Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Jan 19

Merry Giftmas to Me

Christmas 2016 was interesting, not in that I did anything other than usual. Rather, I decided to be proactive and help people who wished to buy me things do so in a way that would be satisfactory for us both. They wouldn’t see the disappointment in my face when they took a stab in the dark.

The result was an Amazon wishlist from which almost everyone shopped (those who didn’t lucked out, fortunately). Perhaps because I made it easier, more people than normal purchased me presents. And I found myself excitedly trying to guess what people had purchased from my list, no less surprised and excited by the results.

My Christ loot included:

Christmas Loot

nerdy things and games and books, oh my! (For Christmas)

  • Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy BBC Radio Play on CD
  • Punderdome
  • King of Tokyo
  • DC Bombshells Coffee Table Book
  • DC Bombshells plying cards
  • Epic Mickey 2
  • $50 to GameStop, which I used for Paper Mario, Yoshi’s New Island and Professor Layton
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas Clue

I’ll be entertained for quite some time thanks to all these gifts, not to mention games and comics that I recently purchased myself!

I’ve started two of the video games, finished the DC Bombshells coffee table book and fell in love with the H2G2 radio play. I’m on the third phase (season) thanks to my library’s ebook system. Bonus: I’m marking it off as a book for my GoodReads challenge!

So, yay, me!

Jan 22

Sex and Video Games

For a while, I’ve jokingly talked about an analogy that sex (and masturbation) and video games are pretty similar. As I was thinking about it tonight, I became more convinced of my rightness. Grammar FTW. So I decided to sit down and blog about it because, you know, funnies.

In an effort to make this awesome, I asked a friend for ideas. This is the ensuing conversation?

“What makes video games and sex alike”

“I’m usually just playing with myself?”

So that’s a thing, FYI.

How Sex and Video Games Are Alike 

  • Sometimes you just want to watch someone else play.
  • They’re both better when you make noise.
  • It sometimes takes longer than it should to finish.
  • But, sometimes, you finish and wonder what the hell just happened.
  • You blunder through it your first time and hope you’re doing it right.
  • It’s all about finding the right angle.
  • Your hand can cramp up after a while.
  • You often forget to stop to eat or drink.
  • Sometimes you look ridiculous doing it.
  • The  Internet is fully of videos of it.
  • Sometimes you just know you’re not going  to finish.
  • The world likes to view  both as a man’s world — and double standards run rampant in both cultures.
  • Men are constantly creating fantasies in both, and these fantasies typically revolve around unrealistic portrayals of women.
  • Sometimes you just need to stop and shower.

And the most important reason that sex and videos are alike: they’re both better when I play with you. ;)


Aug 26

The Best Moments from Wizard World Chicago #wwchicago


Wolverine and Hawkman

Wolverine and Hawkman

1. Wolverine takes off his clothes

There was a fantastic cosplayer as Wolverine/Logan. I snapped a few pictures earlier in the day, but it wasn’t until the costume contest that he really got my attention. As he walked on stage, the cosplayer took off his leather jacket. This guy obviously hits the gym. The crowd applauded.

Then, he took off his wife beater. Now, some people may describe it as the sound of thunderous applause, but I’m pretty sure what followed was the sound and crashing of 500 pairs of panties hitting the floor. I was sitting toward the back half of the room and I could see his clearly-developed abs. It made me drool. Until that very moment, I had no idea that I was into Wolverine.

He picked up his things and began to leave the stage, but the MC made a joke about his abs being painted on. Wolverine returned and threatened him with his claws. The crowd went fucking wild.

2. Alan Tudyk speaking in his King Candy Voice

Now, I was excited for the Firefly panel, but my favorite thing had nothing to do with the show at all. I was previously unaware that Alan played the voice of King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph, which was a sweet and funny movie that you should see if you haven’t already. King Candy is an over-the-top character and his lispy voice is perfect for the image. I can’t find an actual clip of if online — thank you Disney — but Youtube is full of impressions if you want to hear.

Anyway, a fan asked Alan to say something in his voice, and he obliged. He explained how he had played a racist character in the recent movie 42, and decided to say one of his lines, which happened to be along the lines of “Say Jackie, how many of these players’ wives have you crawled on?” It was entirely inappropriate but absolutely hilarious!

3. Wil Wheaton responds to Robyn’s question with a quote from George R.R. Martin

Wil Wheaton plays a jerk, but if you read his blog or listen to him talk, he realize that he’s a nice guy. He’s the nerd’s nerd. He represents the culture as a whole, and the way he talks about community is heart-warming. I remembering feeling all teary-eyed while he spoke. If you’ve seen this video, then you’ve got a good idea what Wil’s all about.

If that wasn’t good enough, Robyn had the chance to ask his a question, and it was about his favorite strong female characters. He started to list them off at first, but then he changed tactics. Robyn didn’t like it, but I loved it! Rather than name characters, he said he didn’t feel it was fair to answer that question based on gender. My inner feminist regaled.

But. then. he quoted George R.R. Martin. I don’t know and can’t find the exact quote, and Wil might not even have been dead on but it went something like this:

I like to write women as though they are people.

The crowd went wild. I fell in love. The end.

4. Michael Rosenbaum molests Robyn

You might know him better as the actor who played Lex in Smallville. Robyn, the friend with whom I traveled to Chicago, loves the show and the actor. She had her picture taken with the cast, and she went to all of their panels. His panel happened to still be going on when I got out of SciFi Speed Dating, which is the most forgettable thing I’ve done in a long time.

So I find Robyn’s panel room and I look for Robyn. I cannot spot her, but then I look up toward the center of the room where Michael is, and I see him pawing all over Robyn as he responds to her comment about how the show just wasn’t as good when he left. Later, Robyn told me that he’d queued her question but forgot about her. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have walked in at the very right time!

5. A biker dances in the street

Traffic was horrible, especially if you’re not from a big city. There were a lot of times when we could’ve turned off the engine and got out of the car for a stretch. We didn’t, but one biker did. Traffic was at a standstill under an overpass, and he was riding next to a younger biker. The older one, who was all clad in leather and had a big Santa beard, was listening to some classic rock. I’m thinking something like the Rolling Stones. He may even have said something about how rap sucked. I don’t recall exactly.

What I do remember, however, is him getting off of his bike and twirling his arms in a disco-like dance as traffic waited impatiently for the holdup to finish. It made me smile, but it was over too quickly for me to get out my camera.


So, there you have it. These are the top 5 moments. There were other awesome moments — check out my Facebook album here — and everything was enjoyable and exciting overall, but these stood out the most.

Jun 08

How To Shop For Cole

I have been informed, on multiple occasions, that I am hard to shop for. Still, I run into things that are so obviously me every once in a while that I don’t know how others can’t look at these things and scream “Oh em gee. Like, I must totally get that for Cole.” Maybe they’re just not finding these things to begin with? I have no idea. Whatever. I’ve created this handy little guide to shopping for me so that the gifts you give me in the future don’t suck. You’re welcome.

Does it have LEDs?

Yes -> Looking good.

No -> Tread carefully.


Is it red or purple?

Yes -> Getting Closer

No -> Yellow sucks, dude.


Is it heart shaped?

Yes -> You’re doing well.

No -> Cole wuvs hearts )=


Does it pay homage to Mario, HTML, computers or other geekery?

Yes -> Hot, hot hot!

No > Meh


Is it fucking adorable?

Yes -> Good

Yes, just like Cole -> Aww, I love you.

No -> Go back a space.


Is it related to cats?

Yes -> Dude, just stop.

No -> Thank for not pigeonholing me.

Does it have a circuit board?

Yes > Cool

Yes, it is a circuit board -> Buy that shit now!

No -> Well, maybe


Is it under $20?

Yes -> Buy that shit.

No -> Spend less. I feel guilty.


Still need help?

Yes -> That’s okay. Try here or here.

No -> Awesome!

Aug 25

Every Day is a Story

Lately, I’ve been describing my day as an adventure, usually in Middle Earth. It’s part of my effort to “write every day as a story.” I’m trying to view my life as an adventure, to describe everyday–and sometimes not-so-everyday–events in an exciting way. I’m trying to psych myself up for my own life and view things with a light heart. Tofa took note of my Lord of the Rings references, and it prompted this entry.

Initially, I wanted to motivate myself to write more blog posts that painted my life as exciting and adventurous, but I just don’t have the time or energy to do that, especially while I’m busy packing and cleaning for a big move. So blog posts have been sparse. So have tweets, to be honest. You don’t need to know how much I am packing and moving and how exhausted I am, but–trust me–I am. One might even say that it’s a little more adventure than I normally like, which is also true.

Perhaps, in the end, this exercise has taught me that not all adventures feel adventurous or fun, and certainly not all quests are ones you have a choice in undertaking. A necessary adventure is still an adventure. Maybe?


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