Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Mar 16

Application To Be Cole’s Friend

People just seem to love me. It might sound arrogant, but people love me more than I tend to love them. I often take more time to warm up to them than they do to me.

And my first impressions are just god awful. I’m not kidding guys.

But I’ve come up with a solution! A quick and mostly pain-free way to determine whether a new person is friendship material. And perhaps even more!

And you, my lucky lab rats friends, can be part of the solution!

Just fill out this hand

So, there you have it, folks. A tried-and-true method to finding friendship in the 21st century.


Aug 10

Fuck you. You’re a fucking douchebag. I am better than you.

And I deserve better friends than you.

I can’t believe I ever though you were one of the nice guys. You’re not. Don’t delude yourself. You’re nothing like Collin. You’re not half the man that Robyn is, and she has no balls.

I would guess that neither do you, considering how you couldn’t even tell me that you had other plans, instead of moving in together. I can’t believe I thought that was a decent idea to begin with. People tried to warn me, but I always tried to see the good side. Here, three weeks later, I find out that you simply split the city altogether–without telling the person who was busting her ass to move and get you accepted as a tenant in the duplex you were supposed to share.

Nice, real nice.

But it’s not just that. Let’s face it: I was giving you chances time and time again, long after anyone thought you deserved them. When we made plans to do things, when you said you’d give me a ride there, you never showed. You didn’t answer your phone or reply to texts. I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t. I thought that a little bit of kindness meant you were a kind person, but it didn’t. And you have no right to call yourself a nice guy. You just aren’t.

You’re unreliable. You’re not there for your friends. I only heard from you when it was convenient. You were bored, you need my advice, you wanted a favor–and I was there. I was always there, and I as concerned for you as a friend. You never gave me anything of the sort in return.

Time after time, you broke a little piece of my heart. You made me angry. You made me cry, but I forgave you. I swear I saw the sensitive nice guy underneath, but I was wrong. He’s not there. There’s nothing there.

No more. No more chances. No more stress. No more blowing me off. No more running away, like a coward, with your tail tucked between your legs. No more am I one of the people who you will hurt.

You are the epitome of every man, no every person who has ever hurt me. You represent every asshole who pretended to be a nice guy. You can’t fool me, and I bet, given enough time, you won’t fool your new girl, either. She’ll see right through you, and soon she’ll come to the same conclusion.

This is it. Life goes on, without you, because there’s no room for someone like you in my life.


Apr 04

You’re Probably Cole’s Friend If..

  • you know the Konami code
  • you have read enough fantasy that you can actually form battle plans in your head to help the hero
  • you can name off the entire lyrics to at least 5 songs
  • you have been to more than one convention
  • you can drink an entire case of Mountain Dew without dying
  • you have a 5-star rep on Xbox Live
  • you void warranties on your devices before you leave the store/car
  • you can name the history of any comic book her or villain
  • you have ever written fan fiction
  • you can discuss cats–or Cole’s cats–for at least five minutes
  • You think Cole is the funniest person in the world ;)

You’re definitely Cole’s friend if you do dorky stuff that makes her smile.


Nov 24

How Far We’ve Come

When I consider my closest friends, most of them have been friends since high school (freshman year, with the exception of Wendy) and I still speak to most of my circle of friends from 6th grade, the first year of middle school. On the one hand, it’s great to know people so well, to still talk to them and to be able to reminisce. On the other hand, it seems like the bonds that held together friendships so many years ago were so much weaker than I now require. It’s difficult not to grow apart when we have all grown into separate people.

It’s not that my friends are bad people or even boring or anything sort of negative trait; we simply don’t have all that much in common and/or I just don’t feel the way about them I used to. Yet it’s so hard to say good bye when friendships seem to be so difficult to make at this point in life. I can count the number of friends I’ve made in the last 2 or 3 years on one hand (Dez and Lars being the foremost). I find myself biting my tongue and holding on to friendships, trying dearly to focus on the good times we do have together (no matter how limited) and memories made, ignoring the elephant in the room. Perhaps it is time to let go and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.


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