Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Jun 15

I Feel Weird

I suppose that Father’s Day is for me like Valentine’s Day is for many singles. I don’t have a father so I don’t understand the hype. I don’t know how to feel, so I impatiently wait for it to pass so I can get on with my life and ignore all the posts on Facebook.

Of course, more people have a father than a significant other — or so I’d guess — and I don’t think it occurs to them that their celebrations might exclude someone. And don’t for one minute think that I don’t want people to be happy. If you have a good father or even if you have a decent-at-best father and even if your father is mediocre but has sometimes done the right thing by you, then you’ve got more than I do. And you should celebrate it. Otherwise, you’re just an ungrateful asshole.

But I have none of the above. Part of me wishes I were angry about it, but I’ve had more than a quarter of a century to come to terms, and I’ve never known anything. Instead, I just sort of feel nothing where other people feel something, even if it’s anger at the fathers they got for being shitty. It’s strange to deal with holidays where you’re supposed to have all the feels and just.. not have any.

So I shall leave with thoughts, instead. Happy Father’s Day if you are one. Mine doesn’t know about me, but there are many fathers who cannot be with their children. The fact that you can be is not  guaranteed.

If you have a father to celebrate, do so. Having a father is not default in this world, and you are almost certainly going to see him die. So don’t waste time while you’re both here.


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