The Scrolls

Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Snow?!

I’m in San Antonio now, staying with a friend, and relieved to be away from the stress and drama of home. I enjoyed some warmer weather the first day or so but today is a bit cooler and we’ve even seen some flakes. Of course, it’s nothing I can’t handle and I took a nice walk today, the first long and leisurely walk I’ve had in some time. I definitely feel better and not just because of the walk.

I was sad to leave friends and family, especially because I was no able to see (or see enough) some folks, but circumstances just were not enabling me to be the healthier person I want to be. Samantha is clingy enough as is but, as it turns out, I just could not handle that in my current state.

Plus, the fact that mom has someone living in her house and I had no idea, made things a little awkward. She has a lot of space but not a lot of furniture so I had to borrow an air mattress. I’m glad I was able to but it definitely was not the most comfortable of situations and people constantly made me feel like I was demanding unreasonable things and perhaps I was, given that I just decided to drop in, but I do not believe it is so unreasonable to prefer sleeping in a bed.

Mom has additional drama going on in her life, like everyone else I talked to. There was always gossip to be had and Wausau just seemed like a bubble keeping in the drama and crises and keeping out well adjusted-ness. It was frustrating from the start and it is easy to see where I developed some of my bad habits and it is good motivation to stop those habits and learn new ones (like being on time). I definitely am more appreciative of some of the differences I have experienced from Ryan and other people I’ve met since leaving home.

Home is a funny word. I do not think it is appropriate to call Wausau home anymore. San Antonio is not necessarily home either but I do appreciate all it has to offer a bit more (I guess I became accustomed to living in a bigger city, gasp!). For several years, home has been wherever Ryan is and facing the idea of life without him is a bit scary, especially now that I realize I do not necessarily want to return to the place I left almost 4 years ago. I suppose it’s all an opportunity. That’s the silver lining, right?However, my trip was not all a waste. I spent much time with Samantha and Wendy and was even able to see Ashley while she is in transit to their next duty station. I had a blast with my aunt and cousin, enjoyed some local food, and got to see the seasons changing which is something San Antonio definitely lacks. The wrap things up, Wendy and I drove to Appleton on my last full day to visit the history Museum (which has a Houdini feature), an occult-y store and the mall. We ate in a cute little pub which is supposedly haunted and enjoyed wandering around downtown. The day ended on a good note as we pulled into town with the Numa Numa song playing in the background. You can’t ask for much more than that.

I’ve taken some time to relax and unwind which was definitely needed after my trip, even though it was shorter than I had planned and now I am just taking one day at a time.

Honest Scrap Award

What is an “honest scrap?”

“The HonestScrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award.”

Ten Things You Might Not Know About Me:

1. I named my sister, after Samantha Mulder.
2. I met some of my closest friends in middle school.
3. I call my mother almost every day.
4. I met my husband online.
5. Cole is short for Nicole.
6. I think of myself as Cole, not Nicole.
7. I’ve only ever felt the desire to have children twice in my life.
8. When I was younger, we lived in the country and sometimes I want to go back.
9. During my teens, all I wanted was to get away from home but now that I’m away, all I want is to go back.
10. I give good advice. Really, I do. So you should take it.

I present this award to the following ten people:

• Karen
• Anna
• Terri
• Nik
• Fruity
• Ashe
• Angela
• Helen
• Ashley
• Shelly

My mother’s daughter

I am. For a long time I didn’t want to be, couldn’t believe I was but I am. I turn more into my mother’s daughter every day it seems. I fought her music; it’s mine now. I play her card games, her board games. I watch her television shows. I call her on nearly a daily basis and even though she may not understand, she listens to my problems big and small. I laugh at her expense and she at mine. I am selfish, in part, because she was. I am a product of her and I can accept that now, maybe even embrace it.

Save The Drama For Your Mama

Pardon the cliche. A manager from my first job used to use it and while it annoyed us and the way he said it only made us suspect he was gay but I digress. There’s some drama going on with one of my family members and her husband which has escalated  from petty gossip to a potentially dangerous train wreck of a problem and while the original issue isn’t really anyone’s fault, the current state of affairs is so much more dramatic than it need be.

Long story short, the husband of a family member has a history of mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia, as far as I know) which, in the past, let him to being institutionalized. This hasn’t been an issue as long as she’s known him except that he does seem to have an awful lot of safety deposit boxes and safes. While everyone thought he was strange, maybe eccentric, no one thought anything more of it. Why would they? Why would his wife even think she needed to look into his mental history before marrying?

The past few months, he has really taken a turn for the worse, however. At first it was annoying and weird more than alarming. He would mention things like his family was plotting against him or someone was watching him. He was generally showing a lot of distrust in people. Now, he has spent close to $1,000 having his wife and family investigated – $1,000 he does not have as his health has recently taken a turn for the worse and medical bills are forcing him to file bankruptcy. He goes back and forth, multiple times a day, about whether or not he wants to stay married to his wife. One minute he hates her, the next he wants to buy a house in California. He follows his wife when she visits friends and family and photographs the places she goes. He has acquired somewhere in the vicinity of 8 guns, with ammunition, and even went to far as to try to convince his wife that she needs to put her fingerprints on one of those guns.

It’s unclear whether he was medicated and it stopped working. Or perhaps he stopped taking his medication. There’s also the possibility that he has been fine without his medication for some time and it’s just now become an issue. It could easily have been trigger with his health going downhill.  Either way, while he is acting in a disturbing manner – even scary, I don’t know that it’s his fault. It’s not her fault but she has certainly be reacting in a strange way. At first, she just bitched, making a big fuss but doing nothing. In fact, she bitched for months until someone forced her to call his doctor and the police – both of whom told her they could do nothing at the time.

With the most recent turn of events (the gun/fingerprints comment), she called the police once more and they removed all the firearms from her house so she  could pick them up at the police station and take them someplace her husband cannot access them. She had no idea how many guns were in her house  and considering as she has been spending much time at my mother’s, this worries the hell out of me.

My bone here, is that it never had to go this far. It’s not her fault, of course, but instead of bitching for months she could have done something. It looks like the only feasible option would be to contact his family and have him committed but that certainly seems like the best option for everyone involved. In fact, it could even potentially result in him getting “better” or medicated and their marriage being saved. But she didn’t do that. Instead, she bitched and and slept with some guy.

I don’t know. I wouldn’t be happy if the same thing happened with Ryan but my concern would be dealing with it, for both of our sakes, rather than bitching or cheating. The fact is, no one should have to deal with that but mental illness is a reality we cannot escape; we can only hope to deal with it and by avoiding the heart of the issue, she has caused more drama and damage than ever had to arise from this all. My family doesn’t need that and my sister certainly doesn’t need to be involved in that.

My life doesn’t have a ton of drama and there’s a reason. I don’t let it. Period. It’s really as easy as that. Drop the situations and people who bring drama. Don’t do stupid things. Think before you at or speak. Don’t talk behind other people’s backs. Don’t piss people off just because.  Don’t do anything without good reason. Don’t do drugs. Don’t be a crack whore. Don’t mess with the authorities. Deal with issues that arise, instead of ignoring them. To sum it up: certain people and things will lead to drama; avoid them. If you complain about the drama all the time but allow it into your life, you’re an idiot.

I Do Stuff

Life since we moved to San Antonio has been quiet. Well, that’s not looking at the whole story. Life since I’ve lived with Ryan has been quiet. This is not always a bad thing, although sometimes it does get lonely. I certainly miss my friends and family. So, when I was in Wausau, I made sure to see them and I even got to get out of the house a few times.

For example, Wendy I took Samantha with Robyn and Ashley and their little cousin to see the Central Wisconsin Children’s Theatre production of Willy Wonka which was super cute and a lot of fun.

I went bowling with Ashe, Sami and Sami’s friends which was a hoot. Anyone want to know how to get 6 people into a Saturn Ion?!

I went out to drink with Fernie and her boyfriend, ran into an old friend from school and finished off the night with Wendy, Sav and Sav’s boyfriend at a new bar downtown.

I played Monopoly until 3 in the morning with Ashe and her friends, got an industrial piercing in my left ear and had my hair cut, coloured and highlighted.

I intended to relax after my little break and have done so, for the most part. Today I went with my mother and sister in law to movie and a dinner. We saw Four Christmases which was much better than expected.

So, there! I do stuff!

1,000 Words

I am slowly-but-surely changing the format of all the pictures pages on the site (again). So far I’m focusing on pictures other than of myself and I’ve updated or create pages for Amanda, Samantha, Pets, Past Pets and Family.

I also just finished the pages for Tokyo 2007, Halloween 2005 and Ryusendo Caves.

Technology

I suspect – I’m not sure but I strongly suspect - that this may ring true with others. I am more comfortable with technology, like computers, than my mother. She tries her best, but we often have conversations like this.

Me: Mom, did you get my e-mail I send you?
Her: Yes, and I replied.
Me: Are you sure? That was like 2 weeks ago. Did you hit the right button? Do you know the right address?
Mom: Yes I replied I sent it to [email address which doesn't even exist]
Me: -sigh- Well, I didn’t get it. I’m going to e-mail you again, make sure to reply. I never get them.

I have no good theory for this. There may be electrical gremlins somewhere along the line between her internet and mine. Rian may have it out for her and delete every email she sends before I get it – I don’t know. Perhaps, every time she e-mails me, Thunderbird has a hiccup.

But it certainly isn’t her fault.