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There, I said it.

I mean, dating at 26 is weird because it’s the first time in my life I’ve actually done all the awkward do-I, does-he, do-we stuff in person. So there’s that.

And dating is weird when you’re divorced. I inevitably have to bring it up, to explain why and to detail my ex-husband’s role in my life (none). I feel pretty self conscious about that.

With Facebook? Dating is even weirder. I can’t quite say everything I want to say because even if the person I’m discussing isn’t on my friends list, someone who knows them is. Words spreads quickly in a small city like this.

Finally, dating is weird when you become romantically involved with people who have historically been your friend. I’d never expected to have to navigate that road. It’s just. Strange. It’s slow and awkward. It’s still fun and exciting, but you’ve got to be careful when becoming more-than-friends. In fact, I think this is trickier than dating someone who was previously a stranger. There’s just so much at risk.

So, you can guess what I’ve been doing from this post.

If you’re not familiar, that’s the term for Facebook’s algorithm. If you want to show up in a person’s feed, you need a lot of likes, shares and comments. It’s how it works. That’s why some pages disappear from your feeds, while other peoples are always there. I get how it works, but I don’t care. Unless I’m fooling around in a thread with my friends, I don’t want to manipulate it.

Why?

The people who want to see my Facebook page already do. They make a point to find it. They read. They comments. I smile. Happily ever after. The end.

People who have liked my page may not want to see what I have to say all the time, and they may have done so in passing. Maybe engagement isn’t what matters to them. I say this because I am one of those readers. I ignore 99% of what shows up in my feed because I just don’t have time for that shit.

And that’s the second reason why I couldn’t care less about EdgeRank. My blogs are my hobbies. They’re fun. They’re mildly profitable. They’re engaging to some, but they’re not my source of income. They don’t even take priority over my friends and family. I don’t think in blog and, you know what? I do pretty well with that stance. I don’t feel like I have sold myself out. I haven’t forsaken quality for quantity, and that’s important to me.

So, whatever. Concern yourself with EdgeRank. I won’t.

There is a local establishment that uses a profile rather than a page for business activities, and it’s so strange. I don’t understand who thinks that’s a good idea. I don’t want to befriend a business, but I may want to like it. This business isn’t the only one that operates like  that, so it seems that this is a needed post.

You should get a Facebook page if you are or represent the following:

• A business — of any sort. If the general public doesn’t want to talk to you personally, there’s no need for a profile.
• A brand — Maybe you’re not selling anything directly, but if brand recognition is what you want, then a page is what you need.
• A website — A website may be a brand or a business, but it’s also worthy of a page. Facebook even has a category specifically for pages.
• A location that consumers would “check into” — You can both have a page and claim your page on Facebook Places.

A page, rather than a profile, gives you a great place to post photos, generate buzz, host giveaways and advertise events and promotions. You can interact with consumers, and because multiple people can administer a page, it doesn’t matter who in the company is doing the interacting. When you post website or blog updates to Facebook, you can also generate traffic to your own website. Include your website URL in your “About” section. If you have no website at all, a Facebook page is an adequate substitute, but I’d advise against using this as your only Web presence.

However, a Facebook page requires that you’re active. You should post at least once a day and respond to any comments, questions or concerns your fans have.  You should completely fill out your profile and use your company name in the text areas. Make sure to use a recognizable name for your page title and claim your company name as the URL for your new Facebook page.

Furthermore, you won’t directly sell anything from your Facebook page, but it’s a good way to encourage visitors to click over to your website to see new products or deals. Patrick Healy has something to say about this.

I spend too much time on Facebook. I get alerts on my phone, too many really. There’s no good settings that let me see replies and comments to stuff I post without also seeing people who randomly reply to a friend’s photo that I may have commented on six months ago, but I digress. It’s one of the first sites I check when I log on to my laptop, and then I proceed to check it hundreds of times per day. No lie. Sometimes I log on, see nothing, close the tab and repeat the whole process because I forget that I was just on Facebook.

It’s ridiculous, but I bet it’s pretty common. I know I’m not alone. Dez tells me how she feel Facebook sucks her soul. We wait for clicks and comments and links. Somehow, those stupid red bubbles validate our existence. I’m no fool. I realize how unhealthy this is. I know if I stayed away all day and simply signed on to a couple likes, that would be okay, but the way I check constantly is not. I also know that I am fighting to open Facebook in another tab as  I type this.

It’s part of the Internet addition, but there’s something else with Facebook. The rest of the Internet constantly has new information. I can find facts. Play games. Write blogs. I can look at photography or even porn if I want. The rest of the Internet offers something new, and I only need to find it. Facebook is addicting because it’s personal. I wait for those alerts because I assume they’re about me.

You know the kicker, though? It’s often not. It’s those stupid six month old photo comments. It’s updates from friends that I don’t care about. Sometimes it’s game requests — which I just took the time to block a few. It’s rarely something  I actually want to see. That’s the punch line of this whole thing. I’m sure my brain reacts like I’ve taken a hit of something when I see the little red alert, but then it drops right back down when it’s what it usually is: useless trash.

You see, I’d kind of like to deactivate Facebook. I prefer much of the communication I do on Twitter. I feel like I have more useful conversations. Sure, they’re fewer and farther between, but I also say more with fewer characters. Something inside me suggests that more people on Facebook will see or care, like I’m signal boosting in a way that’s necessary. Usually, I wind up realizing how far I am from emotionally intimate to most of these people or heartbroken when my close friends don’t manage to respond in the right way or a timely manner. Again, not healthy.

Of course, my selfish mind assumes everyone saw and they’re just ignoring me or something else just as ridiculous. It’s not true. Facebook makes it difficult to see updates. Not everyone checks it as frequently as I do. Others might not feel like they can reply to a post, etc. I know that reasonably, but Facebook makes me feel so unreasonable.

As I was saying, deactivation is becoming more and more appealing, but it’s just not an option. I can’t deactivate my personal account and continue to operate the page for Reviews by Cole. And the interactions I have on the page, while sparse, are rewarding. The numbers keep going up. The people who fan me do it because they want to. The groups I’ve joined have been informative if not exactly warm communities. (Many of them are warm, but I have a habit of distancing myself). And Facebook has become a necessary part of my blog’s success.

Regardless, I will attempt to reign in this beast.. right after I check Facebook once more.

Last night was among one of the crazier things I’ve done in my life and, to be honest, it wasn’t that crazy for a lot of people. It was for me, though.

I was a little sad, somewhat annoyed, exhausted and a whole lot of angry. So I did the adult thing, downed an entire bottle of alcohol and posted all my angry, man-hating thoughts for the world to see on Facebook/Twitter.

This is not an apology.

I mean, it was annoying, I can give you that. But I am not sorry. I needed a night to not care. I needed some time to refrain from being the responsible adult. I needed to express anger and I needed to let myself feel sadness and I needed to let it all out — which I pretty much never do.

Luckily, I did so in a pretty entertaining way and no one seems upset with me. In fact, the general consensus is pretty much that I would be a hoot to drink with when, you know, I wasn’t full of angry hate. I think anyone who knows me even moderately understands that I am not that person. I have tried so very hard to be responsible, mindful, positive and strong in the past couple years. I’ve made great strides but sometimes I needed a reminder that I don’t have to be those things all the time.

Last night, I found support from some awesome people, who I would expect to be there, and some awesome people who surprised me by being there. They all surprised me by telling me it was okay for me to feel and act the way I felt and acted because they understood.

I also knew that I would sleep on it and feel better in the morning. Which I did, more or less. Some of the things that set me off didn’t matter in the morning light and some of them are going to make me feel a little blue for a while but none of them are the end of the world or even any worse than anything I’ve had to handle before. And I guess that makes me feel pretty good. Maybe I just needed to check out for a little bit but I’m awesome enough to know how far out I can go and able to reel it back in when I need to.

What happened last night won’t be a regular occurrence, thankfully, but last night needed to happen.