The Scrolls

Posts Tagged ‘defining relationships’

Leaving Well Enough Alone

Of course, this post on my shopping blog would be one that Ashe disagrees with. Of course, I had to post it when I was already annoyed with her. Of course, it kind of has to do with one of the reasons I am frustrated with her. Of course, we had to talk about it. Had to. How could we not?! Of course, I couldn’t stop when she said she was getting angry because, by that time, I was, too, and I wanted to be.

The result of all this?

I now realize I don’t believe in dating as a ‘permanent’ station in life. I simply view it as a temporary move between singledom and marriage – neither of which are any better than the other, by the way. It’s generally necessary (unless you’re Dharma and Greg) and, hopefully, enjoyable but it’s not a place I ever desired to stay in for more than a couple of years because, at that point, dating becomes a road block on my journey to marriage. I view dating as something you do until you figure out whether or not you can marry this person and then you stop. You either stop dating and become engaged or stop dating a douche and become single again. If I were to date for years and my partner were unable to show me commitment, I would feel strung along angry, if you couldn’t tell.

It just reeks of indecision to me. Indecision wastes time. Indecision goes hand in hand with confusion. Grey areas in relationships are never a good sign. If you can’t at least loosely define what the hell it is you’re doing, then I think you need to reconsider. It’s not that I think people should push for marriage to the point of being miserable but if that’s what you want, then you should go for it sooner rather than later. Because marriage is clearly defined. Singledom is clearly defined. Dating is not. I thrive on that definition. I have even less respect for casual dating, for the same reasons, but casual sex is A-okay by me.

This all really exemplifies my dislike for wasting time and not knowing where I stand, so if the goal of dating is marriage, then dating for an extended length of time is wasting it. Of course, I realize that not everyone dates for reasons of getting married but I honestly don’t understand other purposes. You may date many people in the search of someone but once you do find that person, shouldn’t you make the next logical step sooner rather than later? It’s just that, if you love someone and you’re happy with them and you want to be with them for a good long time and you can see that happening, why wouldn’t you get married? Why wouldn’t you want to show that to the world? And if you’re not all of those things, why are you still in the relaitonship? Furthermore, while it may never ne an issue, as soon it becomes one being married in the eyes of the law becomes a huge issue.