Sometimes I forget. I’m sure you do too, though. I want to be adult, I want to be in control of my feelings but sometimes I go overboard in such a way that allows my feelings to run me over, anyway.
Sometimes I just need to be reminded “It’s okay to have feelings.” After all, it would be weird if I didn’t have negative feelings at this time in my life. I need to remember to expect feelings, to accept them, to experience them and let them go. But I get caught up in not wanting to feel certain ways. I wind up berating myself, thinking that I am stupid and I should be beyond this.
Have you ever tried to make yourself stop crying by telling yourself how stupid you’re being? Yea, it doesn’t work very well.
There are people in my life who help perpetuate those unproductive thoughts, though. There are some who think I shouldn’t have feelings. They cannot possibly understand why I would be upset now but the truth is that they are irrational. I am just human. Alive. I care about my marriage. To have feelings now really is the most logical thing I can do.
It’s okay to have feelings.