How To Shop For Cole

I have been informed, on multiple occasions, that I am hard to shop for. Still, I run into things that are so obviously me every once in a while that I don’t know how others can’t look at these things and scream “Oh em gee. Like, I must totally get that for Cole.” Maybe they’re just not finding these things to begin with? I have no idea. Whatever. I’ve created this handy little guide to shopping for me so that the gifts you give me in the future don’t suck. You’re welcome.

Does it have LEDs?

Yes -> Looking good.

No -> Tread carefully.

Is it red or purple?

Yes -> Getting Closer

No -> Yellow sucks, dude.

Is it heart shaped?

Yes -> You’re doing well.

No -> Cole wuvs hearts )=

Does it pay homage to Mario, HTML, computers or other geekery?

Yes -> Hot, hot hot!

No > Meh

Is it fucking adorable?

Yes -> Good

Yes, just like Cole -> Aww, I love you.

No -> Go back a space.

Is it related to cats?

Yes -> Dude, just stop.

No -> Thank for not pigeonholing me.

Does it have a circuit board?

Yes > Cool

Yes, it is a circuit board -> Buy that shit now!

No -> Well, maybe

Is it under $20?

Yes -> Buy that shit.

No -> Spend less. I feel guilty.

Still need help?

Yes -> That’s okay. Try here or here.

No -> Awesome!