Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Sep 21

Don’t Force Yourself to Comment

Comment Bubble

What did you say?

Listen, every few years I join a new community who is all about comments exchanges or whatever we’re calling them now. You visit me and comment, and I’ll do the same. There were rings and clique and forum posts. In the olden days, this stuff all existed so we could all feel good about ourselves or maybe make some new friends. It was the most genuine form of manipulation.

These exchanges exist for an entirely different reason now. They exist because we want our “stats” to look good so we can get free shit. So we can host giveaways or do reviews. So we can get conference sponsorships or payment for ads and paid posts. As a blogger, I like all those things and I am somewhat concerned with my own numbers, but not so much that I want a bunch of thoughtless, spammy-sounding comments to get any of those things.

So when I see your posts in these exchanges and I have nothing to say, I don’t say anything. I don’t fake it. I don’t leave some comment so careless that it’s bordering on insulting. I don’t flood your posts and pages with useless words that make you excited when you first sign in but then make you disappointed when you realize my comments have absolutely no value.

And I appreciate the same from you. You see, if you have nothing to say, then there’s nothing I want to hear from you. When you have something to say, when you’re passionate or concerned or even when you disagree with me, then I want to hear from you. Because I know how much I hate seeing new comments that are just there for the numbers, there because someone felt the need to comment on 200 blogs today, and mine was just one of them. The thought doesn’t always counts. In fact, if you’re being thoughtless, then the action never counts.

Thinking about the post, not just commenting, is what I want. And if my words evoke no response, pass along. No harm done. I won’t ever know you were there. I won’t know that you clicked my link, and that’s fine by me. The opposite is also true. I’ll try to return to you later, and maybe I’ll have a comment, but I’m only going to press that button if I have something to add to the subject. This, to me, is common knowledge. Bloggers shouldn’t need hand holding. You don’t have to comment.


Quality over quantity when it comes to comments, folks. Don’t sell yourself short or out.

4 comments on “Don’t Force Yourself to Comment”

  1. Oh whew… It’s not just me. I miss the old days when at least it sorta felt like people were coming around and commenting because they were genuinely interested in your life… Nowadays, it seems like blogs are synonymous with advertising, and I get it… it’s a way for people to make money, but… Ehhhh… I’m not a fan.

  2. I completely agree! Back in the day when I had my own domain I remember these websites and you get a lot of thoughtless, generic comments from people who would never have visited your site otherwise. Back then it was a big deal to have 10+ comments on a blog post, but a lot of the time I didn’t even bother reading them as you knew it wasn’t going to be anything worth while.

    I see now it’s for stats for paid blog posts, etc. which is just as bad! Seems like a lot of hard work and fake comments to me!

  3. @nikkiana: There’s a fine line between blog branding and selling out, but I don’t think everyone sees it!

  4. @Kate: I remember that. 10 comments, and you were friends with many of them. There was a sense of community and wanting to comment. Blogs represented people, not brands. Now, you see these blogs now with comments that are essentially useless. I try to emphasize quality over quantity always, but I feel like the odd one out.

Skip to toolbar