Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Aug 15

Don’t believe all you read

Ashe sent me a link to this article on some Love+Sex blog on Yahoo (Who even knew Yahoo had blogs? Way to be hip.. and fail! LOL), entitled “5 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common” and I was intrigued. I thought it might be eye opening and dug in to read. That’s when I discovered it’s a complete waste of time.

I do believe a healthy relationship is one where everyone involved is unique, rather than a carbon copy of the other person(s). Plus, having different interests allows you to breathe fresh life into the relationship and gives you something to talk about. After all, Ryan and I are different people despite some overlaps in our tastes. On the other hand, if you don’t have anything in common or the right things in common, I think you’re going to wind up feeling awfully lonely in your relationship or trying to move mountains.

According to the author, “Your Tango”, the 5 things which are completely irrelevant to any relationship are music, “Intellectual Tastes”, friends,financial habits and style. Let’s look at this point by point. Good to know but, you’re a fucktard, okay?

I sort of agree musical tastes. I think it’s much harder to find someone who is your musical soulmate than it is to find someone with whom you’re generally compatible. It sure makes things, easier though. Ryan and I have been together 6 years and we still don’t have “our song”. His musical tastes don’t include a lot of love songs and almost anything I could suggest, he would veto.

Intellectual interests actually gets a pass. We both read and I would say that, right now, he is interested in more intellectual things than I am. This is one of those fields that actually provides conversation fodder.

Friends are a tricky subject to handle. When we were in Misawa, I definitely disliked that all of my friends were married as opposed to all his single friends. Maybe it was an irrational worry but I just don’t have a lot of faith in packs of young, guys when the married ones are in the minority. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I worried that his friends would somehow convince him to go get a prostitute or participate in some orgy. So while it’s good for you to have friends to share memories and interests of things that just don’t interest your girl or guy, it’s important to have balance. Your friends relationship statuses or personalities should not work against your relationship. If your groups of friends are completely different, it could be a sign that as individuals, you are just too different to make it work, too.

Financial habits are something that absolutely can contribute to the health or deterioration of a relationship and that the author felt this belonged in such an article proves she (or he) is on crack. Finances rank around #2 when it comes to reason for divorce and, if you haven’t noticed, the economy kinda sucks. A lot of people are struggling right now and if half of your relationship is really bad at spending money wisely, this can put a lot of unneeded stress on your marriage vows and entire family. Honestly, I don’t know anyone who can say “My Husband Loses Money On Stocks—And I Don’t Mind” without worrying about where the next car or house or insurance payment is coming from. I guess that, here in the real world, we all don’t have such a luxury.

To further prove his/her/its idiocy, the author says all matters of conflicting style can be solved with a trip to the local mall, so break out your credit card. While style is usually not the straw which breaks the camel’s back, the author could have said so many other useful things. Instead, it turned a valid point into worthless drivel.

Like the rest of the article.

One comment on “Don’t believe all you read”

  1. I tend to picture Dan and I as being Venn diagrams, with thirty or so percent of our circles overlapping. We have enough in common to bring us together and hold us together, but we’re still very much individuals with our own preferences and tastes.

    When it comes to music, we’re definitely quite different. He’s all about the hard core rock & roll, rock and heavy metal, whereas I’m into top 40’s stuff, pop, some r&b and some folk music here and there. Intellectual interests… meh. We pursue and read up on different things, and as you said, it makes for interesting conversation fodder.

    Finances: I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Finances are SO important, and a relationship is headed for disaster if it is comprised of people who are financially opposite. Hell, Dan and I are pretty similar but have a few differences in how we handle finances and think about money, and those FEW differences are enough to get us squabbling every now and then. I can’t imagine having totally different perspectives on finances… I don’t see that working out well.

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