I’m a little shocked at celebrity news today and I know I’m not alone. I know drugs and sex (as in, sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll) have always been apart of the rich and famous lifestyle (Remember Joplin? Morrison? Monroe?) but it seems like celebrities are even more extreme about it now. Perhaps they are just worse at hiding it or don’t even care enough to try.
What’s more is that most celebrities seem to be interchangeable in this drama. It’s a soap opera in which everyone willingly directs, writes and stars and few are wise enough to stay away even though it’s going to bomb.
It seems as though the celebrity news sources (tv/radio/magazines/sites) could simply write a mad lib and pick random names periodically to fill in the blanks.
In fact, I think I will.
In other news, last night [Celebrity (A)] was seen flitting around [Place] with [Celeb B] and [Celeb C]. [He/She] seems to be enjoying spending time with [a/an] [adjective], mysterious [man/woman/tranny] who was wearing the world’s most [adjective] outfit.
[Celeb A] is most known as a [professional title] who also does [profession] on the side. Recently [he/she] has been involved with [his/her] ex-[noun] and their [#] children: [names of # of children.]
It is rumoured that [Mr/Mrs/Ms] [Celebrity’s last name] has been involved in [scandalous behaviour] with [Celeb B or C] , which has affected [his/her] professional career by costing [his/her] [movie/concert/other event] contract for [date] at [place]
It’s also been compromising [his/her] home life, too. One source tells us she witnessed [Celebrity] [verb] in one of [his/her] [behaviourial adjective] outburst toward [his/her] family. The children have become [emotional adjective] and friends and family worry that [Celebrity] is “out of control” and that this behaviour will result in [disasterous event] for [Celebrity].
What will it be, [Celebrity]? Will you make it to your next [event/milestone]? What will it take for you to stop gallivanting all over [place] while [adjective (unhealthy state of behaviour)] and [verb].