Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Mar 26

On “Conscious Uncoupling”

So the media is all abuzz with stories about Gwyneth Paltrow and whats-his-face are splitting after ten years of marriage. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t give two flying fucks about the couple. She’s an airhead with no sense of reality and he makes horrible music. Okay, I don’t know her, but I’m sure this is the case.

I am sad to see a family breaking up, and ten years seems long enough that they should work on it, but maybe her awkward usage of the term “conscious uncoupling” indicates that they have. I don’t know about you, but I don’t consider most breakups to be done in a conscious or thoughtful way. They all seem so sudden — to one person who has no idea that her marriage or his engagement had been wrong to the other person all along.

So the idea that a couple has some together to talk about things that aren’t working and to try to improve them seems like a smart one to me — even if it’s alien to many people. It’s certainly in the best interest of children, who don’t need to see their parents fighting while they try to stay together “for the family” or parents who are fighting through their divorce because they can’t find an agreement when it comes to who gets what.

I think that people need to put at least as much thought into breaking up as they do getting together, and perhaps if people put more thought into coupling, they would be less likely to uncouple.

Everyone is thinking about the awkward wording and focusing on the issue through a macro filter. However, I think the more important issue is how we look at relationships when we think the idea of someone consciously breaking up with someone and being able to remain friends. Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes wonder what went wrong with a couple when they seem so willing and able to remain friends and people who care about one another. But maybe it’s better to cut your losses early so you can maintain those type of relationships for your own sanity, the benefit of your children and everyone around you.

And maybe through conscious actions and discussions, you might actually find that your relationship might be worth saving and that all you need to do is remain mindful during the every-day life. Living consciously really makes everything better, so why not “uncoupling,” too?


Mar 24

Happily Ever After

When I am happy, I feel as though it would be okay if the world ended in this moment. Because I am happy. I am home. Nothing more need happen.

I don’t want to top it. I don’t want to relive it. I want to stay in that moment forever — some part of my conscious existing in the ether even though my life has been cut short.

But it’s not short. It’s perfectly timed if it ends during those moments when I am completely and utterly happy. And I know that the longer I live, the further apart those moments will be, the greater the divide between happy and everything-else will be.

So I’d rather just let go.


Mar 15

Play with Me!

Let’s depart from snobbish posts and, instead, be fun.

Since getting my new phone, I’ve been enjoying the hell out of it. I’ve been especially playing games, many of which didn’t work on my old phone. I love social games, and I’d love if you play with me.

If you’re already my Facebook friend, you’ll see my playing these games.

  1. Songpop
  2. Dice with Buddies
  3. Family Feud and Friends
  4. Uno Friends
  5. Lucky Wheel for Friends

You can also play many of these on Facebook, so you don’t necessarily need a smartphone.


Mar 01

Love, literally.

Love is a constant. It is your first thoughts in the morning and your last through before falling asleep, where love will visit you in dreamland.

Love is sometimes relentless in its pursuit to dominate your every thought.

Love is in your fantasies and daydreams.

It is gentle sometimes, but it is also fervent, making it difficult for you to think.

Sometimes, you drown in love. Even when you are in the desert, looking for that love oasis, all you can think about is love.

It is not love if it isn’t experienced with passion that makes you feel alive — or on the verge of death.

Love courses, but it also trickles, shaping you as it moves. There is no one or nothing strong enough to resist love’s influence. No one is left untouched by love, least of all me.