The Scrolls » Ryan

Breaking Out Of My Comfort Zone

Cole — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 07:43:55 +0000

Last night (well, technically the night before by now), Ryan and I went to a WNBA (that’s women’s basketball for you!) game. It’s really not something we would have done had the opportunity not arisen (I got the tickets for free from a review network!) but I am glad we did. I have had a history of not trying new things because I get so nervous over being in unknown situations and not having control. I have been working through that, however, and try to remind myself that while the initial moments may be uncomfortable, that usually fades pretty quickly.

For instance, I didn’t know the layout of the venue but Ryan did and I was over my initial unease in 5 minutes (if it even took that long!). I thought about skipping out on the autograph session for that same reason but wound up going, anyway, and now my sister will have her very own Silver Stars t-shirt with an autograph! In the end, the perceived discomfort was far greater than the actual discomfort but I could have let that perception prevent me from doing something new. In hindsight, that’s a bad habit to develop.

Small Victories

Cole — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:24:35 +0000

May didn’t go out with a bang, big or otherwise. It did end on a high note if only because I have been working on being more grateful for what I do have. I hit up the mall on Saturday and got a new pair of jeans, a new game for my DS (Galactrix) and a bunch of soap from Bath and Body Works. Rather than being stressful, the trip to the mall was quite enjoyable despite the influx of shoppers for Memorial Day sales. To add to that, I walked into a dressing room with 2 sizes of jeans and only had to try on the smaller one.

May was my first full month working for Demand Studios and I got a good feel for it. I’ve definitely improved and have a better feel for the site.

I got a lovely birthday call, shortly after midnight, from Dez and Ryan and I hit up iHop in the wee morning hours of my birthday. My Facebook was full of well wishes and I got cards in the mail, unexpectedly. I honestly don’t even expect cards anymore so it’s always nice!

I feel like May was a perfect example of lowing your standards a bit and being pleasantly surprised by the world. In fact, it was the best month this year.

In Which Cole Talks About Ryan

Cole — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:34:21 +0000

Monday, Ryan went in to the dentist and, by the time he left, had an appointment for Tuesday to have his wisdom teeth pulled. Talk about short notice but it was the only open slot if Ryan wanted to have it done before leaving the Air Force. I wasn’t super excited about driving back or waiting while he was in oral surgery but I did and survived the drive with no major mishaps. While waiting, I dived into another book and finished 150 pages. A good chunk, if I do say so myself.

After returning home, Ryan was plenty silly and using his gauze-stuffed mouth to say ridiculous things to make me laugh. He napped during the afternoon and goes back to work on Saturday. He keeps saying things like “There’s just so much room in my mouth now; I feel like I can take on the world.” I don’t understand but be careful, mmkay?

Anyway, I think I had more to say but I guess not. Tune in next time!

Give Me a Break

Cole — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:49:58 +0000

As I sit here, eating warmed up apple pie (store bought and new ice cream but still good), I am quite warm. I just showered, put on pants and did dishes before the pie so you can see why. If I were not, I would grab a blanket while typing on the comp or lying on the couch and my chills would be over. Not so, says Ryan, the boy who registered for a free Snuggie some time ago. I guess it has been not 6 to 8 weeks yet so he spends all his time bothering me about how difficult life is without his Snuggie. Yea, right. Give me a break. Blankets do not need manuals and your hoodie is on the bedroom floor where it lives all “winter” long, thank-you-very-much.

I am against the very idea of the Snuggie because it’s ridiculously unnecessary and, even if you somehow couldn’t function without a blanket with sleeves, it’s essentially a backwards robe so walk to your bathroom, grab a robe and put it on backwards. Tada! It’s amazing, I know. So I am rather ashamed that my own husband has betrayed me, forsaken me for a Snuggie. I’ll have my revenge. I will!

Call it what you will..

Cole — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:13:24 +0000

Intuition, nosy-ness, being observant or just a creative thinker but I don’t like to ask too many questions. I like to know how stuff works and, so, I just figure it out. I look for resources, if they exist, or I just sort of fudge my way through a learning process. There’s a lot of trial and error and sometimes it just isn’t pretty but, at the end of the day, when I’ve done it by myself I feel such a sense of accomplishment!

Overall, I’m pretty independent in this way and I am so used to just figuring stuff out that I am somewhat taken aback when people need things explained to them. Ryan is like that. He asks questions and he needs to be told things in a very straight-forward and detailed manner, sometimes. It can try my patience and, maybe it shouldn’t, but it’s so easy to forget that others work in a different way than I do. Why is that?

A Day at the Park

Cole — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:25:47 +0000

I love Halloween. It speaks to the kid in me, I guess and I love the dark overtones. I love doing things and being with people but since there aren’t so many people I know here, I was a little down in the dumps yesterday morning. I had suggested we go to Six Flags which is right in San Antonio because Ryan had been wanting to go since before we moved here. But we were both kind of mopey and it took a while before we decided to go but we went and we did stuff.

We went on a few rides, including one that seemed to break while we were on it, a few that messed with out centers of gravity and even a Scooby Doo ghost blastin’ ride. The lines kind of sucked but I don’t think it was quite as full as I expected it to be.

It also wasn’t quite as festive as I would’ve liked. Places were decorated, there were haunted mansions and tombstones set up and we even caught some zombie dancing in the street (to “Thriller”, of course) but it wasn’t entirely spooky.

There were a handful of visitors who dressed up, mostly the kids and that was cute. There were more Batgirls than I could count and I even saw some Marios and a Luigi.. but I also saw a lot of people whose costumes barely counted as decent to be seen in public which makes me a bit sad. I mean, I’m all for a sexy costume but it can completely be done without looking like a hooker, you know? Especially when I’m looking at young girls and teenagers with their parents and I am flabbergasted that mom and dad thinks that is okay even if it’s a costume. I mean, Halloween doesn’t have to be “Dress Like a Slut day” or, at the very least, save it for when the sun goes down.

Ryan wanted to see more superhero/Batman stuff and I wanted to see more characters (there were none actually wandering the park) but he got a Justice League magnet and won me a stuffed Scooby. We bought an uber soft Scooby pillow, too, and there’s a caramel apple waiting for me today.

It definitely was smaller than I expected and a group would’ve been cool, too. But, overall, we had fun.

Going Gruene

Cole — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:08:56 +0000

To Gruene, Texas that is. We woke up early on Tuesday so we headed out to Gruene. I think I blogged about it last time but it’s a little historic town, northeast of San Antonio and we enjoyed it. We actually intended to buy some candles because they made some really neat ones but the shop which we bought them at was closed. We still bought a couple things, had lunch and generally enjoyed our time there. On the way back, we headed to a cupcake shop in San Antonio (red velvet for me, chocolate for him) and came home to find out mail problem seems to be solved. Finally! I had 4 or so packages waiting for me and I’m sure Etsy and Ebay sellers were more than anxious for me to leave them feedback. So, sorry about that, not my fault!

We intended to finish off the night with NCIS but Samantha called and, because I’m so awesome, everyone wanted a piece of me and there was drama. It was eventful and productive, overall, though. I hope we have more cool-ish days like that so we can do stuff.

Settling In

Cole — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:21:47 +0000

..is what we’re doing. And that’s okay. Annoying video game sounds and Ryan laughing at stupid shit online are much preferred to crap quality phone calls from him across the world (however, I noticed a direct correlation between the stupidity of shit I missed about him and how long he was gone). So he’s back to video games and making fun of people, I’m back to computer time and we’re both playing with the cats and playing Monopoly on Pogo.

We took the time to buy a new car – a 2002 Dodge Neon in red – which probably isn’t as awesome as the Forenza was but is pretty nice and was affordable. Ashe thinks it’s cute and I’m inclined to agree but Ryan is all “NO RAWR NO CUTENESS I’M A MAN GRR.”

Although happy to have him back I wasn’t able to be nearly as omgexcited as I would have liked to be, due to all the crap that surrounded his homecoming. It’s so hard to be happy when you’re something of a perfectionist, eh?

Phantom was pretty damned excited and spent the first few days bugging the shit out of Ryan but maybe that was ’cause Ryan was bugging the shit out of him. Of course, Goliath was a little ‘fraidy cat and spent the first few days hiding under the bed but he’s come out now and has taken a liking to Ryan’s laptop.

Also on the kitty news front, they keep knocking over an accent table I put in the living room and beating up the pictures of our grandpas on it. Not nice. This is only a problem, of course, because Ryan took out the boxes of crap I had placed under there so maybe I ought to just shove him under there, instead.

We haven’t really done or seen anything super exciting, though. It’s still ungodly hot out so survival has been key, really. I have noticed his tendency to turn up the AC so it’s hotter or set the shower at burn-my-skin-off hot. As long as I’m talking about annoyances, I was shocked to see my laundry literally triple in one day and my dishes have doubled as well. There are some perks to being all by my lonesome but I guess I’ll forgive him for putting a kink in my style ;)

Oh, hi

Cole — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:09:04 +0000

Still here? Me, too. Just counting down the days until I can see my husband. I haven’t mentioned much because, in some ways, the coming of the end almost came upon me suddenly. Not that I want to put it off. I’m so over this deployment crap.

And the being alone crap but I had a bit of a reprieve when Jenn and I (and Matthew!) had lunch at TFI Fridays on Sunday. We also stopped at Petsmart, oohed and aahed over the kitties and I finally got something to keep the kitty food in. Phantom has yet to figure out how to chew through/open the container. ;)

Also, Phantom how has his own Twitter account. >_>

I’m bad

Cole — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:57:08 +0000

And not like Michael Jackson – may he RIP. (Somehow I think it will be the first time he’s found peace). But bad at updating. I don’t to be one of those people who apologizes, whose only posts on their blog are about their lack of blogging. So I won’t. Instead I’ll talk about my last blog post.

It came on the heals of news that several of my friends are abroad for various reasons and, admittedly, I felt a rather sharp pang of jealousy. The idea of heading into the real world once more is frightening, especially in the current economic conditions. I worry that the Air Force is the only chance we’ll ever have to do anything and I don’t want to throw that chance away. Despite the fact that we lived in Japan, it wasn’t something I wanted to do or someplace I wanted to be.

In some ways I feel like my life plans are even further behind and/or unattainable because I married so young. All these friends of mine have graduated within the last year or so and are still single and that makes things so much easier. Of course, I would likely feel the same regret had Ryan and I not married. I guess there’s just not helping that but it still sucks sometimes to think about it.

Anyway, after discussing things with Ryan, we decided to stay the course of the plan we chose. It won’t be the life I left, but that doesn’t have to be bad, either. It’s a risk to take but it would also be a risk of he stayed in and we have no guarantee that any of the things which are causing us misery now would change. In my head, the idea of him staying in mostly sounded good only if certain things happen and, in reality, we just can’t control those things.

I don’t know if I feel any better but at least we’ve made our decision and I have a goal, of sorts. And if things really go bad, he can always reenlist and then we can say we tried, at least.