The Scrolls

Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

On Facebook and Friends

A while ago, I made a practice of deleting a person a day from my Facebook account. I have a lot of “Friends” there but how many of them are really my friends? Facebook is great because you can look up anyone, everyone that you’ve ever met but that’s sort of its downfall. With MySpace, my friends list was full of bands and people I didn’t know but, hey, at least I could pretend I was using the site because I wanted to get to know them. I make no such claims with Facebook. My Facebook friends list is full of people to whom I never speak, with whom I will never have a conversation again.

Perhaps it started because I simply wanted to have no pending friend requests. Maybe I felt guilty when I didn’t add people but now my friends list is full of people who were my friend eight years ago but one or both of us have changed so much — or stayed so exactly the same — that we could never have a friendship now, if we hadn’t already been friends. And that’s the better of the non-friend Facebook friends. I’ve got a ton of people who went to the same school as me but with whom I never had a single conversation who have tried to add me. I have people who have tried to add me who I’ve felt nothing but disgust for. I have people of whom I have absolutely no recollection.

Sure, people change and, yes, friendships can arise from surprising sources but Facebook isn’t one of those. I don’t talk to these people because of Facebook. It hasn’t facilitated much in the way of connections. It hasn’t rekindled a single friendship that I can think of. In fact, Facebook only connects me to people with whom I’d already be connecting outside of Facebook. It only keeps me up to date with people I’d remember even if there were no Facebook.

So when I say that a friendship a decade ago is not enough to keep you on my friends list. I’m not lying. It’s not. But it’s not unkind, either. We’re not meant to keep in contact with every person we ever met. Trying to do so will only weigh us down, perhaps more-so for those of us with anxiety. The value of our connections is that they are fleeting. They all cannot possibly last forever and, if we’re smart, that motivates us to make the best of that time and to be grateful for it.

Can I blog about you?

At what point in a new friendship is it okay to ask this question? Because I really feel awkward mentioning people in my blog — by name — if I haven’t received express permission and haven’t already been blogging about them for years. But these people are important to me and in my life and I want you to know about them. But no one in my offline life blogs and few people understand the significance of my blog or even blogging in general.

Am I fretting too much? Should I just do what feels right? Should I change names?  When did this sense of privacy and respect even come about the begin with?

 

 

My Friends Are Effin’ Crazy

This isn’t a post about Jacob.

Or Wendy.

Although it could be.

But no, this is a post about Christie. Wonderful Christie who listens to me vent all the time and always makes me laugh. Christie who said, hey, maybe you should just skip finding a man and have a baby if you’re lonely. Or, better yet, she suggests, go buy yourself some sperm and have a baby and give it to me. Cause I want one.

I told her she’s crazy. Because she is.

Then I dreamt about having babies.

Life: Complete

Although these last few weeks have been stressful and hectic, they’ve also been incredibly rewarding. I am eternally grateful for the time I’ve had to spend with family and friends and would like to think that I spent it well. I’ve done a bunch of new things that I’d never done before, things I didn’t really have a chance to do while I was married. It all serves to remind me to be grateful for where I’m at.

Two really significant things happened to me in the past week or so, however. The first is that I had a chance to meet James O’Barr at Comic-Con. For those who don’t know, he is the creator/writer/artist of The Crow, the graphic novel behind the cult classic. I originally saw the movie but it didn’t take long for me to acquire the graphic novel, even though it was already out of print.

I believe my copy is from 1994 and it was already pre-loved when I bought it. Since then, it’s followed me across the world and country so it’s definitely well-loved. I packed it up, anyway, when I accidentally discovered that the man himself would be at Chicago Comic-Con. When we set out for the convention center, I slipped it into Wendy’s satchel, even though it barely fit.

I present it to James O’Barr almost sheepishly. He’d just sold his last copy of The Crow: Special Edition which was all shiny and new and mine.. was not. I apologetically asked if he’d sign my well-loved copy and he said that well-loved it just how it should have been. I could not imagine a more redeeming, relieving comment. I felt completely validated as a fan.

I took a picture of his signature that’s on Facebook. Exciting stuff.

But it really gets better or, at the very least, remains just as awesome. On Friday, I finally was able to see Pat Benatar live in concert. We drove a couple hours to the Wisconsin Dells and piled into one of those formal-ish, assigned-seating theaters. We arrived when some cover band was doing a bunch of classic rock. Not bad but not nearly as awesome as or appropriate for Pat Benatar. We were among the younger people there which made me sad. I don’t know why other people don’t love her more!

Everyone stood when she came on stage and she started in one a popular song. I can’t remember which one, except that she played most of the songs from “Best Shots” minus “Outlaw Blues” and “Painted Cowboy” for sure. She also added “Sex as a Weapon” and “You Better Run,” both of which I knew but I wasn’t super familiar with. Guess who is now?

Even though I was sick, I sang my freaking heart out all night. I’m sure it bugged other people and I only got more into the music as the night went on. One thing I noticed was how much harder, rockier her music sounds in person. Perhaps some of the dynamic-ness of the guitar and drums are lost during recording but while she may sound poppy on the radio or CD, there is no mistaking that she is a rock goddess in person.

We snuck down to the front of the aisle to take some pictures. Unfortunately, we were off center so I didn’t get so many amazing pictures of her but I did get some great shots of Spyder. I appreciate him even more as a guitarist now. He would definitely rock in a blues band, I think. Pat also loves it: she was air guitaring most of the time. Her attitude indicated that she was having fun, she was informal and silly. All in all, she seemed super personable, even flirting with her husband a bit.

I sang along until the very last song which was an awesome version of “Heartbreaker” with some “Ring of Fire” mixed it. I don’t know if she usually does it but it sounded great. The concert flew by and, before I knew it, I was covered in sweat, hungry and walking out the door. We finished up the night with some fast food and finally hit up a Dunkin Donuts because Captain America runs on it, don’t cha know.

I thought I’d see her once and feel satisfied but, now, I just want to do it all over again.

I’ve jokingly said that my life is now complete and I could die happy but it’s sort of true.

In Which I Blog About Collin.. Again, Sort Of

Last week, I was arguing with Collin about rooting my phone, re-rooting, actually. I told him I planned on waiting because I knew the official Android update was on its way and Google it to show him. And you know what? It was all “TOMORROW YOU GET GINGERBREAD COLE” and I was all “TOMORROW I GET GINGERBREAD COLLIN.” Maybe I shouted, maybe I didn’t. All I know it this: I was tired. I was waiting for the management to show up for a previously-announced check, one that didn’t have me worried at all because everyone knows we only have two cats. 2. Dos. Deux.

And then Collin messaged and was like “You shouldn’t update cause it’ll make rooting harder. Rooot. Rooooot. Roooot. O hai, btw your update is out now!”

And so I grabbed my phone and checked for the update and, like oh my god, there it was. So I began downloading but it was taking too long so then I went and stood by the router. It still too long. I set my phone down and went and did stuff and, when I got back, it was locked and I realized this meant the download stopped because of my battery saver app. Fuck.

So then I unlocked it and didn’t let it lock again until the download finished but, lo and behold, the file was corrupt so I had to do it all over again. You guys, that’s totally unfair. So, during this whole thing, Wendy starts texting me on her break and she asks if the people have showed up and they totally hadn’t but by the time I sent “No” as a response, they did. The lady was in and out in thirty seconds–just like a man, I tell ya–and I was like “Wait, nevermind. They were here.”

So finally I decide to go to sleep but I can’t because I haven’t even had the chance to play with Android 2.3.3. I went up 1.3 versions, guys! So I let it install and freak out a little bit as it seems to get stuck on the “4G” screen but then it restarts a million times and zomg new stuff! I don’t want to write a review on it but there’s a few things I quite like:

• Different Sense buttons
• Skins for Sense
• The cool, colored notification bar when I’m on the phone
• Recent apps in the notification bar
• Frequently used apps
• Swype

I have a few complaints. One, it reset my ringtones and I’m too lazy to fix that. Two, I don’t know how to work the alarm anymore. I went to hit snooze and woke up two hours later. LOL Three.. Eh, I don’t know about three. I’m sure there’s one.

Anyway, my phone seems to run a lot faster. And I finally got my damned Google Music invite. This is awesome. I’ve never had a phone that was cool enough to get updates before.

Nice to See You

Birthdays are a great excuse to see people. So are movies. Geek conventions. Concerts. Graduations. All of which are on the agenda or have recently occurred. My summer is filling up quickly. Not in the “I’ll be doing something everyday” sense but in the “I’m doing a comfortable one or two things a week” category. Having time to see a variety of people without sacrificing the “me” time to do it–because my “me” time is important. I need time to at least try to wind down.

Oddly enough, I really hate giving you the rundown of “I did this and that.” Perhaps because I hate reading that. And I’m not so awesome that I can turn every event into a great story or post. Sometimes things are enjoyable but “you just had to be there.” My silence is not necessarily because of a lack of eventfulness. I laugh every day. My life is full of inside jokes. I am learning how to be social and trying to make sure that months don’t go by in between talking to or seeing someone. I am tacking classic books and movies one at a time.

And I’m still online enough to talk to all my wonderful Internet friends, to post on Facebook or Twitter, to check in on Foursquare–when I remember. I spend a lot more time forging connections to aid Reviews by Cole and sometimes I just don’t have much to post here. A week or two may go by before I realize that I haven’t posted. Yet, I don’t feel so badly about it. I always return. The people who matter do, too. When I need to blog, be it serious or light-hearted, I can.

Perhaps, once more, this has become my solace.

Poetry Slam by Collin and Cole

C: Lies
C: Pies
C: Meal of fries
C: Happy sighs
C: Sunrise
That’s it? Eyes
C: I have a surprise
C: Is that wise?
C: Let a blog post arise.