The Scrolls

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

My Sister Loves Me This Much

Yea, it sounds a little bit like a cup or a t-shirt but I’m not entirely sure that she wouldn’t buy me one. My little sister simply idolizes me. How much?

• Her favorite color is pink because my favorite color is pink.
• I had my hair cut so she had her hair cut.
• She plays games because I play them.
• She borrows my stuffies because they smell like me.
• And returns then when they stop smelling like me.
• She texts/calls/IMs me multiple times a day.
• She sobs every time we part from one another.
• Her hugs never end.

Sure, it’s cute. It’s also a bit suffocating. My life is so hard.

Nice to See You

Birthdays are a great excuse to see people. So are movies. Geek conventions. Concerts. Graduations. All of which are on the agenda or have recently occurred. My summer is filling up quickly. Not in the “I’ll be doing something everyday” sense but in the “I’m doing a comfortable one or two things a week” category. Having time to see a variety of people without sacrificing the “me” time to do it–because my “me” time is important. I need time to at least try to wind down.

Oddly enough, I really hate giving you the rundown of “I did this and that.” Perhaps because I hate reading that. And I’m not so awesome that I can turn every event into a great story or post. Sometimes things are enjoyable but “you just had to be there.” My silence is not necessarily because of a lack of eventfulness. I laugh every day. My life is full of inside jokes. I am learning how to be social and trying to make sure that months don’t go by in between talking to or seeing someone. I am tacking classic books and movies one at a time.

And I’m still online enough to talk to all my wonderful Internet friends, to post on Facebook or Twitter, to check in on Foursquare–when I remember. I spend a lot more time forging connections to aid Reviews by Cole and sometimes I just don’t have much to post here. A week or two may go by before I realize that I haven’t posted. Yet, I don’t feel so badly about it. I always return. The people who matter do, too. When I need to blog, be it serious or light-hearted, I can.

Perhaps, once more, this has become my solace.

One hell of a houseguest

I spent yesterday with my Mom. I figured, I could push my sleepiness until late in the day and both enjoy the company of my family while resetting my schedule. I sort of succeeded on both accounts. I hung out with my sister, talked to my aunt, caught up with Mom and her husband, chilled with my cousin. I enjoyed brownies–a new tradition, it seems.

And by the time 7 PM rolled around, I was curled up on the sofa, drifting to sleep, while my sister lay on the other end. Although I had fully intended to go home, I wound up crawling in her bed and sleeping the night away. This is why I am up at 8 in the morning.

I feel so silly. I know I entertained the hell out of everyone for my tired shenanigans but I also know I would have been more active, if I weren’t so tired. I apologized to Mom for coming over to eat her brownies and fall asleep. She just laughed and said I as funny. I did, however, wash her dishes and fold some laundry before we headed out this morning so I’m glad I could help her out a bit.

Anyway, there’s no post to this except to say, yay family!

Card Shark

If you spend any time at my mom’s house, you will quickly see that we play a lot of cards. There is one game that we play in particular but it’s too fast for Samantha so I decided to teach her some more age-appropriate card games. Yes, I totally logged onto my own site to remember the rules. How awesome is that?

Now, some of you may say that poker and black jack are not age appropriate and while I would generally agree, let me argue that she pretty much kicked my butt the whole time.

Her favourite now is Egyptian Rat Killer, a game I learned and played on break when working at Wal-mart.

Wendy and I shal be headed over there tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving. I hope that whatever you’re doing, you all enjoy tomorrow too.

Remember, Remember the fourth of November

As I type this, Wendy and I are watching V for Vendetta. We are a day off, oops. It’s actually the first time I have watched the movie. It has been several days since many of you have heard of me and I assure you that I am not avoiding you–simply been busy moving across the country, cleaning my former apartment, applying for a new one and making all the calls that are necessary when performing a major life transition.

In between, I’ve been trying to spend time catching up on sleep, catching up with work and meeting up with friends and family. To be honest, I haven’t seen many people but there is no rush now.

So how is it, you ask?

Pretty awesome. I’ve adjusted to the cold better than I thought I would have. I bought an awesome new coat. It’s actually been warmer than expected. I walked a couple places yesterday and it was quite enjoyable. People I passed greeted me and drivers even yielded to me!

The kitties were amazing. They weren’t happy and I certainly wasn’t when I had to hold them in the San Antonio airport while the TSA agents scanned the carriers but, all in all, things went well. My last flight on Monday night actually got in 10 minutes early! And they haven’t killed Wendy’s cats or vice versa.

So now we are just waiting to see if we can get an apartment and them moving her stuff over there. It’s a lot of stuff and I’m not sure if I am ready to move so soon. My body has just gotten over being exhausted and I’m still bruised all over. I shaved my legs this morning and it only makes the bruises stand out.

Anyhoo, I’m alive. I miss you guys. I’d update more but I can’t access the Internet or send/receive picture messages on my phone right now. I’m trying to get that figured out.

Don’t Die

I tell people not to die a lot. I don’t literally mean it. I mean, I kinda of do. I probably don’t actually want you to die but when I use this phrase, I usually mean something like “It’ll be okay” or “Don’t let it get to you.” However, there are times when I have very specifically worried about people dying.

When I was younger, I sometimes had trouble sleeping because I was afraid my mom would die and I’d wake up and not have her. This was probably compounded by the fact that my sister actually did die. Kind of fucks a girl up.

This problem really affected me for a short time. I had a difficult time falling asleep and when I would, I’d have nightmares. I’d run into mom’s room crying. I’d try to sleep in her bed. This usually didn’t work.

I can’t remember how or when this fear passed. Occasionally, I will still feel a debilitating fear about some subject. A few years ago, I could barely crawl out of bed because I was afraid that my life was too insignificant to matter. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn. That, too, passed.

I don’t feel particularly fearful now, which is great. I also feel significantly less fearful in my dreams–a fact that I can attribute to dealing better with my anxiety in the waking hours.

I’d probably experience a bunch of anxiety if you were to die. So, don’t die.

The Future is Calling

Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.
Denis Waitley

The future it unknown. To me, to you, to anyone. And this used to terrify me. I used to try to control things in the present because I feared the future would be something uncomfortable, something I didn’t want. Ironically, the future did turn out to be something I didn’t want. Only, the future was now my present and I was stuck in it, for better or worse.

So I did the only logical thing and I began learning how to appreciate what I did have: my friends, my family, my pets, my job. I taught myself to be grateful. I began to seek enjoyment from the little things, the things I may have overlooked before. And wouldn’t you know it, I became happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.

And there’s where I am now. So when I look at the future, I don’t fear that I don’t know what it will bring. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it will be more awesome than I could ever imagine. And even if there are bumps in the road, and I am sure there will be, if I can manage to be happy now then I’m pretty sure that I can make myself be happy at any times.

So if you want to know what I am looking forward in the future? I say all of it.

Because no matter what happens. Whether or not I see my friends and family soon, whether I get to plan a Halloween party, whether I wind up moving across the country, whether college happens sooner rather than later, I will be happy regardless. Because my happiness depends not on any person or any event but on me.