Decorative Flower
Her Realm
Jun 08

How To Shop For Cole

I have been informed, on multiple occasions, that I am hard to shop for. Still, I run into things that are so obviously me every once in a while that I don’t know how others can’t look at these things and scream “Oh em gee. Like, I must totally get that for Cole.” Maybe they’re just not finding these things to begin with? I have no idea. Whatever. I’ve created this handy little guide to shopping for me so that the gifts you give me in the future don’t suck. You’re welcome.

Does it have LEDs?

Yes -> Looking good.

No -> Tread carefully.

 

Is it red or purple?

Yes -> Getting Closer

No -> Yellow sucks, dude.

 

Is it heart shaped?

Yes -> You’re doing well.

No -> Cole wuvs hearts )=

 

Does it pay homage to Mario, HTML, computers or other geekery?

Yes -> Hot, hot hot!

No > Meh

 

Is it fucking adorable?

Yes -> Good

Yes, just like Cole -> Aww, I love you.

No -> Go back a space.

 

Is it related to cats?

Yes -> Dude, just stop.

No -> Thank for not pigeonholing me.

Does it have a circuit board?

Yes > Cool

Yes, it is a circuit board -> Buy that shit now!

No -> Well, maybe

 

Is it under $20?

Yes -> Buy that shit.

No -> Spend less. I feel guilty.

 

Still need help?

Yes -> That’s okay. Try here or here.

No -> Awesome!


May 31

Happy birthday to me!

27 feels… like that much closer to 30. On a bad day I feel like a complete failure. On a good day, I feel like there’s no way tomorrow can beat right now. I hope that my birthday falls somewhere in between.

I share my day of birth with three friends, two of which are pretty close friends. I have some awesome plans. People are coming out of town to see me. Everything is falling into place!

If, by chance, you want to get my something, you should have been paying attention these last few weeks. Here’s what you missed:

  • The only keychain I had broke after 9 or so years.
  • I just bought a PS3 with only a few games.
  • Similarly, I hooked up my SNES and Nintendo and have few games for those.
  • I haven’t seen The Lion King or Monsters Inc for at least a year each because I do not own those movies.
  • My pedicure is looking awful.
  • I’ve been super stressed. I sure could use a massage.
  • Both my domains are up for renewal soon.
  • I keep breaking my drinking glasses  (and my silverware!).
  • I need a nude bra.
  • I’m worried about alcohol levels for my party.
  • I’ve been having trouble making cupcakes out of rum chata.

Really, I’ve been dropping hints left and right that I didn’t even know I was. You haven’t been listening? I SMITE you. I can do this, you see.

It’s my birthday!!


May 21

Anxiously Waiting

I’ve been trying to plan some rather large birthday events, which I hope would be a smashing success. The reason I want to do this is simple: my birthdays in the past have so rarely worked out that I want to make sure this year is the one. To this end, I’ve planned three things. Originally, I wanted it to be four, but that’s just not working out.

gift-2677_640Since my birthday falls on a Friday, I planned Friday evening bowling that would be family friendly, including my own. After, I want to go to a bar where I’ll get free drinks with a friend who has the same birthday. Saturday evening, I’ve planned to have a game and drinking night at my house with people who were interested. I figured with the variety of options, I’d be able to invite people who might have trouble making arrangements for their children, provide a weekend full of fun that people would be able to work into their schedules and find something that everyone would enjoy. I pretty thoughtfully sent out invitations to the events via Facebook and, then, texted people to let them know about the event in case they don’t tend to look at them or missed it.

I thought that, maybe, the RSVPs would start rolling in, but fewer than a third of people I’ve invited to any of the events have said they’re going. Some people have said they’ll go to X event but won’t do X, which is super annoying. I got a whole lot of “Maybes” and even someone who RSVPed after telling me she probably couldn’t show up. Logistically, it’s a nightmare because I have no idea how much food or refreshments I’m going to need.

But emotionally? It’s a bummer. Some of my very close friends won’t be there because they’ve made plans. some of those plans happened before I sent the invite, but I consider these people close enough that I’m a little shocked and completely disappointed that they made plans on my birthday or after I sent the invite. It makes me feel unimportant to them, even though I know there may be other logical reasons and that these people might care in their own way but just can’t give me this one weekend out of the year.

Still, it’s hard to be positive because the people who have said they’ll show up are a group of people with whom I worry I’ll be uncomfortable around en masse.  One of the people who won’t be able to make it is exactly the sort of person who can diffuse that sort of situation.

Nevertheless, I know I’m being dramatic. I think it’s that hormonal time of month that’s adding to it, and I have nothing to convince me that I won’t have a good time or that people won’t surprise me. Furthermore, plenty of people have RSVPed to everything, which should make me feel loved. A single day — or weekend — doesn’t negate all my existing friendships. In fact, my birthday might come and pass and it’ll be a blast and I’ll forget all about my anxieties, which often happens.

I just need something to distract me until then.