Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Jan 30

How to Imitate My Signature

It has just dawned on me that I put absolutely no effort into my signature. It doesn’t look like cursive. I don’t even try, honestly. It’s been this way for a while, though, so I doubt anything will change.

The plus side? Anyone who actually forges my signature as a name is going to be painfully obvious.

In case you wanted to try it for yourself, here’s the 411 straight from the horse’s mouth.

Don’t write my name in cursive. Don’t you dare.

I would never do this. Try this, instead.

  • Draw a hump (or two, there’s room for creative license) to create that first N.
  • Follow it up with some squiggly lines.
  • Break up the first and last name with a space
  • Draw another hump or two for that M.
  • Finish up with some squigglies that end, more or less, in a straight line.
  • Pull it all together with a superscript dot somewhere over the first “word.” Alternatively, you can throw a cross (stem) somewhere over one of the squiggles in the second name. You must never under any circumstance do both. Got it?!

 


Jan 28

10 Reasons I’m In Love with Darren Hayes

No reason, just silliness!

  1. His voice is the soundtrack to my formative years (and often reminds me of my best friend).
  2. He makes a hot clown.*
  3. He has an adorable accent.
  4. He’s funny and had a great podcast. (RIP).
  5. He’s multitalented.
  6. Have you seen his face?
  7. He likes Star Wars.
  8. I bet we could totally make inappropriate jokes together.
  9. Because he’d be a better husband than my ex.
  10. I am totally just a teenaged girl inside!

<3


Jul 16

Ways In Which I’m Better Than Donald Trump

  • I’m hotter
  • I’m funnier
  • I have more genuine friends
  • I have better hair
  • …and a better face
  • I’m more honest
  • I have more compassion for other people

I also think it’s a safe bet that I have lower cholesterol and blood pressure and that my life expectancy will be longer than his.

In fact, as far as I can tell, the only way in which Mr. Trump bests me is that he was born with more money and has a more moneyed network than I was. Even with that taking into consideration, I still think I have a better shot at a presidency than him.

Sorry, Trumps.


Mar 16

Application To Be Cole’s Friend

People just seem to love me. It might sound arrogant, but people love me more than I tend to love them. I often take more time to warm up to them than they do to me.

And my first impressions are just god awful. I’m not kidding guys.

But I’ve come up with a solution! A quick and mostly pain-free way to determine whether a new person is friendship material. And perhaps even more!

And you, my lucky lab rats friends, can be part of the solution!

Just fill out this hand

So, there you have it, folks. A tried-and-true method to finding friendship in the 21st century.


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