The Scrolls

Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Facts About Cats and Printers

I have cats, 2 of them. I also have a printer, surprisingly, with 2 cats. I have come to a few conclusions about the combination of cats and printers.

• Cats are intrigued by printers.
• Cats are also scared of printers.
• Cats like to walk, jump and lie on printers regardless of any buttons they press, papers they knock off or mommies they discturb.
• When cats jump off of printers, the force may knock the printer right off the desk.
• When cats knock printers off desks, printers may not work quite as well afterward.

LOL Spam

Before I empty my spam on WordPress, I thought I’d highlight some of the more entertaining entries.

The author of 7and1.net has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: All light beers are awful Thanks for the info.

I wasn’t arguing anything but thanks! Also, beer in general is awful. ;)

Since making his octagon debut at UFC Fight Night 14, the San Diego-based fighter has alternated between wins and losses in four octagon appearances.

Octagon, yea!

I linke this post!!!!

I linke you, too?!?!

Holy smokes, good read, Man. I just happened to be on your site after a recommendation from Adam . Looks like I was here just in time to grab hold of this great post. That?s a lot of powerful stuff you?re sharing here.

I?ve read $47

Must be powerful if Adam is spreading the word. Maybe Eve isn’t quite so fond of my blog? Also, reading money sounds like a hobby I could really enjoy!

Hi, i’m still looking for Same Day Flower Delivery. Could anybody help me?

LOL, no. Last time I got flowers.. Well, it didn’t work out so well.

piano chords…

Thanks heaps for this!… if anyone else has anything, it would be much appreciated. Great website HOT Pianoforte Links http://www.en.Grand-Pianos.org Enjoy!…

Pianos really turn me on, too!

Imagine This

So, I sign onto Maplestory, excited to see all the changes. There was a massive update last night that lasted over 9 hours which ended all the November/Turkey Day quests and brought in a bunch of new events. All of the related items for the old quests expired, as is expected. Included in this was a belt my character was wearing which raised her stats enough to be able to wear her armour and weapon. Those items became deactivated. At first, I just noticed the armour and figured, no big deal. I could run around naked for a bit until I leveled. A little nudity never hurt anyone, right?

But then I realize that my weapon is no longer active and I have one on another character but because I’ve just started a quest which requires me to stay logged in for at least an hour, I cannot fetch it. So, now I am naked and weaponless waiting for the quest to finish so I can remedy at least one of those problems. Boo.

Give Me a Break

As I sit here, eating warmed up apple pie (store bought and new ice cream but still good), I am quite warm. I just showered, put on pants and did dishes before the pie so you can see why. If I were not, I would grab a blanket while typing on the comp or lying on the couch and my chills would be over. Not so, says Ryan, the boy who registered for a free Snuggie some time ago. I guess it has been not 6 to 8 weeks yet so he spends all his time bothering me about how difficult life is without his Snuggie. Yea, right. Give me a break. Blankets do not need manuals and your hoodie is on the bedroom floor where it lives all “winter” long, thank-you-very-much.

I am against the very idea of the Snuggie because it’s ridiculously unnecessary and, even if you somehow couldn’t function without a blanket with sleeves, it’s essentially a backwards robe so walk to your bathroom, grab a robe and put it on backwards. Tada! It’s amazing, I know. So I am rather ashamed that my own husband has betrayed me, forsaken me for a Snuggie. I’ll have my revenge. I will!

Thank you internet

I have spent way too much time on My Life is Average but I have gleaned some new knowledge because of it:

• if you put your headphones in your nose and play your ipod really loudly, you can hear the music through your mouth when it’s open, and can’t hear it when it’s closed.
• The Magic 8 ball comes with a warning label which says “Not intended as a substitute for a human pregnancy test.”
• Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
• “If you watch jaws backwards its about a huge shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach.”
• Microsoft Word puts the red squiggly line under “Ravenclaw” “Hufflepuff” and “Slytherin” … but not “Gryffindor”
• you can mail a banana as is. All you do is write the address and place a stamp on it and then put it in the mailbox.
• Apparently someone donated their land in the case that a unicorn ever needed a safe refuge.
• if you say ‘beer can’ with an English accent, you’re saying ‘bacon’ with a Jamaican accent.
• a pumpkin with the number 3.14 carved into it would make it a pumpkin pi.
• Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.

There can only be one!

Because I say so. Cast your vote or forever hold your peace.

Surviving Deployment Lesson #1

Learn origami. From left to right: Fox, Reindeer, Reindeer, Panda, Flying squirrel. Also, Hot Rot, Ravage, Megatron (I think?) and Optimus Prime.

I bet I could get really good at this.