Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Mar 03

A Balancing Act

I can’t recall the last time I posted in this blog, which doesn’t bode well for the success of the blog. I want to say that it’s not because I’ve been busy, but that’s not entirely true. There have been thoughts and feelings and goings-on that I don’t think belong in a space where you, stranger, can read them.

This is consistent with a gradual shift toward more offline communication and fewer and more trivial interactions within the online realm, even with friends I was once incredibly close to. It’s sad, but it makes sense.

As I look forward, there are a few things I’d like to do, and most of them have something to do with finding balance. for example, I want to read more, but I want to find the happy medium between novels and short story collections, fiction and non-fiction, so on and so forth. I think I’ve been doing a lot of light reading, which certainly isn’t terrible, but I should do some more novel reading, too.

The same balance needs to exist between socializing and taking down time. I find that I am socializing maybe more than is comfortable, so I thirst down recharging time. But when I have that time, I often wind up contacting others instead of really vegging out, which I think I need to do for my own sanity.

This leads to me wasting a lot of time with Facebook games and such, which I need to pare down. If I did, I’d definitely have enough time to do more reading and to both relax completely without trying to distract myself from other thoughts.

One thing I am struggling with is how I feel so completely done with being single. In the past, being single hasn’t been such an issue, but it’s been a while and I’m struggling with the desire to be with someone and my general loathing of most people. It kinda makes meeting new people difficult, heh. I’ve been considering online dating again, but it just isn’t the best fit for me.

Perhaps most importantly, I need to find the balance between having goals and wanting to improve myself but not being so hard on myself that it stalls progress.


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