ex·cit·ed

Some people get giddy with excitement, and it’s adorable. Others talk about their favorite things in a way that is simply obnoxious. Me? I don’t get excited, no really. I become passionate  about the things I love. I want to talk about them seriously. I analyze. In short, my fandoms and interests lack the sort of levity that enables others to be excited and fun about theirs, and it makes me jealous.

I don’t know how to squee with delight. I don’t know how to get super excited about upcoming events. I can’t prolong the happy feelings of doing something for more than a few days after. I’m just not very good at all at being excited. I wasn’t always this way, I don’t think. I mean, I was always weirdly serious, deep,  but I remember feeling excited in the past. There’s a few things that have made it difficult, I think.

• My anxiety flaring up in the recent years
• Others bombarding me with their own excitement..
• ..and subsequently removing any room of my own for me to be excited
• My self consciousness

Most of those are not very good reasons, logically, but I just don’t know how. How do you get excited? How do you psych yourself up? How do you make the feeling last? I don’t know