The Scrolls

Archive for January, 2008

Linguistics and Nomenclature

Names have interested me, the origin and methodology of naming things (also known as nomenclature) and especially as of late. I had a customer whose name was Cutlip not too long ago and I surmised aloud that someone in his ancestor must have a good story about it and while he agreed it would be interesting he did not know it.

Many names are based on ancestral names – Anything-son indicates that someone’s father was named Anything and common names such as Carpenter and Smith throwback so a family occupation. Ever wonder why there are so many smiths (it is the most common name in United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and the United States,)? Countless careers ended in Smith: Locksmith, blacksmith, goldsmith, silversmith to name a few, all of whom worked with metals in a smithy.

My own maiden name which I thought to be the rough equivalent of the German word for “short” although uncannily accurate to describe most of the people in my family, present company included, may actually be more closely related to the German name Conrad which means “brave counsel”. However, that does seem more incongruous than the previous theory. Though my married name is far less exciting simply meaning “Son of Martin.” Do you know the origin of your own name?

This interest also extends to a general interest in language and linguistics including pre- and post-fixes as well as word origins. This curiosity and the ability to understand the English language which accompanies it might explain why I’m rather good at FreeRice.com (a great site which donates rice to the poor with every synonym you correctly name).

Enough of my geeky love for language! We’ll return to the normal discursive programming next time.

Quiet around here

Not too much is going on. I suppose life has slowed down as snow has blanketed the Earth leaving everything literally and metaphorically quiet.

I received my bear, Jack, in the mail the other day. He came complete with an air hole in the box and a bear shaped chocolate snack. The box itself was even creative (besides the air hole) with the inside containing a board game, the story of the first teddy bear and a list of “Things To Do With This Box.” I must say I am impressed with the company. A Vermont Teddy Bear would be perfect for kids of all ages.

Jack himself is impressive. He’s a bit more stiff than I would like but still cuddly and his fur is soft. He’s a gorgeous shade of blue and his attire is impressive made up of velvet and brocade with intricate details on his cap (in the traditional night stocking), jacket and adorable little boots – all of which can be removed when you need to put him in the washing machine to clean (gentle cycle, in a pillow case).

I recently finished The Color of Magic, the first Discworld book by Terry Pratchett. Although short, it was really a fast read. It’s satirical and irreverent without being wordy, poking fun at many fantasy cliches which have dominated the genre for years. Yet, Pratchett uses some of these himself as well as some creative techniques. I’ll admit that some things we simply cannot wrap our heads around because they are so fantastic! Often, his style reminds me of the late Douglas Adams whose series The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has been a favourite of mine since I first discovered it in middle school.

The novel starts quickly with a great city afire (though Pratchett assures us it will rebuild as it always has) which as been accidentally started by one of the main characters, Twoflower who begins the novel by fleeing said city with his newfound companion Rincewind “the Wizard” who has actually flunked out of wizardry school and isn’t much of a magic handler at all.

The book flashes back to their acquaintanceship where Rincewind discovers Twoflower (and his mysterious sentient chest of Luggage), a visitor to Rincewind’s home city Ankh-Morpork (the first ever tourist on Discworld) and follows them on their coming journey which eventually leads them to the end of the world, literally.

Rincewind and Twoflower live on Discworld, literally a disc sitting on the backs of 4 elephants who themselves sit on the back of a giant turtle (gender unknown which is quite the curiosity to Discworld inhabitants). In such a world, direction is measured in relation to the rim of the disc (rimward) or hub (hubward).

Though they battle the original fire, common thieves, a soul eating monster, imagined dragons who reside in an upside down mountain with their quarreling family of royal imaginers, and eventually end up in Krull at the edge of the world, while avoiding saying the number 8 (which Pratchett also avoids saying by describing it any number of round-about ways) which is closely associated with magic, Octarine (the eighth color, that of magic) and all-things-generally-unpleasant as Rincewind repeatedly eludes the none-too-happy-about-it Death, they remain generally unscathed.

Or do they? I recommend you try this book out and see for yourself (as do countless editors, critics and journalists whose opinions of Pratchett and his works who preface this novel)!

The Adventerous Saga of Jack

Not so very long ago, a girl named Cole desired a teddy bear for a festive winter holiday known as Christmas. She searched high and low for a bear that was friendly and soft, cuddly and cute until she found her heart’s desire. Unfortunately, a horrible monster called Outofstock would not let poor Cole have her desire. Day and night it stalked pages of the internet, refusing to give way until, finally it was defeated by a brave warrior known as Instock.

Cole was elated when this happened and told her tall, dark and handsome protector of her desire and although he consented, he was far too busy with more pressing matters to fetch the bear. Cole was lonely and sad at this turn of events and it prompted her to take action.

Cole wrote him an e-mail:

Dear Sir or Madame,
My name is Frost, Jack Frost. I am blue, fuzzy and approximately 15 inches tall. Don’t let my name get you wrong, I can keep you warm on a cold winter’s night and I am a GREAT cuddler!

“Why is Jack writing me?” you might ask yourself! Well, I will tell you, my friend. I am seeking a new home, a warm, comfortable home with a loving family whom I can love and spend many long days (and nights). I want to be held and hugged and I want to help people when they feel blue because I know what it’s like to be blue!

If you know a someone who could use a bear like me, please click this link to help a friend in need. Your kindness will not go unappreciated or unnoticed. For a low, one-time price of $89.95 American dollars, you can save a life and bring a smile to someone’s face!

So, please, friend, click this link now! Don’t wait. We need you!

Sincerely,
Jack

Cole thought herself clever until she read his reply.

Sorry, don’t know anyone who could use a bear like you. Try craigslist.

He had outwitted Cole but she would not give up. She pestered him incessantly for days but his replies were only scathing judgments made on Jack, a bear who “stalks” and inappropriately “hits on” men. In jest, he feigned fear of Jack, wonder how he could have appropriated the e-mail address.

This play went on for several days until he noted that Jack’s stalking behaviour had further increased – Jack now had ahold of his other e-mail addresses and was sending e-mails threatening to visit him. These e-mails said the “bear was on his journey.”

Cole was further elated until he began threatening Jack. Jack would be destroyed and defeated before Jack would be allowed to replace Cole’s protector. Jack had his sights on Cole and was evil. He meant to sneak into Cole’s life and blind her by his cute and blue fuzziness.

But Cole knows her protector will be a good boy and deliver to her a lovely blue bear named Jack. Or else!

Forward This!

Dear friends and family,
I would like to invite you to check out Snopes.com. Snopes investigates and debunks many popular urban legends such as the ones found in numerous e-mail forwards. In addition to this, Snopes investigates fraudulent and email scams that spread rapidly through inboxes all over the internet.

So whether it’s a dying girl, a Nigerian business proposal, a lost child or a super cool image (promised after your send to X amount of people), an unbelievable picture (which has undoubtedly been Photoshopped or a way to scam (“raise money for X cause”) money from Bill Gates, you can check its validity at Snopes.com. And if it’s not there yet? Submit it and let them figure it out.

Unfortunately, you cannot believe all you see, especially online. While some causes may tug at our heartstrings or we may see things that show the best (or worst) of people and want to get behind the cause, often the story is far from what really happened (like the game telephone) and forwards are well honed over time, becoming works of art. Even if a story has names, dates and addresses which may seem real, the people often do not exist or, if they do, have nothing to do with it.

So please, if you must forward, do so with prudence. For all our sakes, please.

Heat At Last

Rian and I have been icicles these last few days because, apparently, the heater in the living room was stuck. I finally got sick of freezing to everything and forced it to turn up which resulted in a nice “crack!” but, at least, it’s producing heat now!

Validation – Helpful but is it Necessary?

Does validation really matter? I say, not necessarily. While it certainly can be advantageous, there are drawbacks that sometimes are not worth it.

When does it not matter?

When you and amateur
and
When i’s not impeding someone else’s internet

Does this mean all amateurs should ignore validation? Not at all. I believe there comes a time when all website owners should learn what validation is and how to do it. If a coder wants to implement valid code, more power to him. Accessibility, semantics, compatibility and standards are important to understand and promote.

However, I do not believe a personal website owner should need to spend hours perfecting an artistic layout only to find it does not validate and the desired effects cannot be (easily) achieved validly. A hobbyist does not want to spend hours working around or using “hacks” to achieve a look simply because the easiest way does not validate. Sometimes aesthetics are the focus and thus surpass validity in importance.

This is similar, in my mind, to an amateur ice skater who simply skate for fun or exercise. You would not expect her to be the best nor to have perfect form or know everything there is to know about ice skating.

She might be familiar with a triple toe loop and know how it works in theory but she may likely stick to simple tricks that are within her skill and effort level. She may also have less than perfect form when it comes to some tricks.Her love for skating may prompt her to learn the triple toe loop or improve her form in other areas but it’s not necessary to enjoy the sport for her.

However, if she wanted to compete, she would most certainly need to learn the trick and practice it often but then the purpose of her skating would change. As an amateur, as long as she sticks to her part of the ring, so as to not injure or impede others, and keeps safety in mind when it comes to form, especially if she is an example to others, she will be okay.

This leads me to my next point: impeding someone’s internet. If your invalid site interrupts another’s experience, it’s time to look at validation. Invalid code can cause freezing, lagging (as with Javascript), or longer loading times (when using tables or redundant code) and may appear incorrectly in multiple browsers (this is one time when validity is helpful when aesthetics are your focus) to the point where the website becomes difficult or impossible to browse and navigate.

Furthermore, one who uses invalid code is more likely to provide invalid code to others when assisting. The use of this code can cause one to unwittingly impede someone else’s internet experience. Anyone providing code should either provide only valid code or a disclaimer which states that invalid code is provided and explain what this means. (Yes, I’ll be checking up on the code I provide to see that it validates.)

So, is valid code necessary? Not all the time. Not when it’s more hassle than it’s worth but when one does not validate, one should proceed with caution.

Lawl

The great thing (there’s only 1? Yes!) about this internet is that it makes it really easy to read (and watch and listen) about all the funny (and stupid and generally unbelievable) crap people do.

I like to be amused, I do. This may be the reason I am amusing. No, I don’t just think I am; people confirm this on a daily basis (they really do!).

So it should come as no surprise that my frequent reads include the feeds for Overheard in New York and Overheard in the Office as well as My Roommate is A Dick. Just recently (okay, tonight), I discovered Passive Aggressive Notes which is, exactly as the name suggests, full of passive aggressive notes. I’d like to direct you to this entry regarding shower usage which I found to be LOL-worthy.