12/26/2007

Around Christmas I always feel closer to god and this tends to confuse me.
I'm not sure if the holiday makes it easier to believe or perhaps it induces guilt that makes me feel I should believe.

Perhaps it's also how empathetic I can be when it comes to music. songs have always made me feel happy, sad or angry as though I could understand exactly what the lyrics meant and why should Christmas music be any different? Perhaps I can understand the feeling of worship, adoration and admiration without actually feeling them.

Still, it may be the time I spent - however few and far between - in Church, Sunday school and with religious loved ones has cemented a seed of belief in me that I still have not managed to shake.

It would be wonderful top believe in a benevolent higher being, would it not? Of course, it seems impractical in today's world, especially when so many people use religion as a crutch, a way to shirk their responsibilities. But also when so many things cause one to question why that being would allow such to happen. Of course, it's always difficult to figure out where to draw the line when it comes to free will. When one wants to blame "God," for every negative aspect of existance does one not negate every individual's own responsibility to do good, to be good?

Still, in a world lacking anything magical or miraculous, one wonders how someone or thing which is all of that and more could exist? But is that to say what one cannot see cannot exist?

I suppose I've talked myself out of this God thing by now. I should be a lawyer. -chuckles-
Cole @ 7:00 PM
0 comments |