7/11/2005

hearing: .45 - Shinedown
feeling: terribly unhappy
wanting: my thoughts to just fucking stop

As I listen to this song I am crying. I cannot seem to come to terms with my own humanity these days. It's so difficult for me to admit my faults for that would make me human. You might say "Well, duh, Cole!" but what's obvious to most is rarely obvious to me.

Why must I be human? Can I not be better than that? I want, more than anything, to be better. I want to be able to look down upon others. I am so very vain. -sigh*

I don't want to go into hysterics every time I must admit I am wrong or so adamantly defend that I am right even when I know otherwise.

Why am I so full of angst? I thought I was over this shit...

And I'm sorry Ashe. I guess I do need to get over myself.. but there's so much more going on, so much more behind what I say.
Cole @ 8:19 AM
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