The Scrolls

Archive for March, 2004

eeks

hearing: Mrs Eberlein
feeling: Cold
wanting: Mt Dew

Vote on my new poll

Well Yesterday I beat my record on comments. Yay.

Today is Ashe’s and Tim’s birthday. Tomorrow Ashe and I are going to have pie and then on Saturday she is having a birthday party thing.

I didn’t have my soda this morning and now I feel all weird. I think I’ll walk down to the Asian store and buy a can during lunch. It’s extremely humid and muggy out, though.

I had a French test today and I think I did all right. tomorrow I have a chemistry test and after I blog I need to finish my homework. I also have homework to do for World Lit and Yasha.

We’re making shirts in printmaking and I wanted to do some with the Cold spider, but I guess I cannot do that because it’s copyright infringement. I don’t understand how as I’m not making money off of it, nor am I claiming that it’s mine. I’m just making a shirt with it because I like the band. LC says is I add some other element that it will be okay, but I really don’t want to. -growls*

Last night I just wanted to sleep, but I had to call Jack. Then, Tim and I got into a discussion about Trig’s. They’ll be opening at the beginning of June and if I start cashiering there I’d just do it full time so I’d be making much more than I was at 29. They’re going to be open 24 hours so I think that will be pretty good business for them.

I need to go.

[edit]I fixed Ashe’s link. After school, Ed picked us up instead of John and then tutoring was a party type thing because the kids have off tomorrow. Although, it wasn’t much fun because I had a migraine and I think I’m starting my period. After tutoring Ed picked me up and we stopped at Burger King, which I hadn’t had for a while. We returned home and after I finished eating, I took a nap to try to get rid of my headache; it didn’t work.

Hmm, when I blogged earlier I mentioned something to Ashe that I wanted to add. Anyway, I added all my voting links back up under site, and I updated the past layouts.

Yesterday someone tried top “poison” a student teacher and some students, but I guess it was more along the lines of a practical joke. They obviously didn’t realize that the chemicals they took from the chemistry rooms were dangerous. -rme* Anyway, now we’re not allowed to cut through the science part of the school, which I always did. This year we’ve also had a broken window, a broken display case, a fire in the boys bathroom, vandalism there, too. And there’s still probably an expulsion every two weeks. Today there were cops near school at some house less than a block away. Svitak was there, too, and I’m thinking if I’m going to skip/smoke/get high I’d do it further from school than that.

I was just going to report the Provance users, and I accidentally reported two because I was looking at the sites I had to comment on, not the people who have to comment on mine.

I need a 12-Step Program

hearing: The music from the movie on tv
feeling: angry
wanting: people to shut up

Vote on my new poll

Am I the only one who is just sick of the way Provance is run? I got a complaint because I commented on someone’s layout, when that’s what they blogged about. -rme* Perhaps if I randomly hit keys on the keyboard, then that will be a better comment. I have reported very few people because I understand that sometimes you cannot comment, or simply do not want to.

Sometimes I feel as though I am being forced to comment on god awful sites. Other times, when I read my comments I want to gouge my eyes out because people are fucking stupid. I shall be complaining about every single person who doesn’t comment, or double comments, or comments with something stupid from now on. It’s only fair!

I watched Anger Management today. I didn’t like it. Jack Nicholson scares me and he just looked so damned disgusting in that movie. Then I watched Serendipity, which I had been meaning to see for years. I really liked that.

It was supposed to be really warm today, but so far hasn’t been. I am so sick of winter, it’s not funny. I just want a little sun, and for this snow to start melting.
I have some questions to answer

Q: Did you.. give my gramma an erection?!
A: Er, stop with the stupid questions, please.

Q:Will you SEX MY GERBIL!?
A:I don’t even want to touch this.

Q: >_< My head itches.. whyd you give me LICE!??!?!
A: They make shampoo for this.

Q: Why are you so nice?
A: Haha. I’m not.

Q: curling iron
A: This isn’t a fucking search engine you moron.

Friday Five, Questions, ETC

Friday Five
1. What was the last song you heard? Poison by Alice Cooper

2. What were the last two movies you saw? Well I know I watched the Emperor’s New Groove sometime this week, but I don’t really remember.

3. What were the last three things you purchased? School lunches and sodas.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?Talk to Rian, do my chemistry, delete Alicia’s personal site, update my hostees page.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?Mrs. Farmer, Mr. Keunen, Piglet, Mr. Lee, Mom

Questions

Q: strip
A: Are you asking me? Chances are I’ll say no unless you’re a hot chick, my shower, or Rian.

Q: do giraffes chew on licorice?
A: No! Duh! They eat leaves. Tall ones, too.

Q: why does my comp fucking suck
A: ‘Cause it’s old.

Q: what is love
A: Love is a chemical reaction in the brain that makes people do stupid stuff. Love is listed here on dictionary.com. Love is a high and you feel that you’ll never come down, but sometimes you do and you crash so hard that you feel like you may never rise again. Love is wonderful and horrible. Love makes you laugh, cry, smile, give, take, bitch, rant, and gush. Love is everything and nothing. Love makes the world go round, yet it makes your heart stop beating. Love is life and death. Love is acceptance and love is blind. Love is indefinable.

Q: what is marriage
A: Marriage is a legal union between two individuals. They may be marrying for love or for reasons known only to them. Often these two people feel they are in love but truly are not, thus marriage ends in divorce. Marriage is a reason to hide your sexuality and stop wondering. Marriage is when sexual desires are ignored because people are afraid of experimenting. Marriage is when you learn to hate the people your spouse loves most. Marriage is a bond that should only be strong because the bond that was already there is just being recognized, not created. Instead, marriage is a weak bond that says what was there is not good enough and only will be good enough once it is announced and made legal. Marriage is phony.

Q: how does love feel
A: Love feels wonderful, great, euphoric, horrible, depressing, saddening, desperate, happy, confusing, tortures, yearnful, and murderous all at the same time. How it feels changes with what one’s current love condition is. To me, love makes my heart beat faster and puts a smile on my face. I feel happy, safe, reassured, and complete. Sometimes I feel worried, jealous, inadequate, and angry but I always feel that it’s worth it.

Q: what am i for?
A: You are for your parents to show off and live through. You are for people to look up to, and down on. You are for teachers to have statistics and friends to lean on. You are for lovers to cherish and enemies to hate. You are for feeling and living and eating and being a consumer. You make the companies happy. You are for doing labour only to be paid too little to late. You are for people to judge. You are for the gods to mock. You are for English teachers to teach that one should not end a sentence in a preposition.

Q: who am I?
A: You are you, as I am I.

Why can’t money grow on trees?

Well I do have some good news: my hits have gone back up. They’re getting much closer to what they were before. It means all the theories that I had about why they were going down are crap. d=

But, I also need $200 for the down payment for housing and I’ll need $800 for the first month in Arizona. I think I can get the money, but my problem is that I don’t know if I have a way down there. If I go by plane or trane I’ll need my stuff shipped but that’s expensive. Ashe wants to drive but I don’t think her mom would let us. It’d be a fun trip through and I’d definitely be more comfortable.

Hum. People keep double commenting. Please, only hit submit once. It will post, even if it is a bit slow. i’m not sure if thats the problem, though; this was enver a problem before and it’s happening frequently, now. I think perhaps YACCS is having some problems.
I have a few questions to answer.

Q: will i get with glen?
A: The better question is whether or not you’ll learn proper English. I am not a magic 8 ball. XD

Q: Why ?
A: Why not?

Q: Cole! Don’t touch me there! Only the preist can!
A: What’s a preist?

Q: where is pie?
A: I don’t know. I couldn’t find it, )=

Q: Will I marry Erin Eaton
A: No, you’re gay.

Q: are you a panda
A: No, but I do think they’re cute.

Change of plans.

Vote on the new poll!

Today was another story, which doesn’t really matter to me because I wouldn’t have gone either. However, I’m not sure why it was a snow day because there is about 5 more inches of snow, but the roads are perfectly fine. They’re even better hype here, now, than when we have 2 or 3 inches. So my day off isn’t so special.

I actually didn’t go to the courthouse with mom and Tim because Tim told me not to. I was really tired and couldn’t drag myself out of bed. Then I decided I have nothing to wear that isn’t black, which is true. It sounds like I didn’t miss much. Liz, my aunt, and Grandpa went too and from what Mom says Liz got the car stuck in the driveway because Grandpa told her that she needed to turn around and he’s driven “for over forty years” so he should know. Then when everyone was in the mall parking lot Liz said “if he hadn’t said anything” and Grandpa said her husband deserve to beat her. So she was crying and said “Fuck you” really loudly while Mom and Tim were heading to the car and trying not to be associated. Later Grandpa was all “I still love you Lizzie.” I know he’s aging but these aren’t just personality traits. Sometimes the thing that he says are downright scary.

Mrs. Farmer said my interview went well, and that I really won people over because of my decision to go to Arizona blindly. They know that financial circumstances are a problem and we can’t really overcome them at this time, so I hope that will be a factor in what scholarships I may receive and how much. On the topic of money, Ben made me feel better the other night because he said one day I will own a house and have five cars and not have to worry about it. II <3 Ben
.
I had some problems with my Lita Ford fanlisting, but now they’re fixed. We really need some people to apply to be reviewed at Adrenaline. So pretty, pretty please? -gives puppy dog eyes*

Here’s the Friday Five
What was…

1. …your first grade teacher’s name?
I think it was Mrs. Louis, but I don’t remember her at all. I don’t even remember my kindergarten teacher’s name.

2. …your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Garfield! dun dun dun dun (Garfield theme song!)

3. …the name of your very first best friend? Crystal

4. …your favorite breakfast cereal?
We never had anything good. Once we had to eat oatmeal for two months straight because my mom’s ex is an asshole. Needless to say, I rarely touch oatmeal anymore. I really like honeycomb now, though. Oh! Wait! I remember that I used to have cream of wheat at grandma’s house and I loved it. She always made it so perfectly and I could never master that art. Go Grandma!

5. …your favorite thing to do after school?
I used to have this Best Friends Forever club thingy. So I did that a lot. I’d call meetings on Saturdays and the like. Hum. I’d come home and play Barbies a lot. I also played house and took walks. We lived in the country so I could disappear for hours down by the creek. I didn’t watch a lot of TV, I know that. I would play with the cats and dogs and sometimes I would go out into “the shed” which is where Dan kept all his “junk” and take some inside. Dan was a “junk man;” he collected old appliances and tore them apart to sell the metal to places as scrap or to sell as parts. He kept this in the shed and out behind the shed. So the stuff I was bringing in was dirty and not very healthy.

Owwie

Today I have my scholarship interview. IT lasts for 8 minutes so I need to make a good impression in a short amount of time. I’ve heard everything from it’s fun to it’s intimidating and that the questions are normal and that they’re extremely queer. I am not nervous. Wish me luck. These are local scholarships and the people who give them do not necessarily have the time to interview each of the students so the teachers at school do.

[edit]
I became nervous in my 6th hour, the class before the interview. There really was no reason because one of the interviewers is my chemistry teacher who I have had for two years and she led the questioning. There was a lot of laughing and that must be a good sign, right? [/edit]

Last night, I walked into one of the doors of the entertainment center and cut my head. Needless to say, I am in an incredibly large amount of pain. It’s a pretty long gash and I would not have come to school if I did not have the interview today. This week I’ve hurt myself 4 different times, and three of them resulted in blood loss. I think perhaps someone should put me in a padded room.

Friday I will not be going to school because mom and Tim are going down to the courthouse to be married! Last night I helped mom pick out which jewelry she would wear and stuff. She bought her dress used and it was only $5. She just needed to sew the zipper back on in a small place. That’s incredibly cheap considering as dresses can be thousands of dollars! It’s a nice dress too.

I have a Chemistry test tomorrow and there is a lot of reading that I need to be doing for my literature classes. I love to read, but I hate having deadlines for it. I have a little over two weeks to finish the book for World Lit and 45 days to do my critique for Modern American Lit. Also, we’re reading a novel in MAL and I have to finish that first. Luckily, I finished the book that I was reading for leisure. It was a great book and I cannot wait for the author to write some more in the series.

Well, a class is coming in to use the computers so I shall take my leave. I’ll edit this post later with some other news.
-muah*

[edit]Well, here is what is going on with me.
i have lived with financial problems all my life. i am just sick of them and can’t wait to get over them. this is why I’m so dedicated to certain things and in some aspects i won’t even consider failing. it’s not an option because i never want to live with this shit again, nor would i want to have children who must endure it.

that said, tonight the repo guy came and took our car. The killer here is that, Tim (mom’s bf) just called the Nissan people and they said, yes, we understand. The post office likes to lose our mail, and that includes payments for things. Places in town didn’t even receive them and Tim has contacted all of them. This is not the first time and we’re going to take a little trip down the post office because every time our mail is lost in x-file land of the post office Tim must pay $40 to cancel a check. I guess they got their lines crossed, eh? Well they showed up at quarter to ten and Samantha (my 1 year old sister) woke up. The guy didn’t even apologize and it was certainly his duty to do so. These people with a lack of compassionate ought to be shot. So mom and Tim cleaned out the car and they took it and when we want to get it back Tim has to drive 2 hours.

I’m feeling a lot of despair right now. I am also feeling more determined and infallible as ever. I know what I must do and I know I can make it. I refuse to let myself have to live through this any longer than I must. I guess now I’m faced with the fact that before I can be out of this I’ll have to be a poor college student. Well, it’s certainly been done before and I think I can do it.

but I’m terrified of what will become of me once I leave for college. I will be traveling across the country to a place where I know no one and nothing. I don’t even know how I’m going to find a way there nor do I know how I will pay for my living expenses before I start a new job. (I have a job now but the hours are crap and the pay isn’t very good either.) Okay, so I will meet people, yes. I’m just afraid of being lost in the process of getting somewhere in life.

But people say I’m strong and sometimes I even believe them. So I will be strong. I think I’m going to be getting a summer job as my tutoring job will end when school does. Also I’m going to find some applications for hotels or whatnot where I can housekeep on the weekends. A friend of mine and I and are also planning to do some freelance web design for places around here which will help a little.

After typing this it seems a lot simpler. I have this plan and if I can manage to stick to it I may not have to worry about so many things. At least that’s what I’m hoping will happen. I’ll have money for getting down there and maybe some extra. I’m not a big going out person, so that really won’t affect my checkbook so much.

I’ve finished crying, and I do feel a tad refreshed. Sometimes financial problems just really affect me, and I’m not even the one paying the bills. But, I’ll cross that bridge when I arrive there.
[/edit]