 |  |
 |  |
 |  |
Cole @ 11:19 PM
0 comments |
well let's see..
i can post.. couldn't last night.. sick of blogger being down fateback doesnt host perl.. m'pissed
was rather pissed last night at the fact that christianity does not educate its members about other religions... all those other religions do.. therefore christians have no right to speak on other religions, b/c they never know wtf they're talking about -shrugs* i wanna scream shut up or ill sacrific your ass t'satan.. i dont..
t'be more like Justin. muahaha
the people at cf bug me..
Cole @ 7:57 PM
0 comments |
i can post.. couldn't last night.. sick of blogger being down fateback doesnt host perl.. m'pissed
was rather pissed last night at the fact that christianity does not educate its members about other religions... all those other religions do.. therefore christians have no right to speak on other religions, b/c they never know wtf they're talking about -shrugs* i wanna scream shut up or ill sacrific your ass t'satan.. i dont..
t'be more like Justin. muahaha
the people at cf bug me..
Cole @ 7:57 PM
0 comments |
if i pour m'heart out t'you
who's t'say you're actually listening at all?
i feel that way all the time..
or if they do listen
people dont realize how fucking serious this all is t'me
everything is sucky
cause i miss randy
and not just being with him
having him as a friend
cause he made me feel GREAT
he knew me.. knew when i was upset
knew how t'make me feel better
i dont have that now
but this isnt the big problem
only the underlying factor
we kinda broke up on the.. i love you.. and miss you.. but at the moment i cant talk t'you terms..
so i was hoping he'd come back..
and everything would be good..
and i can wait..
but then im a girl
and i start liking other people
which makes me feel whoreish
and id gotten t'the point where i didnt feel that way
only its like a like a dozen guys
and its way hard differentiation between liking
and just thinking you could be with this person
guy named chris..
started playing.. and whoa.. here is turns ive got feelings for the guy..
kinda seems theres nothing that could come of it tho..
wanna spare myself the hurt
mhmm..
well kinda
there's this one irl..
but hes like al on drugs
and now he has a g/f
and i think that was just a flighty crush
guy named phil
from detroit
rather close
really nice
has a fucking hot voice
but like his bro's ex g/f talked him into letting her move in
and shes falling for him.. or so she told me
and shes telling him t'get with me
and i think he really does like me
but hes 28
and normally age doesnt matter
but thats freaking me out
and there were several other guys i liked
but wound up with other chicks
mer
but phil is like..
really awesome.. but i think the age wold create a problem irl..
talked on the phone last night for 3 hours
t'a guy named justin
who lives in state -gasp*
like an hour away
and might be coming down on friday
but he's freaking on the age..
and i think this is more the we -could- get together things..
however he doesnt piss me off..
like the rest of the world
Cole @ 5:31 PM
|
who's t'say you're actually listening at all?
i feel that way all the time..
or if they do listen
people dont realize how fucking serious this all is t'me
everything is sucky
cause i miss randy
and not just being with him
having him as a friend
cause he made me feel GREAT
he knew me.. knew when i was upset
knew how t'make me feel better
i dont have that now
but this isnt the big problem
only the underlying factor
we kinda broke up on the.. i love you.. and miss you.. but at the moment i cant talk t'you terms..
so i was hoping he'd come back..
and everything would be good..
and i can wait..
but then im a girl
and i start liking other people
which makes me feel whoreish
and id gotten t'the point where i didnt feel that way
only its like a like a dozen guys
and its way hard differentiation between liking
and just thinking you could be with this person
guy named chris..
started playing.. and whoa.. here is turns ive got feelings for the guy..
kinda seems theres nothing that could come of it tho..
wanna spare myself the hurt
mhmm..
well kinda
but hes like al on drugs
and now he has a g/f
and i think that was just a flighty crush
guy named phil
from detroit
rather close
really nice
has a fucking hot voice
but like his bro's ex g/f talked him into letting her move in
and shes falling for him.. or so she told me
and shes telling him t'get with me
and i think he really does like me
but hes 28
and normally age doesnt matter
but thats freaking me out
and there were several other guys i liked
but wound up with other chicks
mer
but phil is like..
really awesome.. but i think the age wold create a problem irl..
talked on the phone last night for 3 hours
t'a guy named justin
who lives in state -gasp*
like an hour away
and might be coming down on friday
but he's freaking on the age..
and i think this is more the we -could- get together things..
however he doesnt piss me off..
like the rest of the world
Cole @ 5:31 PM
|
too many tests
go look
must stop
its only right to stop
make me stop
i cant stop
AHHHHH!
Cole @ 5:54 PM
0 comments |
go look
must stop
its only right to stop
make me stop
i cant stop
AHHHHH!
Cole @ 5:54 PM
0 comments |
i hurt
fucking hurt
emotion is weakness
wish people weren't so shallow
need a crying shoulder
hold me
Cole @ 10:54 PM
0 comments |
fucking hurt
emotion is weakness
wish people weren't so shallow
need a crying shoulder
hold me
Cole @ 10:54 PM
0 comments |
humans are fucking dusgusting i can't stand them
why the hell does everyone come t'me with their problems? i'm really not in control people i'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown i dont know who i am and sometimes i just want t'cry do you think i can handle your problems as well?
sometimes i wish i could just be your normal 15 y/o girl cause most people cant accept that m'not i hate the shit that i get cause of m'age
will you all get your heads out of your asses please?
guys piss me off.. i have none.. i want one.. i want Him.. -sigh* i dont know where m'going..
i have no energy for all of this.. this shit these games.. the hurt the pain..
make it all go afuckingway
Cole @ 10:17 PM
0 comments |
why the hell does everyone come t'me with their problems? i'm really not in control people i'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown i dont know who i am and sometimes i just want t'cry do you think i can handle your problems as well?
sometimes i wish i could just be your normal 15 y/o girl cause most people cant accept that m'not i hate the shit that i get cause of m'age
will you all get your heads out of your asses please?
guys piss me off.. i have none.. i want one.. i want Him.. -sigh* i dont know where m'going..
i have no energy for all of this.. this shit these games.. the hurt the pain..
make it all go afuckingway
Cole @ 10:17 PM
0 comments |
m'so fucked up... its not even funny..
i think i need t'explain the way i see myself
i dont think m'attractive.. and this is weird.. cause there are a ton of people who will argue...
so i blame this for the fact that i.. well how do i say it.. that no one likes me..
which is a fucking lie.. cause i have been liked.. and i know it..
however maybe my standards are too high..
get over it cole
m'talking t'myself
dear lady -l*
anyway this is why cole is in so many relationships online, and why so many of them have resulted in total catstrophy
and i dont like m'attitude.. m'a totally bitch at school.. totally unreadable.. and then no one asks whats wrong cause they cant tell and i only wind up more upset cause i think no one knows me well enough or no one cares.. and im not even trying t'be unreadable am i?
anyway
its wound up that i got distracted
and i dont feel the need t'explain anymore
Cole @ 2:01 AM
0 comments |
i think i need t'explain the way i see myself
i dont think m'attractive.. and this is weird.. cause there are a ton of people who will argue...
so i blame this for the fact that i.. well how do i say it.. that no one likes me..
which is a fucking lie.. cause i have been liked.. and i know it..
however maybe my standards are too high..
get over it cole
m'talking t'myself
dear lady -l*
anyway this is why cole is in so many relationships online, and why so many of them have resulted in total catstrophy
and i dont like m'attitude.. m'a totally bitch at school.. totally unreadable.. and then no one asks whats wrong cause they cant tell and i only wind up more upset cause i think no one knows me well enough or no one cares.. and im not even trying t'be unreadable am i?
anyway
its wound up that i got distracted
and i dont feel the need t'explain anymore
Cole @ 2:01 AM
0 comments |
m'feeling so shitty i prolly wouldnt even back away if someone tried t'hug me
in fact i might even welcome it :/
Cole @ 6:25 PM
0 comments |
in fact i might even welcome it :/
Cole @ 6:25 PM
0 comments |
fuck! sore.. devon tried t'trip me.. i bitched him out..thoroughly.. still can barely walk..
pissed at hormones -l*
i hate it when people give off signals.. even the tinsiest type.. if you dont mean something by it, dont do it.. i overreact t'some of them -shrugs* i get hurt.. it really fucking sucks
oh well..
m'taking m'unhappiness out on others..
theres no room fo rme in mom and tim's relatiionship. .there never was.. guess its why i distance myself from them so much and its sad.. how they could see how i feel.. its just a click away..
and people.. i think josh made me feel like i was too dependent.. and i tried to pull away from people.. so i wouldnt be.. only ive gone too far
Cole @ 5:34 PM
0 comments |
pissed at hormones -l*
i hate it when people give off signals.. even the tinsiest type.. if you dont mean something by it, dont do it.. i overreact t'some of them -shrugs* i get hurt.. it really fucking sucks
oh well..
m'taking m'unhappiness out on others..
theres no room fo rme in mom and tim's relatiionship. .there never was.. guess its why i distance myself from them so much and its sad.. how they could see how i feel.. its just a click away..
and people.. i think josh made me feel like i was too dependent.. and i tried to pull away from people.. so i wouldnt be.. only ive gone too far
Cole @ 5:34 PM
0 comments |
meeting at school.. pissed me off..
sullivan talked to us.. and when he got to the part aobut having 'drugs' and us giving them to people and how that could be 'expelable' mr svitak goes what does expelable mean lmfao and sully goes it means you can be expelled idiot
this means i cant give anyone even a coughdrop lol or you know like midol hello those guys dont have cramps!
and then no chains hello what if we lose our wallets?
and spikes cause they can be weapons well so can pencils books was ready t'get up there and stab him with a pencil
no 'revealing' clothes either well fuck that the preps can get away with w/e they want and whenever he talked about 'the way you present yourselves' he looked at me
fucking asshole
Cole @ 9:50 PM
0 comments |
sullivan talked to us.. and when he got to the part aobut having 'drugs' and us giving them to people and how that could be 'expelable' mr svitak goes what does expelable mean lmfao and sully goes it means you can be expelled idiot
this means i cant give anyone even a coughdrop lol or you know like midol hello those guys dont have cramps!
and then no chains hello what if we lose our wallets?
and spikes cause they can be weapons well so can pencils books was ready t'get up there and stab him with a pencil
no 'revealing' clothes either well fuck that the preps can get away with w/e they want and whenever he talked about 'the way you present yourselves' he looked at me
fucking asshole
Cole @ 9:50 PM
0 comments |
i signed up for this streetwise thing and they send ya 'swag' aka music stuff and they had extra for the band custom and i got sent some
m'aunt sent me m'bday present.. abit early.. she signed the card wait your bday is in may isn't it? sorry -lol*
another bad thing.. we had two snow days we have t'make up... and cause m'bday is at the end of may i have t'take exams on that day i have a frickin history exam on m'bday in fact i have all 3 scheduled exams
well heidie goes today.. are you really goth? do you look up to satan? i told her to find out what goth was before she asked me that and shes like if you think it doesnt have t do with satan you need to look it up -rme*
but then charles was like leave her alone or ill kick your ass
what's really bothering me.. involves admitting a lot.. t'myself.. and if posted here.. t'everyone else..
and well.. just that has made me realize i need t'stop..
but i wanna get it out.. and i can't
Cole @ 4:52 PM
0 comments |
m'aunt sent me m'bday present.. abit early.. she signed the card wait your bday is in may isn't it? sorry -lol*
another bad thing.. we had two snow days we have t'make up... and cause m'bday is at the end of may i have t'take exams on that day i have a frickin history exam on m'bday in fact i have all 3 scheduled exams
well heidie goes today.. are you really goth? do you look up to satan? i told her to find out what goth was before she asked me that and shes like if you think it doesnt have t do with satan you need to look it up -rme*
but then charles was like leave her alone or ill kick your ass
what's really bothering me.. involves admitting a lot.. t'myself.. and if posted here.. t'everyone else..
and well.. just that has made me realize i need t'stop..
but i wanna get it out.. and i can't
Cole @ 4:52 PM
0 comments |
wtf.. i give up..
'if you could step into my head, tell me would you still love me?
and if you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me?'
when did all the fun stuff turn so serious and deadly?
-sigh*
i really dont want it anymore
Cole @ 11:22 PM
0 comments |
'if you could step into my head, tell me would you still love me?
and if you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me?'
when did all the fun stuff turn so serious and deadly?
-sigh*
i really dont want it anymore
Cole @ 11:22 PM
0 comments |
-hiccups* well.. m'really tired.. i babysat today.. money is nice i guess, but i had t'get up early so i figured if i was gunna go t'sleep i wouldn't wake up.. so i pulled an all nighter.. kinda :\ got an hour of z between 7:30 and 8:30..
kids were okay.. saw jay and silent bob strike back tomb raider the animal and she lended us joy ride.. the alt endings sucked -sl*
watched scream 3 last ngiht.. those people really need t'stop..
designed a new layout for karissa's site.. the layout is nice.. gotta work on the mouseover links..
chatting, kinda.. -shrugs*
m'bored.. feel dirty
miss randy
head hurts
angelina was really hot in tomb raider
Cole @ 6:58 PM
0 comments |
kids were okay.. saw jay and silent bob strike back tomb raider the animal and she lended us joy ride.. the alt endings sucked -sl*
watched scream 3 last ngiht.. those people really need t'stop..
designed a new layout for karissa's site.. the layout is nice.. gotta work on the mouseover links..
chatting, kinda.. -shrugs*
m'bored.. feel dirty
miss randy
head hurts
angelina was really hot in tomb raider
Cole @ 6:58 PM
0 comments |
i have outgrown a lot of things..
musically.. metallica.. it's almost unbelievable
i've outgrown alot of m'friends irl and online
a lot of the forums and chats..
i've outgrown the way i look at things..
is this normal?
-sigh*
i think when ben said i was hiding from the world, he was right.
only m'not doing it on purpose. i think i juss dunno where t'go now that i've realized i don't like how things are, and i've grown out of everything.
and in a way maybe it's good, cause maybe after this long dark tea time of the soul i'll get m'head on straight.
Cole @ 9:54 PM
0 comments |
musically.. metallica.. it's almost unbelievable
i've outgrown alot of m'friends irl and online
a lot of the forums and chats..
i've outgrown the way i look at things..
is this normal?
-sigh*
i think when ben said i was hiding from the world, he was right.
only m'not doing it on purpose. i think i juss dunno where t'go now that i've realized i don't like how things are, and i've grown out of everything.
and in a way maybe it's good, cause maybe after this long dark tea time of the soul i'll get m'head on straight.
Cole @ 9:54 PM
0 comments |
i love this song
Gone Away
Cold
Do you pray in the night
Can you appreciate the winds
And I would kill I would fight
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And It's my whole life in words
And I can't breathe when you cry
But I'll be there to hold you tight
And I would kill I would fight
To keep you close
I keep singing the same way
I won't live if you die
If I can feel you in the winds
And this is me, it's my life
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life in words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life
And I can't say
And I don't know
I'll fall
I'll go
And I can't say
And I don't know
I'll fall
I'll go
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life in words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life
Cole @ 9:43 PM
0 comments |
Gone Away
Cold
Do you pray in the night
Can you appreciate the winds
And I would kill I would fight
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And It's my whole life in words
And I can't breathe when you cry
But I'll be there to hold you tight
And I would kill I would fight
To keep you close
I keep singing the same way
I won't live if you die
If I can feel you in the winds
And this is me, it's my life
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life in words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life
And I can't say
And I don't know
I'll fall
I'll go
And I can't say
And I don't know
I'll fall
I'll go
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life in words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
And it's my whole life
Cole @ 9:43 PM
0 comments |
insomnia.. up since 3 am.. exhausted.. sore.. meh.. want Him.. cold
-dead
Cole @ 10:39 PM
0 comments |
-dead
Cole @ 10:39 PM
0 comments |
